Dear* *My Love,
I sit here in the dark writing you this letter
Hoping our boy soon feels better
I am sorry I am not there to do my chores
But you well know I am off to war
I shall see you soon, right after my tour
Imma walk through that door, that's for **** sure
When the bombs stop dropping
And our women stop sobbing
"When ****** is found dead"
"You'll all go home" he Said
So I ask you to keep some cookies ready
Because before you know, it I'm home already!
Forever yours,
T.T.

I mean a lot to people, but I don't mean a lot to me....

Though you be many miles away
We'll never be apart
I just reach out my hand
To feel the beating of your hearts

I am not writing this
to get attention
or pity
or so people will tell me
I'm beautiful the way I am.

I am writing this
because when I post a poem about
being terrified to look at myself
because I hate what I see,
it should not be added to a collection titled
Humorous.

I am writing this
because when I sit at a lunch table
without a brown paper sack,
boys should not laugh when they ask
what, are you anorexic?

I am writing this
because when I watch Disney Channel
with my eight-year-old cousin,
I should not hear jokes
about skipping meals.

I am writing this
because when you google
anorexia is,
the first suggestion should not be
anorexia is good.

I am writing this
because our society should not
expect people to be paper thin
but judge them
for trying to get there.

I am writing this
because insecurities
are not a joke,
*no one
should be laughing.

Today I woke up and all I wanted with my entire being was for someone to be there next to me to tickle my back.

That's all just someone to tickle my back.

Most days I'm totally okay with being alone but it's moments like this when I crave the company of another.

To be able to call them in the morning and ask them to come over for the day.
                                                                    
And lay in bed all day watching Disney movies wrapped up in each other, exchanging light kisses and inside jokes.

Because there is nothing better than having your back tickled and nothing worse than there being no one to do it.

Laying in an ice cold room,
IV in my hand,
I close my eyes and plead with god
Trying to understand .

" im sorry we cant save it ,
But theres a chance that you could die;
I know your in a lot of pain
And Its ok to cry ".

I feel my husband squeeze my arm,
Im trembling in fright  ,
Im sad and im defeated
And I dont have that much fight .

" Your bleeding into your belly
We need to operate right now ,
Continue to be strong for us "...
.....But i just dont know how.

A foggy conversation ,
And their whisking me away ,
My eyelids get real heavy
And i just start to pray.

Waking up to quiet ,
Im tired and im sore ,
Depressed without a baby
On the maternity floor.

God must have a plan for me
That i just can not see ;
Even through our struggles
Whats meant to be ...
Will be .

my darling sister
he says
this is what happens you love someone
too much
that you lose yourself
because "you" became a part
of them
and when they leave
they take *you
and you'd feel lost
so lost
that you'd end up taking that one thing
you still own
something only you can control:
death.