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Elise Sep 2013
Forever.
I want to keep you that long,
                 until the day I die.
Elise Sep 2013
When your words cease nightly,
I lose sleep craving them.
10w
Elise Sep 2013
It's cold,
the blankets aren't enough.
You stir, your hand strokes
my arm.
Chills run through me,
I take you in my arms;
no intention of letting go.
Elise Jun 2013
Where are you tonight?
asleep under the bright stars.
alive in my dreams.
Elise Sep 2013
no sleep at night
      with you breathing
slowly by my side,

I have to leave the bed
      to control myself and
steady the thoughts in my head.

5:32 a.m; walk outside
      to the mist consumed
field,

thinking i'm alone,
      you sneak up behind me,
taking my hand;
      our fingers now sealed.

your hair catches in the breeze,
      my face brushed with your scent,
everything your presence brings
      puts me at ease.

your hand moving up,
      you pull my face in,
my lips on yours;

      first kiss with this dawn's
      mist as our only witness.
Elise Jul 2013
The way you disappear
scares me half to death
because it is not just from
me, I know that for sure.

You lose yourself completely,
you go blank, idle, nothing.
I wish that I could make the
numb drain from every inch
of your being and fill in the holes
with sunshine because that is what
you like.

*sunshine and saltwater
Elise Sep 2013
I met you outside
on a cold autumn day; your
gaze kept me warm, love.
Elise Jun 2013
happiness is found
in your snarky remarks and
your candied sweetness
Elise Jul 2015
I met you when the night was in your eyes
it never seemed to leave, i noticed, only subside.
I told you our love making was like the ocean tide
coming up to shore but falling back and leaving
droplets on sand like tears because even the ocean
cries though the moon shines bright illuminating
its present company at night.

I watched you crumble as I grew to love you
grasping at the empty air wishing that I could
only be there to hold you up when your knees
gave way and made you fall but even in my
absence you knew I would be there to answer
your call and you knew I had no intention
of abandoning your side at all.

I told my heart to beat faster for you,
to grow stronger for you,
to work longer for you.
I taught myself to find comfort in the dark so
that within your darkness I would again
discover the beauty of light.  Maybe the ocean
has a moon but my gravity has not kept me
centered and the arrow on my compass only
points to you and I know I should be walking
but I've found myself running head first toward you:
my moon, my ocean, my shore.
Elise Sep 2013
Your eyes scream 'help me'
so I come to you.
10w
Elise Sep 2013
left alone for good,
I'll cry myself to sleep now,
you've left me hopeless.
Elise Jun 2013
You are the thunder;
the lightening that lights up my
darkest night. The storm.
Elise Jul 2013
She told me I could wake her
if I had a nightmare.
She said that she would hold me
until I fell again.
I love her. I always will.
That's all in the past now.
Elise Jul 2013
I surround myself with the
craziest ladies this world has
ever come to know.
Where would the fun in life be
if I didn't?

*the crazy feeds my soul
Elise Jun 2014
When I look out
at the ocean
and see her light
glimmering off
it's blackened surface
I think to myself
how silly I was to
ever want to sink
into the darkness
and let my life escape.

Instead I should
drink each drop
so that her light
can flow through
my veins and
cleanse my heart;
I swear it beats
only for her, only for her.

And maybe then
she will see what
I've done and forgive
me for leaving her
and collide with the sun
so that both souls may
escape from the bodies
that have imprisoned
them and kept them
apart and that they may
finally find one another
and rest together selfishly
as the world is left in darkness
but their love forever glows.
Elise Jul 2013
I want to feel broken,
broken by you.
Not because you're not
mine, but because you are
mine. In the
middle of a huge fight.
Screaming, slamming doors,
chasing after each other
fighting. Fighting so long
and so hard that we no
longer remember the reason
for starting the fight. Or
who started the fight. I
want to hurt because of that.
And then, amidst all the fighting,
we do realize that we don't remember
why the fight began, and we look
at each other, we pause, and
we laugh. We laugh because
we know how crazy we are being,
we know that whatever it was that
we were fighting about isn't worth it.

*I wanna hurt because we love each other,
not because we don't.
Elise Jul 2013
When all of my words
are stuck inside,
I wish my tears could write
the poems that long to be free.

If they could be the ink
to my paper,
maybe my mind wouldn't
be so ready to sink.
Elise Sep 2013
It's just me and her,
how funny,
what a joke,
sticking by your side
to get the **** end of the stick.
How uncomfortable,
have you told her this?
Have you told her that
I'm the one who wants
more than this friendship?
What a joke,
what a ******* joke.
Elise Nov 2013
So that my soul may burn bright like the sun,
eternally revolving in its orbit,
sharing its warmth with everyone its light does touch,
I open my heart and my mind without reason,
except that the love that exists in the universe may only be
created by those who embrace all that comes with it,
and I let in the pain so that I can share the love that I learn.

*Let me be the match to your gasoline-soaked soul.
Elise Jul 2013
You came to see me
on a unplanned visit
so I took you to the only
interesting place I could
think of.

I dragged you through subways,
and crowds of interesting people,
to get to our destination,
our final stop in the Brooklyn station.

You doubted my directions,
as I had only gone once before,
but you trusted me enough
to get you to the right store.

You looked at me as we walked in,
doubting me once more,
it was a place full of junk,
you must've thought that I was drunk.

You stepped in through the door,
and right on the floor,
you found an old typewriter
that you wanted forevermore.

Your eyes, they lit up
like none I had ever seen,
as you began to press each key,
and your smile, it gleamed.

At that moment in time,
I knew I had done well,
as you took right off
like you were under a spell.

You ran though the aisles,
taking in each thing,
seeing the beauty behind
the dust and water rings.

You picked up the glassware,
each little piece,
you told me you loved them,
your excitement didn't cease.

We looked through the art,
and the old records too,
you pulled out a few,
and I had out some Motown for you.

It was the perfect day,
that one random trip,
the day that changed it,
the day I made the slip.

I let myself fall
so hard and so fast,
I forgot that china dolls,
are made of such fragile glass.
Elise Jul 2013
Tears are falling from your eyes
but I choose not to wipe them away
and instead I let them stay.

selfish

Alone in your bed
with thoughts of harsh words that she said,
I choose not to listen
because I have fled and have left you astray.

selfish

Your heart, it is aching,
sharp knives, the pain from it's breaking
but I choose to not comfort you
from this trouble you are taking.

selfish

*but I do love you, and that may be the most selfish thing of all
Elise Jul 2013
I haven't left the bed yet,
I'm too comfortable for my own good,
so I'll just roll over and turn the pages
of this very good book.
Elise Jul 2013
I am scared.
I cannot escape this nightmare
that you have created. Why is
it following me everywhere I
go? Why can't you just be gone.
Why did you have to exist at all?
All you did was **** me up in the
head. I was forever changed by
what you did to me, by what no
one did to fix it. No one tried to
make it better. No one cared enough
to make you go away. No one locked
you up. No one threw you out. You
were allowed to stay. In the place
that I am supposed to feel the
safest, the house of God. You were
allowed to stay. Even though you
****** me up. They call that religion?
They think they can point fingers at
me because I lost most of my faith?
Is it religious to let someone take a piece
of your soul, to violate them and not
be reprimanded? That is what you call
religion? Do you think He would look
down upon you and praise you for that?
Do you think He would blame me for
turning my back on the church when the
church was supposed to be there for me?
I do not think He will think any less of me
for the decisions I have made based upon
what has been allowed by His church to
happen. I think, when my time comes and
my days on Earth are completed, that He
will not only open his golden gates for me,
but also joyously welcome me with open
arms and His loving embrace.
Elise Jul 2013
All my leaves are falling off of my branches,
covering the cold ground below,
coating it with a warm blanket,
leaving me bare-*****.

It's not because the seasons changed,
no, it was my own doing.
Didn't you know that when trees are sad
they shed their leaves like tears from a baby?
My leaves haven't changed color,
they won't be golden like the sun,
they just fall, fall, fall,
hitting the ground one after one.

Like tears, they too will dry up,
but they won't just disappear,
they will turn brown and crack
and be eaten by the deer.

So I weep and I weep and I watch
as my coat slips softly to the ground,
because I am a tree
and trees cannot have lovers bound.
Elise Jun 2014
I can't lose her,
not this one,
not this time.
She is everything I've waited for,
she fits perfectly in my life.
I can't think of it,
I'm begging her not to hide,
she's making me lose my mind,
did I lose my mind?
Did I? No.
Did I? No.
Did I lose my mind? "NO."
I tell myself as I remember all
the times my grandpa said he
knew a shortcut and it took us
twice as long to get where we
were going.
I want her to meet him one day
just so I can turn to him and say,
"hey grandpa, this is my girlfriend."
And if he falls of his chair so be it,
cuz I know my grandma will be
looking down at me smiling,
happy to see just how happy she makes me.
My grandma she will never get to meet,
the one woman who was so important to me,
but she will know how much she meant,
she already knows, and she will find pieces
of her in every other person in my family,
she'll find in them just where I got my crazy.
I'll just have to remind her that no matter
how long it took us, my grandpa always
got us to our destination,
and I promise myself that her and I,
we will most definitely get to mine.
There is no doubt in my mind that she is
the one I want in my life.
Elise Jun 2013
These bones of mine are
not as weak as I make them
out to be. I am.

I am weak for thought.
I am not. I am stronger
than I had presumed.

These bones of mine. They
hold this weight. Carry it with
them on their journey.

I am not. My thoughts.
Thoughts of you. My love. Your pain.
These bones carry you.

Your thoughts. They haunt you.
Your thoughts. They haunt me. My bones.
They carry your thoughts.

Your bones, my lovely.
No worries. I carry your
pain. I carry mine.

You are not weakness.
I am not weakness. We are
strength. These bones are ours.
Elise Mar 2014
When I concentrate
the ache goes away
and I am beautiful
with my ribs hiding
under this flesh
the extra body heat
that is so unnecessary
and I know the mirror
tells me lies and its
my brain that tells
me otherwise but the
act of resistance is
an addiction;
to deprive myself
is an obsession I
can't break I can't  
heal it's a disease its
a paradox, like me,
nonsensical, there is
no substance to it
only absence, no
release, there is no
relief.  The  voices in
my head are screaming
at me to not give up
to stay away to keep
my distance.  The more
I resist, the more
beautiful I become.
Does it tire me out?
Does it keep me alive?
I persuade myself to
believe that I will not
lose myself resisting
but then I am empty
and I feel the dark
engulf my soul that
fades away and my
mind begins to fight
with me, myself, and I
and then I realize that
I love the way I hate
myself not that I am
loving myself because
I have lost myself
I lost my way and
before I heal the fear
creeps in and hysteria
takes its toll and there
is pain everywhere and
I become completely
dark so that the light
can sneak back in and
light up my sky once again.
But I know the ache
always makes a reappearance..
Elise Sep 2013
Instability we share,
we are both very familiar
with the feeling that it brings,
you know i'm here for the long run,
whether we are both unstable or not,
I won't give up on you,
i'll never leave your side,
tell me all your troubles,
and we'll leave them all behind.
Elise Jun 2013
Guilty of loving
you, but i'm not sorry. What
I would give for that.

Not for your love, but
for anyone to love me
like that. Anything.

I would give it all.
For you. For me. Love.
I want the world, love.
Elise Jul 2013
What's really ****** up is that
you know how you have been
treating me and now you just
are not going to talk to me because
running is obviously the only option.

What's really sad is you know
that you feel this way too,
you know that I would actually
be there, unlike everyone else.

Why are you so scared to let someone
actually see you for who you are?


I don't even think I want it anymore.
I don't even know if it is worth it.
Elise Jun 2013
I adore every single one of you.
Your words are brilliant and you make me smile and you make me cry.
Keep writing.
Elise Oct 2013
This lost soul longs to escape
this seemingly unfamiliar body.
10w
Elise Jul 2013
Tonight we talked
about the stars and
the heavens and the
future.

My future. You wanted
to know. You asked me
to tell you more.

I told you everything I
want. You don't know it,
but I know that's what you
want too.

The stars aligned, and we
were brought together,
and I think you are
realizing that now.

I think you're thinking,
*'This looks a lot like fate.'
Elise Sep 2013
Flowers scattered
upon thick grass,
rose petals laid for
those who rest.
i really like dark things and i never write about death or the darkness that i keep inside so i am going to try to start getting some of it out and using it to my advantage.
Elise Aug 2013
I don't know what is right,
I don't know what is wrong,
how much should I fight,
should I stretch it out long?

You left me here,
out on this limb,
all full of fear,
my walls are closing in.

Do you want me to fight,
is that what you need,
because I will with all my might,
or will you pay me no heed?
Elise Nov 2013
"I love you too.  I'll miss you.  We'll talk soon."
10w
Elise Oct 2013
The distance between sun and moon,
forever chasing each other,
never catching up,
running in circles,
light to dark,
that's our love,
it's never enough.
But unlike heavenly bodies,
I've grown tired,
I'm giving up.
Elise Sep 2013
These girls I have,
they keep me strong,
they're always there when I come back,
no matter how long I am gone.
Forever and always,
I can see it now,
we will never betray each other,
our love wouldn't allow,
it took a lot of trust for us
to get to where we are,
but we are still here,
together somehow.
Elise Oct 2013
...and I love you so much,
I want to keep you safe,
your words are protected with me,
no harm will come your way,
and if it does we will battle each demon,
together we will fight them down,
our hands may get ******,
we may gain some scars,
but at the end of the day
we will be the ones on top,
i'll kiss yours, you'll kiss mine,
battle scars of silver lines,
history in flesh of our own battles,
together in our passion filled life.
Elise Jul 2013
I have no idea what tomorrow will bring,
but I know that I must tell you how I
feel before it's too late, before you
choose someone else without even
thinking of me in consideration.

I knew this fear had a reason for building
itself back up, I knew my nerves were not
for nothing, so now I must act, I must tell you.

There is no moment like the present, and
I cannot sit back and watch someone else
steal you away again. At least not without
you knowing what you mean to me.

I am scared. I am finally scared as hell.
This better be worth it. I don't want to
find the pain again. I don't want my
soul to escape me.
Elise Jul 2013
You can tell me all you want
that this is really my life,
that I was blessed with such wonderful people
that I would defend to the death,
you can tell me all you want but I will
still find it hard to believe.

I promise you it has nothing to do with the fame,
nothing to do with the spotlights,
nothing to do with the names.

You can tell me this is my life,
but I will always be in this fog,
because if it were all for the fame would
I care to see their true colors? No matter how
dark they may become? Because I find it beautiful,
raw, and I don't think that would come with a self-centered
fame *****.

Yes, I want to change the world.
No, I don't need any form of fame.

You can tell me the rest of my life
that this is my actual reality,
but I will always say that it is too good to be true.
I love you and everyone you have brought into my life. Never give up on your dreams, your clothes, your life. Tell Stef xo from me. Hugs and kisses.
Elise Sep 2013
The coffin closes
on memories
left from lovers
words unsaid.
10w
Elise Sep 2013
I can't move,
I can't breathe,
stop staring,
every person in the room,
staring, glaring.
Heat surges through my veins,
from my ears straight to my toes,
heart is racing,
sweat beading,
staring, glaring.
I can't speak,
I can't see,
stop staring,
i'm shrinking,
I want to disappear,
why can't I disappear?
Staring, glaring.
I can't run,
i'm locked in this cage,
my mind's a mess,
tearing me apart,
why are they staring,
why are they glaring?
Elise Jun 2013
You truly loved me
Everyone knew it was true
You can't deny it.

I knew it when you
Said my name. You knew it too.
You stopped saying it.

I knew it when you
Held my hand. You knew it too.
You let go of it.

I knew it when you
Pulled me close. You knew it too.
You pushed me away.

I knew it when you
Kissed me twice. You knew it too.
'It never happened.'

You were afraid, love.
I would have kept you safe, love.
You were all mine, love.

You truly loved me.
I truly love you. My heart
Is yours forever.
Elise Oct 2013
Bombs exploding in the dead of night,
skies burn with ash and red light,
my words burn a hole in your beating heart,
as I tell you I'll cause us to fall apart.

Saltwater reaching over scalded shores,
fire and water in never ending wars
extinguishing flames brought from anxious nerves,
you tell me you'll not leave me, it's what I deserve.
Elise Oct 2013
I never needed to touch her
to learn her soul.
10w
Elise Jul 2013
I want to tell you
that I love you at all times
of the day. Right now.

You deserve to know
how much you are truly loved.
I wish I could share.

It is on the tip
of my tongue. Those three words,
ready to be said.

I have to hold them
in. I long to share them. To
let you know. Three words.

I cannot stress this
enough. Maybe you do know.
I love you, pretty.
This may be deleted, i'm not happy with it.
Elise May 2015
Sitting here, I keep telling myself it is time to go.
Sitting here, I ask myself where I go from here.
Sitting here.  Still sitting.  Stuck.
Elise Apr 2015
If I can't find you in this lifetime,
I'll find you in another.
I'll wait for you forever,
you'll always be my lover.
Elise Aug 2015
When this week is finally over
my bones will crack under the pressure of your gaze
it feels i've been waiting my whole life for this, for you
i'm not sure my heart will survive the overwhelming joy
i want to hold onto this night forever, my sleep i've lost over you
the moments are passing so fast and so slow your voice ringing in my ears
our laughter always in sync my god i can't wait another day.
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