She’s hurting. No one can tell.
She hides it very naturally.
Makeup, hair, and clothes all in place.
Clothes that catches people’s eyes, puts a thought in heads.
“She's happy, she has everything or she must live a pretty great life”
She walks with her high, ready to greet people when needed.
Never a long conversation, just a short and sweet one to leave a good impression.
Walks down the street confidently; someone hollers at her… no turn of her.
Helps the old lady across the street.
Grabs a cup of coffee before going home.
But when the door shuts, she shuts down.
Everything you saw of her is now put away ready for the next day.
The real her is behind the door.
Real pain, sorrow digging deep inside of her.
Sinking deep into her bath soaking in the day.
No extraordinary day; just a repeat like a skip in an old record player.
Feels as if nothing will ever change.
Something is growing inside of her… anger.
Anger that is coming to the surface telling her something.
She turns off the water and cries.
The level of the water goes up from all the tears running down her face.
“Whats a girl like her crying for, she has everything”
Sooner or later she’s floating with all her tears, pain and sorrow.
Sooner or later no one will see that girl who walks confidently down the streets.
Smile plastered on her face with a welcoming hand.
Soon you’ll see head lines of who you always thought was happy.
But was dying inside.

When I'm scared
And could not feel more fear
This is where I run to
My home is a rats' nest,
That I share with you
My home is a rats' nest
Parity. Ambivalence.
Stolen at once -- mistake
Our better days pass far behind
Is a lie my heart betrays
My home is a rats' nest
That I share with you I
Invite your adverse conditions,
Your brittle healing hands
We stole parity
by mistake
Stole ambivalence
by mistake
We have detritus decor for days.
by mistake?
On the shores of her lunacy,
the lake before the sea
hidden well
before the ugly human ocean.
We own a rats' nest.
Rats' nest.

you know that
I wear my crazy
on my sleeve.

it's best if
you just
let me be.

aren't there other
train wrecks
for you to go
and see?

if you really
love me,
then leave.

because there
isn't anything
here to see.

"A Robert Palmer please, and two ultras for my friends here." sais the over weight man in pink golf shorts.
Of course sir
"I bet she purrs like a kitten between the sheets. Haha!" whispers the man sitting next to the pink golf shorts
"Look at that ***!", laughs the grey haired checkered shirt
"I'll smack it when she brings our order, bro.",replies pink shorts
Here is your Robert Palmer sir.
And two ultras.
WHACK!
Squeeze
They laugh

Head dropped
Tears fall
Shame felt

Yellow Haired Servant Girl

Older men drinking
They surround me want to be inside me I shrink away
I shrink AWAY
He tells me I’m beautiful says
You should be a movie star
He wants to ******* to a still of me on the screen
His wife sleeping in the other room
Men disgust me I wish I were dead
I wish I hadn’t drank so much
I smell like cigarettes my eyes burn
Don’t ******* cry don’t
Think of the way his hand on me makes my flesh curl
The one I love is gone he has always been gone
I’m in love with HIM
An older man he is off limits he can never be mine
I love him I know I am enough
He wants more than what she can be
That is me
Other men touch me and I want to flee
To flee into the arms of someone who has never held me
Outside of my dreams and confessions
I wish I could see more straight
I want to run away with him