It was the time when
                                     you drunk called me
"Just to hear your voice"
              that I noticed you.
It was the time when
                                     we skipped class to lay in bed on that rainy day
"Just to be alone with you"
               that I liked you.
It was the time when
                                     we went grocery shopping & ate dinner in our underwear
"Just to play house with you"
                that I loved you.
It was the time when
                                     we sat in the car & we cried & I begged you
"Just to love me too"
                 that I lost you

Neurons crackling,
sparks dancing
from white to gray matter.
Shadows begin to form,
becoming words as the light of
ingenuity shines
fully on them.
Synapses light up,
down to the fingers,
who are itching to transport
ideas onto pages.
Delicately they balance on the
tightrope line
across the parchment,
waiting for the
world to watch
their spectacle.
They can move hearts,
change minds and
start revolutions
by simply existing.
How tantalizing is the
wonder of
words.

Thank you
for doing everything right.
You're my favorite story
to tell,
still so surreal to me
that I dare not
defile you with
my clumsy pen and page.
Rest assured,
my soul remembers every detail.
And if life were to
ever bring you back my way,
I'd love you still

he slept facing his dreams,
lost in a world that didn't feel
the kisses i gently placed along his spine
or hear the "my darling, i love you" that i breathed
into his skin.
he slept facing his dreams,
and i laid against him,
facing mine.

Its weird
that I still think
about you
   and
it makes me
feel weak.
Its worse
because
I find myself
missing the
   oddest things.
Like
   your mom
   your shirts
   how you held my hand
   the curve of your nose
and
    the way you like to run.
Its things like these,
the obscure
annoying things,
that keep me
     missing you.

I hate myself for this
but ****,
*I miss you

i had a dream
that he loved me,
       and that's how i knew
i was dreaming.

i stood on his shores
and marveled at
the thunder and roar
he made when he broke
against the sand.
he drew me in
with a shade of blue
i'd never seen before.
and it was only when
i felt him pull me in
that i remembered,
i don't know how to swim.

A poet wants...
    Someone who adores everything they've ever written
    (because it means they adore us)
But a poet needs...
      Someone who's honest, who tells us when it's not our best work
      (because it makes the good work even more special)
A poet wants...
    Someone to hold close every night. Someone who loves to have poems breathed into their collarbone while they sleep
     (because it inspires long love poems)
But a poet needs...
      Someone who spends a few nights away. Someone who forgets to call occasionally
       (because it inspires real poems)
A poet wants...
    Everything to be perfect. To be able to edit and rewrite life as it happens, so we never have to feel pain
    (because then we wouldn't have to feel embarrassed about the unshared poems in our journals)
But a poet needs...
    Pain. Imperfection. Mistakes. Life.
     (because it allows us to write to feel to forgive to learn. To bleed out our heartbreak with ink and parchment. To reach out to each other with words)
All because a poet thrives on the difference between *want and **need

he doesn't know it
but when i lay in his bed
my mind is stringing together
adjectives and airy phrases,
trying unsuccessfully to
pin down the emotions
he breathes into me.

he doesn't know it
but when i kiss his skin,
i imagine my lips
peppering his chest
neck and arms with
ink stains that morph
into words like "lover"
and "darling".

he doesn't know it
but the smile he shares
with me under the covers
is pressed firmly
into the corners
of my heart,
begging to be immortalized
in words.

Loving you is like
intentionally drinking poison-
foolish and painful.

What do you say
when someone asks you to love them forever
and your answer is no?

I'd live in your ribbed cage
if
   you'd
       let
           me

i'd never felt such
cold hands
grab hold of my heart before,
and i'd never known it could
shatter into so many pieces.
            and i'd also never seen a
            sweeter man come along and
cut his perfect hands to shreds
             by picking up the pieces
and putting my heart back together again,
             *just
             to
             watch
              it
              beat