I hear voices in my head
Screaming,shouting,giving me advice
I answer out loud
Imaginary friends like you are always there
I could never let you go
Because you are the insanity that keeps me sane
You are the clarity in my blindness
You protect me when their words hurt
The rest doesn't matter coz you are always there
You are the voice in my mind
Disembodied yet wise than those with bodies
You may not have a mind of your own but we can share mine
Because voices with bodies shred lives
Voices with minds are blind
Blind to the suffering of others
Blind to see the other side
Blind o everyone else but themselves.

Narcolepsy* hard and heavy watch me fall asleep
            Lulled to bed in a cunning thread of the tangled web we weave
    I dream in pristine colors, windows of my mind anew
No fingerprints or ***** looks or evidence of you

         I find comfort in forever wherever it may be
        I may have left my home but it will always stay with me
                 The smell of all the smoke with the sound of all the rain
   On constant playback every second deep within my brain

        I found that time is all that matters and everything else faded
        I spent years and years learning how to forget everything I hated
    I've only gotten older and have nothing left to show
              Except a ringing alarm clock and blood on my pillow

     Narcolepsy** hard and heavy watch me as I sleep
     Another pill, another high, another date to keep
      If I shall die before I wake, I hope that I'm with you
    Then it won't matter where I go, cause you will see me through

Broken
Empty
I feel naked
Ashamed
My heart is exposed and my weaknesses are there
In everyone's eyes
My darkness only blinds me
I hear people laughing diabolically
Planning ways to use my flaws
I feel people getting too close
I cannot stop them
My wall is down, my broken arms
Cannot build a new one
I cannot run anymore
Cannot oppose them
I can't cover my nakedness.

My mind has become a blank page
I don’t know who I am anymore
I am lost
In the darkness I feel that I've never existed;
In my thoughts I see
Things that are not supposed to be here

Bitter words are flying in my brain
There’s a cold wind in my soul
I am getting cold
Like Andersen’s Little Match Girl
Dreaming hopelessly about some arms that could make me warm.

I hurt
I'm hunted by poltergeists,
With my bleeding hands I dig my own hole in the ground,
I hide in it
I close my eyes
I feel that I'm dying, but I know
I am only sleeping.


I can only hope that I will soon wake up from this nightmare

Falling

Drowning.

I remember how your voice used to keep me
at the surface
walking like Jesus on water I was
thinking that I was saved
from the beasts living, hiding at the bottom of the ocean
waiting, and waiting, and waiting in silence
for me to drown
to get deep into this misery.

Falling.

Drowning.

The beasts at the bottom are waiting and waiting,
your voice is fading, grows weaker and weaker,
I find myself unable to walk
I drown with every step I try to take.
The beasts in the deep are coming for me.


I am unsaved.