It's three am
The thought of your smile lingers in my head
It's four am
And you're asleep, while I'm up wishing you were here
It's five am
It's hard to fall asleep when you're the only thing I see
It's six am
I've slept zero minutes tonight, but that's okay
Tomorrow at 3am, it'll start again
But the thought of you is worth any second of lost sleep

Loud sounds
Coming from behind your door
I hear a scream
A scream that causes chills
Tingles
I go to your door
It's locked

She's screaming at you to leave
You shout back, calling her names
I want to help
I don't like hearing the sound of her crying because of you
You're the one who made her this way
Why are you trying to change her

There's a sound
A loud sound as if something hit the door
I want to open the door
I want to see what is going on
It's still locked

I hear the door unlock
I look up
My eyes blurry from tears I didn't know I was crying
I see your face
A tight, sad, anger filled line formed on your mouth
You walk past me
Leaving the door open for me to see what you had done
I see her laying on the floor
Bruised
Bleeding
But still alive

You beat her
You beat her as if she were a punching bag
You beat her as if she were your opponent and you were a boxer
She couldn't fight back
You were too strong

I hear the front door close
You left
You left me with her on the ground
You left her with me

I have to decide what to do
Do I stand here and stare at her
Do I run out the door after you because I can't lose you too
Or do I call the police
I want to run
I want to get so far away
But I don't want to be like you
I don't want to be a coward you runs from her problems
I want to be the hero

I call the police
By the time the police come the bleeding on her head stopped
Her busted lip and black eye still swollen
She's not dead
Yet
The ambulance takes her to the hospital where she is taken into surgery
Brain damage
Head trauma because of you and your hands

While they're helping her
I'm taken into questioning
I'm asked questions about you
Who did this
What happened
Why didn't you help her
I answer
I don't know
I don't know
I don't know
Please stop asking me questions

The hospital calls in the middle of the interview
She's dead
You killed her with your hands
But you also killed her with your words
She wouldn't have tried to run if you just let her be
You should have been nicer to her
She's dead
You're gone
And I'm alone

To my younger self,
You may feel like nothing is ever going to go well
You might even consider ending all the pain
But I promise you if you focus on what is coming
You'll be happy one day

It doesn't matter who likes you
Or who doesn't
All that matters is that you love yourself

You're maybe thinking, there's nothing to love
But once you almost lose your life
The person you see in the mirror every morning
Will soon be the girl you learn to cherish

You may feel like no one could ever love you
You're too weird, ugly or dumb
But you are worth fighting for
Someone will notice and love you for you

How do you expect someone
To love the girl they see
If the girl can't even love herself

How do you expect to love someone truly
If you cannot even begin the road
The road to loving who you are

Someday you'll be bullied
And wish life was like before
But there's no changing what is to come
You just have to face it
And remember, you are strong

So before you do something crazy
Like cut or take too many pills
Remember you have friends and family
Who love you like you should be loved
And there is someone thinking the exact same thing
Waiting for someone to love them back

And you will be the love they need
They'll be the love you have been craving

If my mind were a book
You would be the little details written throughout
The hidden meaning behind each word
The storyline

If my mind were a song
You would be the little verses
The rhythm and rhymes
The beat

If my mind were your mind
I wouldn't be present
I would be pushed back to the far corner where no one can look
I would be nonexistent

But my mind and your mind are not the same
I am present
I am open for everyone to see and experience
I am existent

My mind isn't our song
But plays a true tune
The rhyme and rhythm soft
The beat slow

My mind is only a book
Where you are the little details written occasionally
There's more meaning behind my words other than you
The storyline is mine