Acknowledging bliss
Uncharacteristically
Enjoying just me.

Sometimes? You give in.
That anger finally wins.
That fire stops to hurt
and even feels great.
That all you can muster?
is hate for another.
Be someone else's mother
or a long since dead brother
even that guy who couldn't
keep it in his pants, and
the liars and the fakes,
the people? who only take.
Yes, sometimes?
That fire feels great.

What it feels like?
Since my birth is
that I've been cursed.
My family tree? Might
just be the worst.
That, that twisted tree?
Was never worth it's
Seed. It tries to
strive but has only
seen hard times.
That family? is just
a word. Truly, I've
seen their worst.

Oh god.
I think this is it
The sun is out
And for a change?
It feels good on
My skin.

Oh god.
what's that sound?
The birds are singing.
And for a change?
It's not crushing
My soul.

My demons
All seem to be
Hiding away this day
And for a change?
I find myself
smiling .

I can't today.
Even in my dreams.
Are you done watching me?
I'm tearing apart at the seams.
Can you please stop taunting me?
Could you ever stop haunting me?
With  a face and laugh,
I can't remember....
I just can't do this today.