I try to convince myself someday things
will return to the way they were when we were close
or something more,maybe hinges and doors
that you will remember how sweet our conversations were
and revert to the sweet girl you were from the stranger you are
sometimes I think someday you'll get less busy
call me up,talk and laugh because it used to be that easy
I look at the clock thinking I might develop some powers
to rewind to the days you meant everything to me and
I meant something to you, even if it's just for hours
sometimes I miss the feel of your palm in my hand
I miss the many times you said no matter what
you would never be too busy to remember me
maybe you meant something else or forgot
I try to believe that you recall everything you said
because you gave me your word, that even if you were dead
we would always matter but I doubt you recall the latter
there are days I go through our messages, the comments
sadly laughing for what were beautiful moments are torments
tempting me to block you so that I forget it all
but I doubt that would erase you from my soul
hard was my fall, I fell for your promises even when I knew they were just camouflaged
gravel that would shatter my existence into smithereens
sometimes I wish I could rob back the heart you stole
or experience amnesia and forget our teenage dreams
but then I wonder if I erased that part of us
what would I say mattered in my accountability for my time on Earth?
I try to think that somehow you still see my like on your photographs
amidst the hundreds you receive like you did when you only had two
a part of me says you see my comments in that traffic
of fans that you now have lining up and cheering your milestones
and a day will come when you will say you did
but you couldn't reply to mine and ignore the hundreds
I tell myself that you still care no matter the deed
that after all how would you have known where the road would lead
while I recite the lines of your reassurance like some creed
but then some lines now sound so artificial and fake
I keep imploring myself not to be moved, not to shake
because someday you will honour your "till the end"
and whilst I count, I place you as my paramount friend
but do you ever think about me while you enjoy your new look?
I'm I still an important character in your book?
do you still watch the stars and whom are you doing it with?
Are the rumours true, that you've resorted to doing ****?
Do you still read and pray prior going to bed?
Do you think about me if not, who's in your head?
It's none of my business for life has given me a sanction
but I hope ours wasn't just a crossroad but a junction
and even if you're far out of sight we're still pals
that's what you'll forever be to me,more precious than pearls