Do you know how much it hurts?
If you did, would you even care?
I'm dying slowly from the ache.
I don't know what to say.

Will you **** me, dear?
Will you be the cause of my death?
It feels as though I'm already dying,
I sometimes wish I was dead--
I would do anything, love, so I could stop feeling
Because anything and everything, right now, is far too much.

You bare my sins to your soul
There's nothing I can hide
The only thing I can, love, is how much I want to die
You see everything else
You know what is behind most of my jokes
You want to help, love
But you don't.

Do you really want to know?

Do you?

Probably not.

You're still struggling and healing
You have things to work through for yourself.
I just wish I could get over this whole thing
You're a ******* and the cause of so much pain
I shouldn't love you, and yet I do
For the things you don't let any of our friends see
No, only me.

**** me, please.
You don't know, and that's the worst.
But I'm not going to tell you, dear.
I'll suffer in silence, for, to you, that's all I'm worth.
Silence and empty messages
Strings of words and faded thoughts
All I want is for this pain to stop
Do you know this, dear?
No.
I think not.

I don't even know what to do anymore
I hate how you always dominate my mind
If I could move on, don't you think I would?
I just want the pain to stop, but it won't
Do you see my dilemma?
Do you understand what's going on?
With you around, I can never notice anyone.

No matter how hard I try, you keep me preoccupied
Even when that cutie across the way smiles at me
All I can think, is why don't you look at me like that?
Do you see my dilemma, now?
You say you don't believe in love
You're evidence enough that soulmates exist
I just want to be your everything
And the problem is, until I fall out of love
(Something I don't ever want to do)
Everyone else will be second place
When compared to you.

Do you see my dilemma?
I can't even think about anyone else
I try so hard to be distracted by something, anything--
But you've got me smitten
I've fallen so hard for you.

I'm not interested in anything but forever with you.
Do you see this dilemma?
We're at an impasse, we're stuck
All because stupid me had to fall in love
This constant ache in my chest
What will take it away? I can't even guess
I just wish you would do something to make me fall out of love
So that the ******* pain would stop.

I just want to hold you close
I want your skin on mine all of the time
Our hands that are perfect in size
The height of yours that makes you perfect for me to kiss
You had to be made for me
So why won't this dilemma end?

You've been so distant lately
It makes me want to ******* die
Because I know you're trying to make sure you're not leading me on
Well, too late, love--I already delude myself every day.
You're slowly killing me
Simply from this growing space
All I want is to put that perfect smile back on your face.
Be my best friend again.
It doesn't matter how many times I break,
You know it will always be the same.

If I have to keep dying, if I have to leave or stay
Whatever it takes, love
I just want this dilemma to go away.
I would wait forever if I could
I might be stuck either way
Because no matter what
I can't get these feelings to dissipate.

Do you see my dilemma?
I just want to love you, make sure you're protected
I want to lock your heart away in a golden box,
So no one will ever hurt you again
You're everything and nothing, to me, my dear
Oh, why won't this dilemma go away?

No matter how many times you break me
I'll keep crawling back to you
I'll even apologize for something I can't explain
Because despite everything, no matter how hard I try
You're like a disease, I can't get you out of my brain

No matter how many times you **** me from the inside out
I'll keep running back to you
Because tortured life with you around
Is far better than a life without
Despite my protests to the contrary,
When you're not here I become incredibly weak
Why do you do this to me?

No matter how many times I die for you
No matter how many times I self-crucify
I know you won't care,
You won't bat an eye
You'll frown and say, "It's not like I'm trying to hurt you,"
When you know exactly what it is that makes me die a little more every day

I can't even enjoy others
Because the thought of you with someone else makes me sick to my stomach
I hate how much it hurts
Because no matter how many times you destroy my carefully constructed walls
I will always return to you.

I knew it was love
When I stopped caring about myself
And all I saw was you.
The world stopped spinning,
The planets all aligned,
And all I saw was you.

It was then, I think,
I died a little.
You feel nothing of the like for me
I know this, it's true
The stars shine, not for me, but for you
It was then,
I died a little.

When our messages became curt and short
When you became distracted by everyone else
I think I died a little.

I missed you more than my own vitality
I hurt more when she hurt you
I don't know what's wrong
All I know is,
I think I died a little.

I hope someday we can speak of this
I hope you will see how our souls are tied
Because I will, eventually, need you to know
Just how many times, for you,
I died.

There are moments when I cannot let anyone see beneath my surface,
For what would they say if they knew how deep these waters go?

My smiles are light and airy, full of hope for tomorrow
But how much, about me, do you really know?
Do you see the stillness in my eyes, when she says the things that cause hurricanes below?

You may not notice, but that's the point.
No one should know how my waters run far too deep.
There are far happier people, who live normal lives
What must it be like?

How would it feel to want to live to see tomorrow, willingly, every day, for the rest of my life?
Would my eyes be a little brighter?
Would my gaze find love wherever it chose to roam?
I know not, I may never will--
For these waters run deep.

Pools of sadness that bleed for several leagues each
You cannot escape once you lose sight of the waves
The light can only reach so far, my dear,
Beyond that, it's just my demons and me.

Deep waters don't always run still
This, you will know
If you ever decide to take the leap,
Dare to peer into my dreams,
And discover what lies within my deep.

Thoughts as dark as ebony, urges to hurt the skin that covers me
You know not what lies beneath.
The hatred that fills my lungs as I gaze into a mirror
The hurt at my own innermost thoughts
"You're not ever good enough"
You have no idea how hard it is to shut them out.

I sequester myself away, struggling to stay afloat
But you have no clue how much effort it takes
For me to keep going, day to day.
I sometimes wish someone else knew that my waters run deep
I sometimes wish you knew how deep my love was for you
But then, dear,
I'd be afraid that you would drown.

For, if there is one thing of which I am certain,
It's that I will die a thousand deaths in my own mind
Before I let anyone (least of all you)
Know the extent of my dark.

Sometimes I feel like I'm just frozen in space,
Stuck in the fabric of time
Without a purpose, simply static
Not quite floating,
Not actively moving but not stopping either
Hurtling through the stars,
Simply dancing in the dark.

I don't act, I don't try;
I just find myself in the sky
Waiting for you to come, though you never do.
Give me a reason to stay, to leave,
Something to hint that we should be complete
I just want to stop being alone,
Stuck here,
Dancing in the dark.

It's such a shame to be alone
Here among this beauty that I can't appreciate
My mind won't stop focusing on you,
And your inability to reciprocate
So I will remain,
Swirling in this nebula of stars,
Dancing alone in the dark.

You don't want me here
But you can do nothing to stop me
So we're at an impasse, love--
Unable to continue, unable to desist
I just want you to end up in my arms,
But you know this will never work
So I'm frozen here
Forever in love, forever broken
Simply listening to your voice as it shatters the silence,
While we're dancing in the dark.

The sky is lit with a million stars
The void is painted with their light
Space screams with everything left unsaid
For I will, here, remain,
Crying into the nothingness as I am spent
I don't want to keep dancing in the dark.

Stop shutting me out.
You may think you hide it so well,
But I see you, love.
I may be blind in the daylight,
But I hear you loud and clear
You think you wear that mask with such aplomb
But I know you're really a ticking bomb
You're just like me, love
We may hear different tunes, we may not feel the same drums
But you are here too, dancing in the dark.

We're not so different after all.
I don't wanna cry after you,
But I know I will.
Here among the dying stars,
As the sun begins to overtake the sky
I'll keep dancing in the dark until the very end,
Until there's nothing, of me, that's left.
For, after all,
It was you that sent me spiraling into the night,
Awaiting death,
As I danced in the dark for you.

Do you see them, love?
All of these small, pretty things?
Drops of crimson upon white
They float away from me, proof of my blight—
Do you see it now, love?
The blooms that have taken hold in me,
The roots that cramp my chest,
They leave little room for much else, love—
For in the end, love,
These blooms were for you.
The pain they caused,
The havoc they reaped,
Every last petal drips for you.
Do you see it now, love?
The stolen glances,
The soft caresses,
The smiles that were only for you?
I hope you see it now, love
And choke on it as hard as I have for you.
They have taken hold and they are not going to leave
These soft blooms that will inevitably spell my doom
I wish you could have seen it sooner, love—
For these petals I bleed, I bleed them all for you.
The blooms have taken over, now,
There’s really nothing left to do
Wait and watch in horror and aghast
As my lungs are drained of life
The thorns pierce my heart and veins, love—
Yes, there’s nothing here for you
Except to weep for all of the things you couldn’t see
But now, with death, you do.
A glorious cascade of beauty falls around me
Shades of red cover my face
Petals float among the spots in my vision
You cry in the unearthly still
As the heartbreak disease finds its purpose finally fulfilled.