When did the thought of death become more welcomed than the thought of life

Shaking hands reveal the truth
I should have seen it, when my eyes brimmed with tears as I confessed my love for you,  
And with eyes downcast you whispered 'I love you too' but your hands shivered
I should have looked deeper
When my friend sighed 'everything is okay"
But with those forced words, came hands that shaked
I should have realized when I told myself 'I'm getting better' and an earthquake passed through my fingertips
I now know, to look past the deception and seek the truth your hands will show

He held a shaking gun towards me
And I laughed maniacally
Silly lover, don't you see?
You have already burned holes within me, Done much more damage internally
Than that silly gun could ever do

Lust, the price of you is my sanity
You inspire such dark desire within me
I am enveloped by your luminous fire
So undisciplined and destructive
Have my hands always had this tremor?

Lust, I am chasing a pleasure so sinful and unrefined
Delving into this painful bind
You hold me captivated, injecting me with the addictive need for release
I ache for sheets covered with the sweet scent of unadulterated passion

Lust, see what you have done to me?

She falters
You stumble
She whispers
You rumble
Under covers they tumble
Attempting to repair love with false pretenses and broken promises

Time heals they say, so you must be every second, minute, hour
Tell me lover... how did you obtain this power?
Where a simple graze of your fingertips against me...
Makes each passing second last for eternity
And why, when I'm not with you, do I feel these hours are betraying me?
With you happiness is an aquirable virtue and you seal my wounds leaving me thinking....
Hello time, it's nice to finally meet you

Your eyes are like galaxies
And I've always been one to gaze far too long at the stars