I just don't know
I can only think about how it makes me feel

I will never know the word numb again

What is more raw than going there?
Let's go there

I want to think about IT

You giving your storms to another bird
You giving your oceans to another ship

They can only survive you

The dark separates the light from itself
But the dark is how to find the light
It always happens before the light
Like a porch waiting for the sun to dry itself off
You have to walk through it
You can't turn back
Time never does
The earth rotates the same way

North is north until the curve makes it south

Dark is dark
Until it's not

Because what happened, happened
You already were there

It's gonna repeat itself

You have to adjust to it's appearance its not going away you can't forget it's you or instead what happened to you your choice pick one

All the pages are soaked
You wrote them
Then tried to burn them
But your tears put out the fire
That's why you cry
To put out the fire
Put it out
Or let it burn
But do you want to burn

Or be a survivor?

When I asked him why he said such cruel words,
He told me he did it out of love.

When I asked him why he threw things,
He told me he did it out of love.

When I asked why he threw a bottle at me,
He told me he did it out of love.

When I asked him why he hit me,
He told me he did it for my own good.

When I asked him why he forced me,
He told me to get out of his sight.

When I asked him why he choked me,
He told me to die.

I guess the answer isn't always
*because I love you.

It's not you
    I promise
What I say is true
      He never deserved
           You

     It's not your fault
           I know for a fact
      Trust me
             You are better
          Than a boy like that

It's for the best
       Please,
    Believe me
          He'll do it to the next girl
       And the next
            And next
      You'll find your one
          In this world

        It's time to breathe
             Have faith in what
          I'm saying to you
      This might just be
                Poetry
          But I was cheated on too

It's time to believe
      You're worth more than
   You can see
           No more tears, please
      He's not worth your pain
             You're gorgeous
       And you're NOT to blame

     It's for the best,
              It's not you
          Please,
    Just Breathe.
          Believe me,
  Cause I've made it through.
         I know,
      What I say is true.
             Cause
         **I was cheated on too.

here's how it happens
the morning after
you reach into the drawer
where the your t-shirts live
to find it austere
you'll shrug because
you're still drunk
& you can't remember
when last it was
that you had something wet
or how long it's been
since you made the floorboards blush
or why the carpet is upset
who wouldn't be
the contents to the upended ashtray
strewn around the apartment
resemble the aftermath
of the smallest war
to ever take place in norfolk
some midnight thief
must've made off with the lighter
because it isn't in
any of your favorite spots
maybe you chucked it
along with a hundred other things
that make noise when they land
in the neighbors yard
you won't remember putting
the refrigerator's belongings
in the bathtub
or scrawling a buzzard
on the bedroom door
but then again who would
you'll pretend it's spring again
before putting on your winter coat
to go out front with a cigarette
in your mouth
you'll hope for a passing stranger
to *** a light from
or drag yourself to the corner
with couch cushion change
to buy a new lighter
and on your way
you won't bother looking back
this is just another day
on eggshells for no reason
another november
choking on birthday candles
on your way home
you step over beer cans
the kind you fell in love with
and wonder who
had the last laugh last night
or if anyone said a word at all
it might've been another
moment of clarity
it might have been some idiot savant
any adjective that feels like home
anything that keeps you thirsty

I think of god
stopping by
the storage unit
the home
of his son’s
cross
and I try
to remember
for god
the four
digit
code
that he might
better
follow
a different
melancholy
thought-

for example,
how he
will not
in his
lifetime
see

in snow
his footprint

but alas
I am
as unable
to remember
something
I’ve never
known
as I am
unable
to be sick
like my son
is sick, yet

there are times
I pinch
myself
in front
of my kids
as if my body
has its own
family
I’m not allowed
to meet

I'm not "Religious".
I believe in sin (Wink wink- If you know what I mean)
but I don't believe in religion when it cajoles or demeans.
Yet there is a ray of light in the windows of my dreams.
And it calls to me in a voice at once radiant and dim.

I call it the universe, but were I Religious, I'd call it "Him".

I am not loud, nor do I preach.
I believe in soft voices, and hymns sung only in one's head.
I believe in the reach of silence, broad and inky and welcoming.
I believe in my own inner thoughts and their peace (and too, their dread)
Yet there is a voice that tells me, in words softly said
that sometimes only the loudest sermons truly can teach.

I am non-religious, and I have been for a while.
I believe in dulcet whispers, and the sweet touch of sin.
I believe in Metal Music, and the musical devil within.
Then why, whenever I see someone capitalize "Him"
does my mouth turn up at the corners,
and grant me an unasked, yet welcome smile?