Thank you
for never saying
“I don’t love you anymore”
or
“I never loved you”
I sincerely smile
an odd little smile
a sudden gratitude

We want options but hate making choices.
Looking up to others waiting for their voices.
Easily swayed when someone claims.
This is the right one, no one to blame.

Dating, living, food it is all the same.
The abundance just makes it a game.
Who, what, where fits us best.
Giving up on the original moving onto the rest.

How to pick one and be happy.
When you are just another fish in the sea.
Not hunting for what you need.
Clouded by objects, luxuries.

They say lovebirds only need each other.
Fluff their feathers and stay together forever.
We are no different, no need for royalty.
Just make a decision and keep some loyalty.

Finding a lover is effortless
for some people.
They only want a few things:
Someone attractive, kind,
funny or rich.

But
I desire
something so much deeper.

I want

an intelligent mind
that wakes up thoughts in me
I didn't realize were hibernating.

I want

to converse, analyze and debate
without being conscious of
the sun rising and falling
between our words.

I want

to make a witty remark
at a coffee shop
so he can reply sarcastically
just for me to jab back immediately
and for him to comeback back playfully
until we're both laughing
stomachs shaking
spit flying
the whole store staring
and we leave
without coffee

I want

our hands to stitch together
perfectly
like two lost puzzle pieces;
one found under a couch cushion
one found inside a junk drawer.
The rest of the puzzle has
already been thrown away
but
these two pieces remain
and they fit.

I want

to fall in love together
then together fall in love with
art, museums, songs, poems
T.V shows, radio jingles,
greek food, backroads,
our mutual hatred for pop culture,
doing the dishes (as long as he washes and I dry)
wrong turns, piled up laundry, life.
Just fall in love with life.

I want

to hurt with him

I want

to save the world with him

I want

to meet, see, understand
and experience all that is foreign
with him.

I think it will only take us meeting
and it'll only be history and happiness from then on.

It's just a matter of if a love like that could ever be
and if a love like that could ever be for me.

My mind oscillates
From mist to Scarlet scores
From gray-blue hazy hints of music
To quite strong Metal chords
I feel the fingers brush my lips
And new tattoos come blooming out
Paisley curves upon my arms
Words at a Waltz
Paint and sketches tumble in
Stark lines burn down
Black white blue red

what a bitter taste is left in my mouth!
The knowledge I had a hand in this poison does little to draw it out
not one thing remains to be missed
Not a word
not a syllable
not a kiss
I’ve heard the lingering flavor of lust
More than merely resembles Disgust
But I hate to consider my love to be Dust

every word
is bitter now
each slowly
turns to smoke
some fires take
too long to die
these ashes choke my throat

But bright hope begins to clear the flu
as brooms do sweep the hearth
stronger flames burst bright anew
And joy dances!
Sing my heart!