i am shåï
and im here to stay...

lipstick stains
left on your
swollen cheek
love uncontained

red pen marks
drawn carelessly
i have not forgotten you
my dear

you came home
the other day
why did i even bother
to kiss you away?

the stains
still remain
on a carpet
that cannot be cleaned

your cheek was swollen
i cant think
i forgot
a heart stolen

you were here
maybe you once were gone
i cant think
just the mere thought

(b.d.s.)

you are here
scrawled in the margin
of my college ruled
notebook

three words
filled with so much doubt
im tired of questioning

i dont want to choose
between confidence and uncertainty
because both hold
such empty promises

all i hear everyday
is what people say


lucy, you failed.
lucy, why did you bail?
lucy, you never changed
lucy, why are you here?

is lucy even here?

voices.
rise from the deepest
darkest corners

my name
construed on their egoistic
pessimistic
narcissistic
lips.

the cool wind
keeps my delirious thoughts
floating in the empty air

i am instantly
reassured that i am here
i am real

(b.d.s.)

there should be
a cure
for loving you

but there
isn't

only sadness
and longing
so loud
like the strums
of a guitar
next to
the quietest setting sun

can't you
forgive me
the way i could have
forgiven you?

alcohol.
drunk at 5am
emotions are running high
she thinks she will overcome it

afraid.
fear of  life;
her own self
waiting for the
untold death.
she thinks it will go away.

"she is still the same"
"she wont change"
the beast in her heart
she can't tame

"she doesn't want to change"

these voices
echo and bounce
through her mind
she is tired of not listening

she doesn't want
to hear the words
that cause her ****** agony
she succumbs and
almost believes it

her ***** mind's tricks.

you can't
you wont
you can't stand a chance

what if she can change?

but what if she's in the process?

somewhere
between that
shot of alcohol
and her drunk 5am
thoughts,
something changed.

she brought forth
catharsis.
the emotional cleanse
gave herself a fresh start
just like a brand-new
haircut.

she gave another chance;
a rebirth of the old
a light for the new
she said adieu
and also thank you

emotions
will get the best of you
sometimes;
but i hope
you can overcome them too.

(b.d.s.)

lie.
cheat.
deceit.
repeat.

the ways of a corrupt society.

it is an endless cycle
of broken ideals;
a constant rival
to honest and forthright

the bridge between
honest and straightforward
has been quickly replaced
with the backward
hope of promise

i say its a lost cause
because lost laws
means a destroyed
dead society

dead in souls.
dead in mind.
uncalculated direction
of mindsets

maybe our society may have a chance to survive

or we may be at the pit of death.

it is our choice.

it is up to us to change.

(b.d.s.)

darkness is everywhere
but yet its nowhere

the hazy surreal
quality of the midnight sky
sweeps the bare desolate terrain
like mystical rain

distorted images
lie everywhere
confusing me
i cant see

i want to be one
consistent balance
with the stars and the moon
but also with you

the moon
sees its own shadow
casting on the rolling waves
it is afraid

colour is now sleeping
as black and white
is just awaking
as the grey
aches, just ceasing to make the
next day

are you like the moon?
thats my question to you.

or are you just an image
just lurking in the murky water?

(b.d.s.)