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 Dec 2016 Bethany Olivas
Torin
Imagination change
It can never be as strange as this
Lockdown in the attic
The basement
Even the echoes of the shadows
Show face

I've given up on you
I've forgotten how to italicize
I hope I got it right
I hope


I hope

(By the way, not a part of the poem,
Unless it is,
You decide,
You make bad decisions)

Now these ghost
Are living
Creature of doubt
In my living room
Show teeth

Eat
Eat
Eat
Eat
Eat
Eat
Eat
And never be satisfied

This backlit screen
Becomes host to my worst fear
I've given up on you
When you, gave up on me


There are deeper darks in the night
Most never see
 Dec 2016 Bethany Olivas
Colm
Fumbling words in the night sky,
Like thunder in the broadest storm.
So you will go down in historic mind,
As not very bright.

Though the stroke of lightning might be me,
You were like thunder above the trees,
Loud, assertive and absolute,
But never available to be seen.

I'm glad such sound was not for me,
And that you passed like a summers night.
Because I have no need for rumbling voice,
Or an ominous noise devoid of light.
I never heard her voice. And I never want to.
 Dec 2016 Bethany Olivas
Holly
I love you
I love you
I really ******* love you
And you don't love me and that's okay i guess
Because in the end you are still my best friend
And i just want you to be happy
Even if its not with me
And i think your the greatest person in the world
And you put yourself down
Oh god your smile is beautiful
And your eyes are stunning
And i love you
And i'm sorry for that.
 Mar 2015 Bethany Olivas
Holly
Rain, rain, go away,
Because of you the pain will stay.
Slit my throat, cut out my heart,
Leave me here, tear it apart.

Poison tears stream down my face,
My heart beats at a steady pace
As I try to stand again;
Alone and standing in the rain.

I don't need you anymore...
Is what I think while tears pour.
I hate you like I hate my life;
But love is what cuts like a knife.

Love is death and death is you;
Its pain stains like a black tattoo.
Those memories come back again
And bind me in the ropes of pain.

Crimson blood streams down my head
Like a long, silk ribbon, tied by a thread,
To a platinum bullet, a hole in my skull...

...Now just a memory that's faded and dull.
Sometimes I choke back tears
Sometimes I hinder in doorways
Sometimes I'm just numb
But I'm always throwing up anti depressants
Sometimes I feel like nothing at all
Sometimes I use the scissors
Sometimes I OD
Then I'm throwing up anti depressants
Sometimes I think it's all okay
Sometimes I smile again
Sometimes it's not worth it
So I'm throwing up anti depressants
Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever wake
Sometimes I wonder if I want to
Sometimes my dreams are everything
I'm just throwing up anti depressants
 Jan 2015 Bethany Olivas
Caitlin
I'm thankful for the rain,
For it covers my tears.

I'm thankful that it's cold,
For it excuses my shaking.
Tonight. This was me.

— The End —