I'm standing on a cliff by the ocean,
except this is a field next to the graveyard
where I'm realizing now that not all waves
are made by the sea.

I sink myself beneath the wind
in this tall grass that's ebbing and flowing
to see if it might help me think of everything
that made me love you.
but I can't drown in these kinds of waves,
just like I can't remember a love
made out of pieces of something.

high ocean cliffs and fields next to cemeteries
are not the same,
and I'm starting to see that maybe I didn't
love you based on different parts
of what I thought you were.
because as slowly as I understood that
waves don't exist in just one place,
I'm thinking it's possible that I just loved you
in more than a single way.

a.d.

I dreamed. Finally
A dream that was better than this torn up reality
You came to me holding out your hand
I looked at in disgust already knowing your plan
In this dream I already knew you would use me then toss my body a side
Draw me in with false words then laugh as I choked on my pride
You tried to get the best of me
That wasn't happening, not in my dream
No here I was the Queen
I came out on top
Not once did I drop
Fall off my pedestal
No longer was I the fool
You bowed at my feet
And I just looked at you how you use to look at me
In disgust
Yet still I could not refuse my lust
A mistake I made and will never repeat
Yet in this dream I stood tall and never admitted defeat
It faded to soon
Light shining through
Waking me to my torn reality
Losing my fantasy
Reminding me that I am the one who is scarred
Torn from the marks you left on this heart

I was happy being a mountain range
Admired by those wishing to explore
One day I caught sight of quite a beauty
This mountain range made me eager
To explore peaks and run down slopes
Feel every dip and groove of rough terrain
And find my way through every cave
I want these plates beneath me to quake
So that my range can be with your range
Let me be the snow that covers you whole
To feel myself melt in your warmth
Say you'll have me and give into desire
Allow my prints on your wonderful earth
For the future explorers to envy
Maybe then my yearning for you will cease
Or maybe I'll stay exploring forever

recycling trouble from the past in hopes you'll make time go fast for your slow hourglass
shake the sand, gravitate towards the new plan

pave the ground, it won't be so bumpy now

we tossed the nails to the side, just don't forget the part where you drive
a rock or two will make you swerve, but ruthless words will be there to serve
gas is ready, handy and steady waiting to be levied
the price goes up but our strive runs slow

Sometimes, I dream about the ocean

How the currents pull me under and I’m left gasping for air

Only to ingest the salt water poison that is my love.

I reach the ocean floor.

There’s a gap, a crack that leads downwards

A never-ending whirlpool swoops me in, and there is no escape

You see, I am convinced, that this dream started when I was drowning in my tears

Fighting, like the only way to keep you is to reach the surface,

Sinking, my love knows no depths, and I keep spiraling down

Always loving people who will never love me back

Probably, because I am so broken, and ****** up, that I was never supposed to reach these depths to begin with

I was supposed to drown, but I fell in love instead.

My type is the person who will hurt me

Who has never known love like I have

Who can never fight for me because they’ll only end up drowning themselves

I will never be the first person to leave, I never learned how.

I forgive too easily; the salt has scraped away my ability to differentiate between honest mistakes and abuse.

I’d like to say that I love unconditionally, but the truth is I love recklessly

But I will never apologize, and because I’m always the one getting my heart broken, it means I never have to.

I may be the one to always love more, but it has allowed me to see the depths of something, so beautiful, something so magical it pulls me under.

You may think I’m drowning, but salt water is an acquired taste.

If I'm being honest
I'm tired of being a poet.
I'm tired of findig meaning in everything from the lines of the sky to the cracks in the side walk
I'm tired of using extended metaphors to explain how overwhelmed or angry or sad I am 
I'm tired of immortalizing the people I love or hate in half assed lines of poetry
For once I would like a good day just to be a good day or a bad day just to be a bad day
A landscape to hold no higher meaning than to magnify the glory of existence
For the people I know to hold no cosmic significance in the fabric of time
I would like to sit and be quiet
To write and be at peace
For the storm to pass over
And to find some relief
This is not a game for me this is how I breathe and I am tired of having to hold meaning in every crack and every crevice
My poetic nature has become a menice in my tired skin
I'm tired of letting the light in
But this isn't something you quit
This is something you breathe
This is something you are
This is something you need
Even if it doesn't make sense all the time
This is the one true thing I know that's mine
My sense of rhythm and my sense of rhyme
And it isn't easy all the time
Because these days life moves faster than I've even known
Faster than I can process what I've been shown
These days it's easy to feel the weight of all of my time spent alone
My mind isn't home
I'm chilled to the bone
These days I'm tired of being tired and tired of writing about how tired I am
Like I'm six feet under but I'm not yet dead
Using poetic devices to say what's already been said
I'm tired of playing this game
Imortalizing name after name
I still feel the same
Even though I still keep writing
So what I'm trying to say is that I need poetry like I need water but sometimes if you drink too fast or you drink too deep you feel like you're drowning
Out to sea in familiar surroundings
It's astounding how tiring being a poet can be.

this word love
burdens me with confusion
I am wondering if it is a mere illusion
a sort of delusional aspect of life
something that makes everything right or has you up all night wondering whats on that significant others mind ​at that exact time ​
oh this world love
burdens me with confusion