So, i've fell in love again.
Things are so different now.
I can't wait to see the adventures that will come to light.
with him.

I don't know what to write, truthfully. Maybe it's because i don't know how or what to feel, i don't know how to describe this hurt, this ache. I don't know how to express myself, how to scream it out that i need you. That you're my help.
Do i drink? drink until i fall in the toilet, exhausted from throwing up but still aching another taste of alcohol to replace the taste of you.
Do i smoke? smoke until i my eyes are blood red to make everyone believe that it is the high but in reality it's the tears that i refuse to release.
Do i lay in his bed? half naked, *****, and trying to take your touch away, replace it with his, hoping i wouldn't feel you anymore.
What do i do? please tell me. You act as if you have all the answers so tell me, how do i find myself after you? how do i erase the mistakes i've made?

A lost mind,
Heart unknown and unkind.
You wonder why I’m close to darkness,
Almost as dark as the darkest parts
Of the moon.
You wonder why I say I need you,
Why I won’t follow my head
And walk away.
You tell me why should I?
Why can’t I free you?
Why can’t I free me?
Why can’t we be free?
Free from the shackles of pain
And free from the shackles of society.
But you tell me,
What is being free?

I need someone to talk to, someone that i don't have to stop in the middle of the sentence just so they could put their input, someone that won't tell me i'm wrong for what i say, i need to talk to someone that will show me they care but not close up when they've realized that they're showing their true feelings. I want to tell them about how angry i am, i am angry because even though i felt no such thing for him, you left. You left me to wipe my own tears and deal with the voices in my head alone, you left me with the biggest piece of y heart and i don't know how to deal with that, i look at your careless texts in anger, so full of it that i refuse to let my tears out, so full of it that i refuse to go to sleep at night, so full of it that i scream into my pillows at night but it still feels like i'm full of a fiery rage that i can no longer control.
I want to tell them that inside, i am feeling a deep sorrow in my heart caused by the loss of you. No, you are not dead, you've just left, left to fix her heart and leave mine in the dust. "I want you to feel how i felt" "You're mad because i am gonna pull a you on you" what? how are you going to do that if the feelings that you felt were not from me. I did not put those feelings in your heart, in your mind. You over working, you over thinking, you over feeling made you suffer for no reason at all. Because i love you, i truly love you. I love your brown eyes and the fact that you cannot hide what you feel inside because i can always see and feel your emotions through them. I love your lips, they're never cold and the kisses you give melt the ice around my heart, this is something i will never feel again.
I want to tell them that i am in love and i wish they could tell you over and over that i am in love with you Isabella.

Blurry

Things were so blurry

My heart pumped and skipped

And my fingers shook

Things got dark around the edges

Of my eyes as i began not to see straight

It was almost as if i could

Should just reach and wrap my fingers around her neck

Full of anger i was

Till i silently walked

Alone with everyone around me

Thinking in my head

I shall not harm to satisfy.

I shall not let the devil win.

I know you're lost ,
And i know you've ran out of hope
But don't keep running.
Stop and breathe.
The world is turning
even when yours doesn't.
So don't get lost in the past,
Keep going, keep breathing.
You'll live.
You'll make it.
You'll win.

I remember another life,
I remember different eyes,
I remember different thoughts,
And a head that could not be escaped.

I remember a loss, and one more.
I remember the falling tears of glass
as it hit the floor.

I remember feelings,
ones of never before.
Feelings for brown eyes
and a crooked smile.

I remember a different life,
A life with colors,
A life with feelings,
A life with black and white.

Mostly,
I remember life of me and you.

Dear You,
My mind is white, almost like a blank canvas waiting for one to paint such art on it. I do not know how to think, what to say, or how to even breathe. I've noticed the harshness of life pass directly through me and my blank reaction almost as if it was nothing, almost as if i've never been hurt.
This isn't a poem, but a letter to my parents telling them that yes i might be young but i know the feeling of numb, yes i might be young but i know what the want feels like when all you want to do is drown your sorrows in a drink, a smoke, a person.
This isn't a poem, but a letter to my family, telling them that what i've taken interest in, isn't wrong. This is not something that i've just learned from television or the thin air, this is my heart and the way i feel, i've figured i can love him the same way i could love her, forgetting their different looks and parts, they both work the same so why can't i love and treat them the same?
This isn't a poem but a letter to my first love saying that i know what intentions i have and i know the tender heart that lies inside of me for you. I know that you may not believe me or ever see me with you again but the love that i feel for you remain in every word i've written to you because only when i write, my real feelings come out.
This isn't a poem but a letter to my mind saying that it's okay to overthink but it's never okay to forget to breathe. You can't live without the adventures and the love you earned. You can't live without fights and hate, you can't live without crying and breaking. This all makes you, you. So why change it?
This is not a poem but a letter to my heart saying why are you acting as if you don't care? too afraid to come out of the shadows, too afraid to be hurt. Why are you acting as if you can't love and as if you cannot change the world and follow those dreams that move behind your closed lids.
This is a letter to them asking why worry about who to love so young? why not wait till it comes? and once it goes, why do you break? hurting and acting as if you won't make it today.
This is a letter to society wondering why do we have to fit a certain image to be beautiful? why shouldn't love win and hate die deep within? why shouldn't one race be the same as the other? and why when we try to change the world, to change the ways of life, we die?
This isn't a poem but a letter, a letter to you and your heart and mind. A letter to everyone who's thinks as they lie, their cries drifting off into the night.
This is a letter from someone full of hope and change.
--
Sincerely, Dom.

This is someone's reality.
a life with graffitied fences and barking dogs,
a life with music and dancing dolls.

A life full of police sirens and gunshots rang in the air,
a life where your color had rules and it wasn't fair.

A life of laughter and children playing in the play ground,
A life where hate wasn't around.

A life of protests against protests,
that's how life is.

A parent saying you and a brown one couldn't be friends.

Yet, you could cut me and i bleed, don't you bleed too?

Crying the tears that you've cried, this proving that we're the same.
Feeling that we both can love someone, shouldn't you see me as you?

But you are stuck on a stereotype you've seen on tv.
Too stuck to know that we are equal.
Too stuck to know that i bleed as do you.