Hold me in your arms
Let me feel again
Fill the void in my body
I wanna feel like I did back then

I am lost not to be found  
An ethereal being in the wind
We were oblivion bound
Lets go back before we sinned

I terribly wish I could express my love
For you, without breaking my neck
I try to hold back the tears as they run
Down my cheeks and I choke upon
Every tear that expresses how I feel
So strongly for you even after the years
Yet I still bite my tongue and listen to
The songs that remind me of the times
That we so courageously loved one another
Regardless of the struggles we had faced
And still today I effortlessly try to hold
Back all the feelings that linger in my heart
While fear reminds me I cannot say
A word that dances upon my tongue
About the way I move with the sound
Of the mellifluous voice of which you posses
It will seemingly be a strain in my throat
A weight upon every cell of my being
Until I can turn back after restlessly running
Away from the only happiness I’ve known
The very truth I once lived in the past

What's happening to you?
Your face blushes
making red roses jealous of your hue

What's happening to you?
You start shaking like a leaf in autumn
weightless and easily moved

What's happening to you?
You never look him in the eye
for fear of being to obvious

What's happening to you?
A single hello makes you curl
like a shy teenager on the verge of experiencing
"emotions"

What's happening to you?
Your old enough to have mastered such things
Your the maestro of your own heartbeats
but there's something different

What's happening to you?
Your shell has hardened enough
to be affected by butterflies
inside and all around

What's happening to you?
are
you
feeling
again?

I was told today to drop dead
to go away because I am annoying
I went home, shut my bedroom door
and immediately started crying
I've been told these words before
you think they would be easier to hear
Yet every time those words are said
I am consumed by my biggest fears
My emotional scars re-open
revealing a vulnerable part of me I try so hard to hide
I'm taken back to seven years ago
when my only thoughts were of suicide
I don't mean to be annoying
I can't help who I am
I'm sorry I'm not good enough
but there is no way you will forgive me is there?
This is what happens when you care so much
you tend to get hurt
This is why I build up walls
because humans are the worst
So I sit here writing this poem
on my cold bathroom floor
Letting my tears fall down my face
as I try to mend my heart that you just broke