No matter the path I take
Grace and Living water greet me

next time I'd like to be even more quiet with my words
If you want to know
Ask
I'll spend my time listening
and working at my own goals
Learn to say no
not choosing over my family
The one who loves me knows

wondrous conundrum
perplexing sublimation
that as I build the fires in other's hearts
my own brightness grows
to unclothe for the naked
is to find ever increasing layers on my skin
Giving out gold
only to find my glinting hands fuller
Placing rubies in my sister's crown
and finding my own circlet more heavy

there's a little starfish gem
hanging from my crystal Moti dish
You brushed it as you entered the room
and even though I told it
whispered no
it twisted farther down
with each calm glance I gave you
Energy
Lightness I hadn't known I lacked
suddenly filled my countenance
*like a charm

when I began to write
poetry
all those years ago

I was amazed to find
that I even
had a voice.

It was a gift
that I never
hoped for.

I only shared light.

There is too much
darkness.

And then
little by little
I had to write
about the monsters
in the deep.

And my writing
got to be
unrecognizable.

Those couldn't be
my words.

Don't bury me
in a grave
in a big old box
I've known too much
darkness.

And so here I am
trying to balance
injury
with hope for a new future

That may be called
healing.

In fall my spring came
As the warmth of summer faded into the cool before our first Indian summer
I lifted up my face like the recent sunflowers
and felt all the pride and joy and peace
Along my tall spine

today my feelings
are sick
I don't know why
because life is pretty good
I smile genuinely
brighter than before
My smile sits on a chin held higher

maybe they are just a mirror
Of my still struggling health
and today is just part of my journey
It has been a while since I've cried