Waiting. Wanting. Hoping. Believing.
I tell myself she'll come through, just keep waiting
We'll be together soon.
But the days go by, and the weeks, then the months
Panic sets in.
Am I doing something wrong, or am I just not doing anything at all?
Talk to me, please, please, give me a sign
Do you even care or am I just wasting my time?
I've tried to be sincere, I've tried to be kind
But what, what, is the key to your mind.
Maybe I'm crazy, or maybe I'm just not thinking things through
Though, one things for certain
I'm not giving up on you.

I write in fragments,
Becoming more stagnant
'Til I write nothing at all.

And so I falter:
Stammer, stutter, stumble.
Mumble. As my words crumble.

These notebooks I've filled?
Toss them. Tear pages out.
Destroy it; fury unbound.

Let's dissect the hate.
I'd hate to disappoint.
Disappointment? I digress.

You always wanted me to
write a poem for you
You'd be surprised to find out
that thoughts of you are
in the form
of only the most intricate forms of
poetry
I align your flaws and quirks into
the finest haikus
Five syllables about how your smile brightens up
a rainy day
Seven syllables about how that freckle on your cheek
makes me weak
Five syllables about how I never liked brown eyes
until you came along

2:19 am
The only noise is coming from his boots
Meeting the laminate wood floors.
I should be sleeping, but I cant help but
Notice the frustration in his steps.
Another long night at work?
My mother's voice cracks as she pleads him
To come to bed.
Her footsteps are only a whisper as she walks
Back to their room, alone.

2:23 am
The sound of a beer bottle opening
Echoes in my mind.
It made me nervous how he found
More comfort in a drink
Than in her arms.

2:33 am
I remember how he said I take after my mother.
And it stings to think I could spend
My whole life with someone
Who could hardly stand me
And call it happiness.

Your mind is like an ocean
that I want to spend all my time
exploring

Your mind is like the sun
I think of your thoughts in the same way
I think of rays
They spread
from you to me

Your mind is like a tree in the autumn
Thoughts scattered all over your brain
the same way leaves are scattered
around my front yard

Your mind is like that puzzle I can't seem to solve
and I think I might like that
The fun in you is that there's always
something new to understand

Your mind is like that new album I have on replay
because no matter what I do
I always seem to replay pieces of you
in my mind
over and over again

You find the reason to everything and anything because
it makes you feel safe, but I
--can't kiss you without you
wanting to tell me that
my eyelids flutter because my eyes
get dry and they need to protect themselves from all the
pathogenic **** that flutters around me but I'm
really just trying to get a better look at you,

why don’t you let me look at you.

Then I begin to cry and you say why tears are tears,
and that you wanted a “simple life” with me  but
youre too busy identifying the complexity of things
that you can’t even feel because they lay within your heart, not your hands.

I’m right in front of you but your
voice begins to raise and you speak the science of presence
and you tell me that i’m your soulmate because your subconscious doesn't always feel so alone when i’m standing right beside
you and that you need me to survive but you
can't always kiss me because you’re too busy saying that the reason why
I think you taste good
when you kiss me is because
we meant are for each other.

While I’m in your arms you begin to analyze
my paragraph of life and how
it fits so perfectly beneath yours.
But then you rearrange your words
and place some in between mine
and then I realize I’m the just the loosely placed parenthesis around your
syntax of life.