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I have been having
nightmares                        
about your eyes
maybe ...      
it is because I'll
     never                          
see them again.
 Apr 2017 Me Hgrub
Sarah
Angel.
 Apr 2017 Me Hgrub
Sarah
The radiant sun beating down on your porcelain skin cannot warm the coldness of your heart.

You're a dream, your face is a masterpiece and your eyes hold unlimited universes but the words that grace your blossom lips are venom.

They sink into my flesh like fangs and I'm wounded. Your presence is captivating and I'm haunted when you're not around but it's a heavy feeling.

You're unkind, spiteful and deceptive, a thesaurus cannot fully label the horrid personality you created for yourself. You were blessed with an angels face but you sinned my life with a devilish grin and the words that lured me in.
Written 4/18/17
 Apr 2017 Me Hgrub
John Updike
She must have been kicked unseen or brushed by a car.
Too young to know much, she was beginning to learn
To use the newspapers spread on the kitchen floor
And to win, wetting there, the words, "Good dog! Good dog!"

We thought her shy malaise was a shot reaction.
The autopsy disclosed a rupture in her liver.
As we teased her with play, blood was filling her skin
And her heart was learning to lie down forever.

Monday morning, as the children were noisily fed
And sent to school, she crawled beneath the youngest's bed.
We found her twisted and limp but still alive.
In the car to the vet's, on my lap, she tried

To bite my hand and died. I stroked her warm fur
And my wife called in a voice imperious with tears.
Though surrounded by love that would have upheld her,
Nevertheless she sank and, stiffening, disappeared.

Back home, we found that in the night her frame,
Drawing near to dissolution, had endured the shame
Of diarrhoea and had dragged across the floor
To a newspaper carelessly left there.  Good dog.
little dark girl with
kind eyes
when it comes time to
use the knife
I won't flinch and
i won't blame
you,
as I drive along the shore alone
as the palms wave,
the ugly heavy palms,
as the living does not arrive
as the dead do not leave,
i won't blame you,
instead
i will remember the kisses
our lips raw with love
and how you gave me
everything you had
and how I
offered you what was left of
me,
and I will remember your small room
the feel of you
the light in the window
your records
your books
our morning coffee
our noons our nights
our bodies spilled together
sleeping
the tiny flowing currents
immediate and forever
your leg my leg
your arm my arm
your smile and the warmth
of you
who made me laugh
again.
little dark girl with kind eyes
you have no
knife. the knife is
mine and i won't use it
yet.
 Apr 2017 Me Hgrub
Elliott
Bipolar
 Apr 2017 Me Hgrub
Elliott
Flick. Lights off. You hate me, I've ruined your life. You wish id never been born, you wish i'd just have died.

Flick. Lights on. You love me, You want a second chance. You want to be my mother , we can do this again.

Flick. Lights off. You're in the dark once more. I hide behind the walls of my room, scream and lock door.

Flick. Lights on. I've stop trusting the lights, they deceive me. Even when the lights are on...ARE THEY EVER REALLY ON?!

I can't trust the lights. So I go mad in the dark. Living in a house in a room full of lies.

There's no escape from the darkness, especially when i close my eyes...
 Apr 2017 Me Hgrub
Elliott
The Cup
 Apr 2017 Me Hgrub
Elliott
Fill it up. My dreams, aspirations. I hope.
One day they'll be true, I give it to you.
This cup filled with my future.

Pour it out. My anxiety, my fear.
I bear it all here. For you my dear.
My cup is empty.

My heart is true this cup is for you.
My hopes and my fears they all disappear
When i am with you.
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