Would it tear you apart to know that I was clean for so long.
Would it tear you apart to know that the the number is back to zero.
Would it hurt if I told you how you woke up those monsters inside my head that all steer me towards steep cliffs of insanity.
Would it hurt you to know that I stepped off.
Would you cry knowing that you choosing her broke me.
Would you cry if you saw my shattered bones spelled your name.


No I don't think it would.
My screams are not silent, they are carved into my body, they erupt from my eyes but baby you never were one to notice how my heart bled for you.
Our love was a metaphor written in a language you didn't understand.





maybe you need to learn to read.

it's okay really,
it's okay that you can't commit
it's okay that it's been awhile since somebody wanted me
and it's okay if you decide you don't want to save me from these waves of loneliness that seem to have crashed over my head.
it's okay if you don't like to swim
I'll tell you that I'm easy, that it's okay if you don't want to kiss me goodbye, or hold my hand,
that I don't want you to.
and I'll tell myself it's okay to lie.
it's okay if you don't want to drink a glass of the sad songs  my broken heart will pour out for you.
it's okay.
it's okay.
it's okay really,
I'm not broken, just lonely.

I'm falling again into the winter sky.
Those pretty scars float on snowflakes .
Help me, this
white glitter is stained red.
Oh look the grey clouds
are dropping nightmares.
How wonderful, these rooms and closing in.
All of this snow is building up and up
around the windows.
Oh baby look the sun had left us, my happy heart in hand.