What the heart wants got me in parts, it haunts me
Tellin me its okay to love but then like no, don’t let it be, flee
Thought it all fit like a glove, but guess it was the wrong hand
Nothing went as the plan, now I’m still in a defensive stand

Ready to fight at any time because theres no more trust
Getting ready to make anyone at all times bite the dust
Don’t trust you nor even my own self because I’ve been too long trapped inside myself
Maybe I should just leave the heart stored in a farway shelf

Cause it seems so easy to love but I never feel like I belong
Wish I was wrong but in the long run I might just resort to the ****
To feel like I’m here and loved because no matter what I feel like I’m void
Emotionless but emotional maybe I just need a date with Freud

Because I’ll love you and then I’ll just want to destroy you
You never hurt me but I’ve hurt myself I planned my own coup
But I dreamed you were holding the knife. There standing in the pool of my blood
And that is enough for me to drag you through the mud

I like that rush, let me rush right into ***
I like this song come on slip on the durex
But then two years from now you’ll talk about kids and marriage
You got no idea what I got in storage cause I’m basically practically made of baggage

A week from that talk I’m gonna be gone and we’re done
Because its not you. Its me, I’m ******
Cause I’ll grow bored and tired and you wont even expect it
Cause I got the wit and I’m quick to call everything quit.

Hey brain
Can you tell my heart
That I'm so proud of it
Can you tell it thank you
That I'm amazed by everything it can do
I'm alive because of what it can do
Thank it for beating always
Thank it for pumping blood through my body constantly
Thank you for the love you fill yourself with
When I feel cold and hate scratching at my skin
Hey can you tell it to take it easy
That it doesn't need to race every time
My nerves go up
Let it know that it doesn't need to love
So much
That it's ok to love a lot but not too much
Save some for itself
Let it know I'm thankful it hasn't given up
On me yet
Thank you for the ability to recognize
My heart

On this day I'll celebrate
the breadth of life outside of lines
to walk the paths of my life
with the friends I'd not expect
companions of so many stripes
some like me, many not
while I may not know the cause
embracing life is why they strive.

If I attach to who I am
diversity has no loved place
this I learned as I met
those outside my bubble's span
I hope to do the same for them
show a glimpse of what could be
that fools have wisdom of their own
outside of boxes where dogma lies.

The sweetest part is to see
beauty's mark in so many ways
assuring me something's left behind
far from ugliness I view elsewhere
the progress made through the years
though they are not my children
warms my heart in the same way
growth achieved by leaps and bounds.

In due time there will be a day
when they leave or perhaps I will
life's that way don't you know
gifts bestowed and then removed
with this threat I'll not recede
though time’s cruel ways deny all
with friends I’d not expect
I’ll celebrate more than the sum.

© 2017. Sean Green. All Rights Reserved. 20171026.

Child with the lion eyes,
whips his mane
'neath desert sky.

<-- lost in the stars -->

he feels confined,
too much space
for a monkey mind.

At first he said hi and he treated you with respect, something you never thought you could get.

Suddenly he leaves and for a day you do not see him

You begin to think, I wonder what he is into, how is he doing.

Realizing you've cling to someone you are into but don't truly know what he is about, yet it  doesn't bother you, for it is he you let your guard down hoping one day you can feel what you felt before.

How could you ignore such a feeling.

Then that day comes the day you see him again, in that same building standing in the same line maybe a few people ahead, but he is right in front of you.

He says hi and he treats you with respect, you say hi and do something you regret.

Somehow now he has changed and u wouldn't believe some of the thing he be saying.

Treating you with neglect, giving you disrespect, he just played his cards right just to give you good ****.

Now you question your heart, insecure torn apart. you took a chance but the state he left you in ....
tears and pain from the disconnect ...

-ShaiSoul

One day, this pillow will have a different name.
My dreams will cast a different face.
Yet for now, I know that this situation will remain the same.
Am just hoping for a faster pace.

I will be able to close my eyes and think of a new ‘you.’
Smell the morning and remember a more joyful view.
But for now, it’s your scent I recall,
And to your maze I fall.

Don’t get me wrong as I’ve done this before,
This isn’t new — no need for your sympathy.
Though I’m certain your thoughts wander other shores,
Not minding nor thinking about me.