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Disclosed Dec 2013
He erased your imprints on my hips

He striped me of your embraces

He dug his knives into my skin
and uprooted the flowers you planted in my chest

He unearthed the love you left in bones

the garden of Eden

now the Sahara

E.R.
Disclosed Jan 2013
He kissed me
You embraced me

He slithered his arm up my skirt
You asked if I was cold

His kiss was filled with passion
Your kiss was filled with hope

He poisoned my veins with lust
You fed me from the tree of knowledge

His scent was commercial
Your scent was raw; shocking me back to reality

I left him.
                  You left me.



ER.
Disclosed Aug 2014
I miss seeing you
between coffee stains

I miss hearing your
voice through silent films

I miss feeling your heart
through my chest


I hope she see's you through coffee stains
and listens for your voice during silent films

but most of all
I hope she feels your heart
in ways I never did
Disclosed Nov 2012
Your lips touching mine,
was a mistake.
Allowing myself to weep over something so trivial,
was a mistake.
Laying at night and wondering how long I'd live feeling this way,
was a mistake.
Loosing myself in order to find myself,
was a mistake.
But,
I will make better mistakes tomorrow.
          
             ER.
Disclosed May 2013
Honestly
It's sad
That when we talk
It's about school
And when we fight
you blame me

Please mom
look at yourself

Before physco analyzing me
Disclosed Sep 2014
I emptied my entire being into your soul
hoping to fill a part of you long left barren

I watered your mind with my tears
hoping to grow a garden

Yet when spring came along
and the flowers had bloomed
and your soul had blossomed

I was left
nothing more
than forgotten
Disclosed Jul 2014
I want to give you every single broken part of me
not so you could place my broken pieces into place
but so you can see the scars on my rib cage and the ruins in my heart

I want to be intertwined, you within me
not to feel the momentary glimpse of heaven
but for us to envelope each others bodies
filling empty creases

I want to dissolve into your chest
not to rest my mind and forget the days strife
but to feel your heart beating on my mind
creating our own rhythm

I want to live under your bed sheets
not to hide from the world encompassing us
but to create our own kingdom
where our memories will live
Disclosed Jul 2014
I don't believe in God
and I don't believe in fate

But there was something special about the first time I saw you
Something that I couldn't and will never be able to explain

I feel you with every fiber of my being
I feel you in my hallowed bones

I had not known true warmth until I heard your voice

E.R.
Disclosed Mar 2013
Mom,
I'm sorry.

I can't help it.
I just don't think.
I get so angry.
I say things
that no one should say.

You
have given up everything for me
You
raised me on your own

Mom
Im sorry
I'll change
Give me time

One day,
we'll look back
and laugh.

I promise.

Don't give up on me mommy.

I'm changing.
I'm just not there yet.
Disclosed Mar 2013
Two lives
can they co exist as one?

No.
What a silly question.

Two worlds
different in nature
in interaction
can
not.

Never.

And that's the truth
End of.
Nothing more
Nothing less

And the problem is
that you already no this.

Yet you still cannot let go of one
because you're afraid.

Afraid of
drugs
school
emotions

So instead of choosing one
you're up till 4 am
dealing with
a mind
a sick
brain
quite literally.
Disclosed Mar 2013
Miss Yon said,

        Relax and just let it all out,
         don't worry edit later.
         Become the words on the paper,
         and then it will be great.
        Miss Yon Said

The fall is thick but,
winter is thicker.
In those months of thickness,
in my house,
with blurry figures and smiling faces,
I blow on a cake with sixteen candles.
Yet I do not know where I am.
A gypsy of sorts.
A house is not necessarily always a home.
And my heat is lost to a room,
with nothing to hold in it.
Should my father's home be a more suitable location?
but she loves me
Should my mother’s home hold more warmth?
but he loves me
To some their homes are like the sun providing comfort and warmth.
But to others like me,
our home is but an iceberg,
melting.
m
   e
     l
       t
        i
          n
              g
gone.

You know it's not easy to read a compass lacking north.
Constantly wondering where you're headed
is not fun.
My best dish is logic,
served cold.
I wake up half dead,
or alive,
to things easily confused.
But being cold is bitter,
stiff,
I am unbreakable.
I am what I experience,
I am what I see,
I am who I speak to.
I am cold.
I am unsure.
To others who underestimate me,
I am ditsy,
I am just a blonde,
I am warm,
I am funny,
not smart.
not anything that could be valued.
not someone productive.
Identity is a crisis
and we are all in it.

This is my page for English H.
Disclosed Jun 2013
3 bestfriends entered elementary school
with cherry ice pop stained lips
laughing all day, smiling all night
pictures taken by soccer moms

3 best friends entered middle school
with lip gloss painted lips
trying to impress the opposite ***, fake smiles all night
pictures taken by PTA mothers

3 girls entered high school
with smoke stained lips and cuts on their wrists
trying to keep alive, no smiles were shown
mamas no longer taken pictures

3 girls left for college
with alcohol stained breath, and a packed car
trying to find themselves
mamas no longer there

E.R.
Disclosed Apr 2014
My hollowed eyes can't see tomorrow
My skin won’t grasp tomorrows light

You left me in the storm
You left me in the river mud

Buried me, beneath your secrets
And left.

Now I lay
Beneath the Stars

Now I lay
Now I lay
Now I lay

You are no longer I
and I no longer you

For tomorrows light won’t meet my skin

Yet the comfort I am left with
is that I am no longer
a shell floating above the water

I am the river.

E.R.
Disclosed Mar 2013
I set you free
Don't you realize that?
silly boy
stupid.

I released you from my grip
I let you experience your life to the fullest
I changed it for the better

What a tragedy it would've been
If I would've kept pretending
Lying
Playing make believe
Telling you that I love you as much as you loved me

Im sorry
You're broken

I'm sorry
I'm broken

I can't fix you
When there's no one to fix me.
Disclosed Dec 2012
I'm sorry I'm not smart enough
I'm sorry I'm still in high school
I'm sorry I'm not pretty enough
I'm sorry I'm not 2 years older

But I cant change any of it

And
I'm sorry you can't accept me
I'm sorry your nose is crooked
I'm sorry you have a crooked smile
I'm sorry you lead me on
I'm sorry for hurting you last summer

But I love you

and
       I'm sorry
                         you don't feel the same
Disclosed Nov 2012
As sure as day changes to night,
I understand.

We will soon forget the love shared
the midnight conversations
the 'good mornings'
the 'good nights'
the wasted 'I love you's'

And I will forget your crooked smile
And you will forget my lame attempts to get through a joke without laughing

Sure is what I am.

ER.
Disclosed Dec 2012
Driving around
Laughing
Smiling
Talking about the future
Eating
Breathing

It was perfect
the glimmer of your eyes
the way you asked if I was okay when I fell silent
the way we had a 20 minute discussion on christmas lights


It was all perfect
Disclosed Dec 2012
Driving around
Laughing
Smiling
Talking about the future
Eating
Breathing

It was perfect
the glimmer of your eyes
the way you asked if I was okay when I fell silent
the way we had a 20 minute discussion on christmas lights


It was all perfect
Disclosed May 2013
"be quiet
be polite
behave in public!
don't yell

get good grades

how come you never go out?
you go out way too much, focus on school"


never was a good soldier
never did  belong in a bungalo
Disclosed Apr 2013
Laughter,
is the best medicine for a broken heart.

Making you my pharmacist.
Laughter fighting pain.

You're different,
with your blonde hair
and blue eyes.

You're laughter isn't driven by lust

I think you might actually care.

Please me different.
Please be kind.
Never fragile or otherwise.

Please don't break me apart,
I can't live through another one of those.
Disclosed May 2014
At this point
My feelings are bare

I have shown all my cards

I have given you my all


and if this doesn't work out

I will be left a tin man
with no heart
#i
Disclosed Feb 2014
Why I ramble when I'm nervous
2. Why I'm so bad at Spanish and Math
3. Why I pick fights with my mother
4. Why my hands are always cold
5. Why I feel like I'm alone
6. Why I am such a cliche
7. Why I let you go
8. In reference to number 7 refer to number 6
Disclosed Apr 2014
I think for the first time in my life
I am scared of tomorrow

But this tomorrow isn't something that hides in my closet
It isn't something that my mother can scare away

Tomorrow is something that hits you before you know it

Tomorrow is like breaking your leg the day before a marathon
Disclosed May 2014
I will never forget
being 5 years old

telling my mother that I just felt sad
for no reason
#i
Disclosed May 2014
Promise you'll come back
And I'll promise I won't get scared
Disclosed Dec 2015
I was never one to look past flaws
and many have come before you

Yet
you were different
you weren't perfect
you swore
you snored
you weren't always nice

But
I would take 100 bad days with you
over 1 good day with anyone else
Disclosed Dec 2015
I am not god fearing
I am not one to condemn others to hell
Nor flirt with angels

But
there's something about us
something that I cannot describe

Because
ever since the first night we've met

Fate is all I can think about
Disclosed Dec 2015
You weren't a waste of time
You showed me that what we had was possible
You showed me that this feeling is out there

I refuse to settle
I've touched gold
I will no longer settle
for slate
Disclosed Dec 2015
Never feeling
is not hard
Never loving
is not hard

But when the corners of his lips smiled
my world fell from those lips

Feeling
is hard
Loving
is hard

I am
not easy
You
are not the sun

But together
we are the whole **** universe
Disclosed Jul 2014
Fall to deeply

Fly to high

Search for answers in the wrong people

But there is something poetic in our strife
there is something so pure in feeling so deeply
that our love consumes our very being

E.R.
Disclosed Nov 2012
When you've brushed your alcohol ridden teeth
When last nights lust has long gone
When the sun is awakened and you must face mornings strife

Will your kisses still be filled with passion
Or does the morning signal more than the nights lust
Does it awaken rebirth?
Does it mean that once you are rid of alcohol

You are rid of me?
                                                                                                                                            ER.
Disclosed Apr 2014
I think it scares you

I think you wish you could forget me

I think you wish her eyes were mine

I think every time we talk, you're scared

I think you know that I would hurt you again

I think the two years we shared haunts you
i
Disclosed Nov 2012
Completely worthless.
wonder why you’re still here
How can you still be here when you have no purpose
Failing to please even yourself
every time.

Why
Why are you still here
You can’t find a reason to go on.
But you sit there and endure life anyway.

— The End —