Everything has been said
Everything has been documented to some extent
What is the point in changing when everything is all planned out?
Why can't there be a reset or delete in life for that one moment?
For that one time where I've acted out of character?

There never is any forgivness
Only constant reminders of what I have done.
What  will never lie down.
Who can live like this?
It is a crazy way to live.

Everything you do defines you they say
Do not slip up
Do not look at someone the wrong way.
Everything has a consequence
Everything has a reward.
For whom?
That is for you and I to figure out.

Only four years of this.
Only four years of the judging
Then it is off to a better place where all of it melts away
Where all the drama is left behind,
Waiting to be revisited in ten or twenty years.

Goodbye.
Hopefully for a long time
Because I am not going to the sequel.

It’s too much,
The world, the expectations.
It’s all too much.
How can you put this on a teenager
I’m still learning who I am in this world
And you put this on me as well?

Did I do something wrong for this to happen?
What can I do to fix this?
All of these stereotypes are not me,
So why are you trying to make me conform?
Why are you trying to turn me into the norm?

It’s all too much.
You expect me to do a lot of things
My life is only so long
I can only do so much
Don’t force to me to become a perfect human
Don’t force to me to be who I am not
It’s my life
And you’re making it too much to handle.

I need to figure it out on my own
Without any guidelines to hold me back.
I will reach my potential
All you need to do is allow me to succeed.
You may be surprised at what you see
You may actually be proud.

Just give me a chance
And I’ll prove to you that
I can create you’re too much,
Into a just right for me.

Goodbye is all that can be uttered
We all knew that if anything else was said then,
They would come
They would come and take away all that is good
For every light shining upon us,
There is a darkness that has not been noticed.

If any other word had a strong impact,
It would be said,
If there was any action that can be done,
It would happen.
Unfortunately,
Miracles are not the cure
Only time and healing.

Oh how I swore to never utter those words
Only time and healing is the cure,
I have never believed it,
Why should I tell a tale that is not true?
I should not bite my tongue
I should not be disgusted by my words.
But it has finally happened,
The world has broke me.

And for that I bid everyone a good day
A good afternoon
A good night
There is nothing left to say if lies remain true,
There is nothing left to say when no one speaks
There is nothing left to say to an empty room
Filled with people
With nothing original in their minds.

I’d rather write than speak
My pen is always responsive
My ink doesn’t judge my mistakes
My paper doesn’t argue
My lines never cross me
My sentences never disappoint
And my words will never leave me

I tend to hide
My mind screaming,
My thoughts buzzing,
But nothing escaping my mouth.
All of the questions,
Comments,
Are bottled up.
Never to be heard,
Never to be understood.
It's never one's fault
Sharing emotions is a norm,
It's more abnormal.
How I admire those that can.
The truth is so much easier to come out
When it's with people who understand
when it's with people who've gone through it as well.
Maybe tomorrow it will change.

You say you understand
You say you can relate
But when I come to you
Seeking advice
You're gone like the wind
one moment you're there
The next
You've disappeared,
Out in the wild
Right back to where you came from.
Why understand me
When you can't even be my support
I'm falling in an eternal wasteland
Never to be found,
Never to be rescued.
You say give it time to heal
But I have,
It's been years
And nothing happens.
Stop
Just stop
With the false hope,
With the lies,
With the sympathy
Because the truth is,
You don't understand
Nor do you want to.
Congratulations,
You've got what you wanted
My crushed hope,
My crushed spirit
Yet with all of this shown to you,
You still don't understand.
Sad
Yet true.