It's all that matters you poor ****
Now step away from my gold ring, menace

Nothing makes you feel so
[small and helpless] 
than not having enough change
to buy an outfit 
one that'll show the world you aren't 
passé.
Nothing out there can make you feel so [stupid & less]
Than having to pick the "cheap one"
Forced; *****; 
And then you go home...
You think you've escaped
You turn up a ****** radio
Watch some show you videotaped -
But it still persists. The knowing.
You're nothing and you know it
Day in day out, you, the rabble
Peasant peon misfit,
Nothing makes you feel so 
[tiny & invisible]. 
$$$ is all that matters. 

you, anti-tycoon
you don't have any money
the demon of noon
is coming for you.

Sometimes most days almost always
When I
Scrounging stuck in traffic
Unknown mayflies driving the cars around
Insectoid feelers grasping the wheel
When I
Bones of lava boiling over
Teeth everywhere and pointy
I hypothesize:

A mass extinction event or
A pandemic colony collapse
Wouldn't be
Too bad

We've got nothing to do &
Nowhere to go

It's a quiet late afternoon
An orange ambient sky
+ you & I

Under the oak tree in
My family's ranch

Coming from toxic homes and
Chemical airs and dying American dreams

Coming from crying-baby apartments
And alcohol-bottle floors

Both laying down here thinking we
Hadn't had a fair chance

Until we found each other.

And as the sun sinks into the land
Our shade spreads out everywhere

And as the cars create a muffled roar
Just past the tree-line,
I think,

"Maybe one day we'll be
Anywhere but here"

Gargoyles live on my awning
The one overhanging my bedroom window

Like bats, they'll hang upside down
And stare in at me

In the dark in the room
Whistles faintly echo
Up to my room
"Who's in this house?"

And the dread settles in
A bag full of lead
I can't move
And for some reason
I think the whistling can see me in here

Skritch-scratch under the door
Total paralysis still -
Maybe, I shall pretend to snore?

Two red jewel eyes
Materialize
At the foot of this bed
This
Is absurd!
I can't even mouth a word!

Climbing ontop of me
The mare opens his jaws
To a dead TV channel
That sounds like bee-wings
Just about suffocated by fright

Then it all ends 
Hard heavy anvil feelings
And all I keep with me is the dread

During you
Us
I was in the eye of the Hurricane

Following the centre
I thought
Maybe I could just hang with you

And avoid the walls of sheer cold as it moved
But
That's only a matter of time

When a hurricane dies down
The windwalls collapse
The thing kills itself in frenzy

It collapses into a lightning storm
Then a tornado of slush
And then indecisive icy silence

And I can't escape
Ever
Regardless of you

Wish I knew

What a fix to be stuck on

A sea of remotes 
Controlling their channels
(Channels really know
How to pull people in.
But not me. I just watch news.)

Piles and piles and stacks 
Of remotes
Mangled up in cords 
Around the main event:
The TV.

Back to that pile of remotes -
All different kinds & controls
There's a pink one
With polka dots or chicken pox
There's a swampy soggy one
A grey tomb-stony one
Etc., and whatnots

What to do with all them?
Control the tube, of course,
But they all do that
A little bit differently.

"To hell with this white noise"

I ****** up a chrome looking remote
Soapstone it wasn't
But cold cold cold still
I pressed the red button near the front
Blinked it didn't 
But got stuck.
I just stared in frustration
For a long while, into that fuzzy screen.

And then
Out of the white noise
A gigantic chrome razor-hand
Came crashing through

Pulling me in.

Me in my mirror, mirror 
A ghoulish sight.

Awkward skulk 
'A clay face'
As my nose says 
'A dog snout'
As my eyes would say

Skin like a shelter
For bacterial catacombs
Rising up from under like undead

Screaming inside
I press my face into the right morph
Re-bend the crooked nose
Self-correct the bloated chin
I layer on more clay, then
Mold it again.
Re-mold some more.
Slice some off; 
what am I now?

"Pretty." an ideal voice says 

*******,
My eyes are tired from staring
"They aren't lasers"
I tell myself
"They can't surgically correct you"

And So 
goes another night.

it's kin
da
like that]]
when
if I left
my earphones in

and forgot
and in the back-ground
some-thing's playin'
but
I've got
opened too many tabs
can't figure
find out where
it's coming from

to x out of it

He had a gold tooth
Right in front

I thought;
A hideous feature
Worse though
Was his aroma -
Certain death & ****
& Liquor.

He screeched some babble at me
I didn't understand
And he got angrier.
'What does this ***
Want from me?'

Unlocked my car
I got in
Slammed the door
Lock.

His index finger
Pointing at me as I drove away

loading more guys...
loading more guys...
loading more guys...
loading more guys...

headless torsos only no fems
under 150 only
white skin only sorry not racist
likes lonely walks not holding hands in public 'cause that's ****
NSA only please

loading more guys...
loading more guys...
loading more guys...
loading more guys...

A photograph, a raindrop on a rooftop
I want to see you again
You just kind of pop back in my life

Here or there

You're gone again
I'm just stuck in this quiet, stained
glass jar. No sight in,
I can't see out
Like a personal museum
De-loved.
a 24K lip-pump soloist
I wish, I wish, I wish-

A cassette, an old bouquet
I want to see you again
It's horrid and you're not mine anymore

Here or there
Now or ever

It's coming up from under
Grappling me pulling heartstrings
Yanking me down to

Dance, dance baby!
C'mon lets go crazy, it's our night tonight!
Put your hands in the air
In the air

It's coming up to tear into my guts
I can feel its eyes on me
A scarlet beam of light lined up on my

Throw your hands in the air!
Drank, drank drank drank drank
Pour it up
Ooh c'mon baby

Errybody.
Come and look
Errybody.
It's gettin hot in this club
Errybody.
Grab a body get jumpin'!
Errybody.
Don't stop grindin'

Heavy mechanical breathing
It's so close
I'm

It's got a hold on me
This dancefloor is a romantic dream
Let's keep the party goin'!
Tonight is still livin'
Tonight is still livin'
Tonight

Snarling fangs out now
It's ontop of

...the tides swoop upon and siege the beaches
seafoam tickles my toes
***** shuttle back to their
Mother Ocean
pink clouds are entitled to this sundown
and they form like milk puddles on the horizon
and then I face it,
in these soft conditions,
I love you
reaching over to you
tiny electrical signals from my soul
jump across space and touch your hand
and, a warm
glow emits.

I met him at a work shop
he was beautiful because he made art
I liked watching him make these things[
he spray painted a big plastic skull gold
he spray painted me gold]
he didn't care where it got

I'd follow him anywhere
because he looked at me with his
piercing eyes and
because he'd hold my hand
and pull me somewhere
wild & new

Gilles rushed into the kitchen and grabbed the knife
slashed it across his throat and dropped it on the tile.

Coming to his knees, he felt a faint relief,
Liquid Crystal Display leaked out of his neck,
and down onto the tiles in a puddle
he touched the mercurial 'it'

It pooled onto the floor and images appeared
an image of a beautiful man with a perfect body
an image of endless money, cash and credit
his childhood home, mother and father.
a kissing couple,
an image of hi-
                          -mself
and seeing these,
he had the queerest of feelings
a false déjà vu

as the last drops of It leaked down from his neck
Gilles finally came to -
a large pool of blood,
and blurry vision
to black.

drones
wrapped up in the expansive botnet
of this black facility
prone to
repeat all of last week's protocol
in sequence
and without passion
(the big guy enforces it all)

I'm bored

eye-scanner rejects me twice
fingerprint authentication
prove who I am
beat that proof into the day
a cup of Joe at lunch
half crop-circles under these eyes
yet
you'll still hear me say

I'm bored.

the beat goes on, the beat goes on
the singsong klak-ing of
whatever whatever
a beautiful voice comes over the speakers
ironic
she's the only one talking
and it's a pamphlet talk
about where we all already work.

I'm bored.

I just sat there
And
Kept on sitting 
Staring at the tombstone
Kept on sitting
Half-life; newly alone
I just sat there 
Because
I had nothing left to do
Without you.

Sterilized

Bleached-bone island head
I was transfixed by him
This man who
Looked me in the soul and
And knew it all
This man who stood tall
Clean-cut / a broad salt statue

Mom always told me to
Be skeptical of men who said they knew it all
But this man I loved I loved I loved

He was judas minus heresy
Stained glass saint man
I loved I loved I loved him
My mind mix / Myself
And who I saw in him what I thought I could be

Gutters in his face
Made for the tears he wept
For everyone else.

I think it was those tears
That magnetized
Hypnotized & electrified
Every un-part of me

Walking at the
A wall is keeping me
I don't see it
It's there,
This is my life
Pixel trees & beautifully rendered
Land-Scapes
Around me
Like I'm on a treadmill
Walking in place
The Country-Side on a screen
Behind me as I fake walk
I want to go further
It’s only a scripting illusion
I’m not really moving
Everything else is

There's blinking arrows
A savepoint to my right
But
I want to go that way

It won't let me
low poly text box reminds
my avatar
you can see it but you can’t have it
turn around to continue gameplay

I live & love in a truly ugly
horrifying place

Hapless in my routines
going about blithely,
doing normal, human
things
In a truly ugly
horrifying place













.

vertigo hallway
I make my
way down
tilt-a-whirl dark
hallways
eyes of persons
in paintings
following
my trek
through the dark.

and I hear it--
I've gone
in search
of its source
as it
sounds in the blackness of
dead time
and I see
no mouth making
any noise

as I spiral through ennui
I reach a threshold
disoriented & lost, now,
I die with the dark
and yet,
I still hear them
through the snaps
and crackles
and drafts
of a quiet nightly home
clearer than a bell,
I hear
whispers
from the dark

I'm telling you -
almost like a
shadow
leaning up-close
to my ear
faintly drawling,
in some unutterable
alien muffled tongue

maddened by noise
I continue
Determined to
source this phenomena
I always end in the same
room
and as a
metal gate
rolls shut behind
I finally realize.

Buried in 'maybe'
A throbbing heart toils for a throbbing mind,
Heart beating on its cage of rib -
It's only a matter of time

Ready to bust out of that joint
Make a run for it and
Breakaway

Worked like a slave,
Your blood-pumping knave
Tired, shifty-eyed & opaque

Make no mistake:
It'll burst straight thru your chest
Go running off right before your dead eyes
And you'll never see it again.

30,000 feet + monstrous clouds
Between me
And the ground.
Ears crackling like a deserted radio signal

These people & I
Up in the high

All the way up.

lost my heart in the circular realm
when I think of anything it sounds
like a drugged up
contradiction, that never was and never will
it's like I'm Dead.
In this vacuum presumed
Dead.

who I know , who I knew
the people that helped me grow,
are never recycled as new.
I keep writing these lines of my poetry mind
that to everyone else looks twisted and lied
like my mind is corrupt and they knew all along exactly
what's up.
What I know for sure is that nothing is for sure
But someone's said that before,
so I guess I'm a fake
unless I discover something new,
something blue, something old,
nothing at all,
it's absurd
it's fool's gold
it's an unreality
from the line of a sonnet
written on a vanishing moon.

it's like I'm Dead.

My dead ancestors have taken up all
the juice for my parade.
I'm left a charade; a skit;
half-hearted & unfit

it's like I'm Dead.
My obsessions say it all
You know the reasons
the buzzes
and the contrite liaisons.
You knew
all along
the undead song sang
to the soldiers
whose lives are ****** war zones

You know my cellophane
you've seen it televised live from every side,
and on every dead celebrity whose tragedy was pied.

I can't look good.
I'm not wearing the right clothes,
They're just not for me even though I want it to be that way,
to be that way would be nice.

Waking in september,
I could use a splash of color today,
I could use an advancement today,
somebody special may notice today,
these new clothes I have on,
maybe notice me, too.

Trying to stop the threads from wrapping around my neck,
the spools laughing like fools,
Trying to keep my skin unseen,
Because that vulnerability is dangerous, so I now,
prepare for a ****** day.

Years pass by like strangers in Manhattan,
Head to toe, covered in fashion,
Hat for a head,
Shoes, socks for feet.
Belts, buttons, silks, leathers, gloves,
all wrapped in heavy jackets.
Sunglasses. My eyes are faulty,
They can't be seen. Must remain shaded.
No skin anywhere so, my wish is granted.

Big brand names all over my body,
but somehow nameless.

The seams start to wither,
Like nature does do,
Arms of sweaters fall to threads,
Fibers of cotton fill the area,
Moths become alert.
All the garments fade into oblivion but the interesting part -
No nakedness underneath the glamour, only nothingness.
A plume of fattened moths and dust scatter,
The clothes fell down and there was an empty space.

somehow liars are always ugly
I don't know how the universe does this
but **** am I right

you may not notice
(the pointy beak, acne and cancer moles)
but if you really really focus

somehow I'm right

Sometimes I
I just don't want to do
The things I have to -

My heart's pinned to the sheets
I feel like
I feel 1000 rocks ontop of me

So I
I'll just stay here in bed
Staring up

Finding patterns on the walls
Maybe my heartbeat
Will clear itself up

Five blankets rumbling winds
and me
Mind humming like a bee
I didn't ask for it
(It didn't ask for me)
Unwinding the coils
at 4a.m.
And I feel
free

I put the pens
the
"holiday"
flavored jujube's
and a jug of milk
onto the
conveyor

apparently at this time
that's odd.

I live in the dark.
No -
Not Me
But I.

I'm what
You don't
Admit in daylight
Because I'm
Under the floorboards

I won't decay
Like the other 32 boys
I'll remain
Vengeful.

A baby girl
Killed by her mother
Drowned in a bathtub

*Tune in at 9:30 for heated debate!

Lil Kim got her face done
that's how
you can tell she's rich

only richfolk do that
right before
they dive back into the sea

"I'a Dagon"

you're all bothered about going out,
meeting a noble guy, looking around for him...
you're an acquired taste
my dear boy
just stay home.

the bleeding
what will I do with all your blood?
what will you do without it?
you & the handmirror are tired,
my dear girl
stay home.

in the opera the singers sing,
the audience pays attention,
follow my script,
and stay home
it will guide you to Happiness.

You're a freak
Sorry I let that leak but
out in that world there is no one
for you.
You're unique.

I know you're mad at me
You think I'm cruel or wrong.
I know those tears are salty and
I know better.
You should stay home forever.

I'm a kid
I'm in trouble
I'm homeless
I'm window shopping
IDK

Take me out tonight
Let's see the lights
Let's get in trouble
Let's get lost
IDK

I'm a ghost so you better
Squint your eyes
You look so good to me

I'm a ghost so you better
Say your prayers
70mph is just too slow

Let's go out tonight
And do what-ever

I walked the mopped floors
Into God's house
From outside I heard birds
I heard wind rustle & cars
I heard my thought

As I walked into God's house
The channels muted
No one praying today
Not a sound
I sat in the empty wood pews
Clasped hands

I heard the sound of the ceiling
And after twenty three minutes of nothing
I went home.

I want to graduate, first,
I don't want to live here (forever
I'd like to
Move out West maybe
Arizona
California

I wonder if he thinks
I'm acceptable to his parents
I'd like to think I am
I'd like to
Not worry maybe
He & Me
Let's get married

I'm not a human or a person
I have no feelings
I'm a happy jar
(I love, I love, I love)
Endless hearts and
Repeating computer images
Breeze by my eyes

I invest myself
In these things I love
(I love, I love, I love)
A glorious bottle
sold whatever else
had been inside

a flash of light overtook this life
a thunderbolt of
I'm not a human
Look at me now
(I love, I love, I love.)

some days he's gone
some days she's here
some days he's here
some days it's here

but on the days he & she are gone
I don't notice it
I don't feel different
but some people do

you aren't entitled to know
if he's here or gone
you aren't me either way

he's gone here to stay.

I can't settle on anything as of late

I've got a new shirt
new novelty and new religion
new disposition and new face
daily, day after day
I'm exhausted

I just wish I knew the color of my hair

you dream,
you hope

10w heartbreak, heart-hate,
death

you dream,
you hope

broken dreams,
night time poetry:

'time you dream.

some-times I'll push my finger
down on my skin, my face

just to check
just to *see

Lover, I only want your love now
And now
And now
And now
And now
And now
And now
And now
∞