God, is it you? God, did he speak?
If you spoke, can we really hear?
It was like a stake through my heart
Like a stroke of cold midnight
Premonitions drenched in fear - should you listen to such things?
How to know whose voice it is?
I heard it say, "he doesn't love you" via small moves
I felt it rip me apart, but maybe I wasn't attuned
These little ideas of reference that take or break
How to know who speaks? Do you speak the language
they use?
everyday carries what you've been looking for
stay tuned, to the world's beat
to the true things
to what you can see! these moments when you can feel
undoubtedly clear
and let go of your fear, that's what it is!

Want to know why I did not die?
Because I did write.
Want to know why I survived?
Easy - because I write!

I was 13 - I was lost
and I wanted to **** myself
I wrote a letter to, but instead
I had a story to be told
my own...though I did not know...
a brain to arrange - my feels,
my thoughts
Art up, broken child!
Bleed onto the page and go drain the pain!
Do something! Make sense!

The night was threatening and I could not sleep
Everything so sharply and hurtfully real
I touched life and oh, ****** blisters
all over me
Opposites coming close
I am the mixture of them all

And my soul was shabby and in ruins
I could not tell what was me and what wasn't true,
so many times
Nothing was clear but the soreness
I felt, yet that was the proof I was there, too.
Art up, broken child! Do not lick the wound,
stitch it with a few rhymes!

And there were faint rays
of what could be
The kiss I never got these days
The dreams I had that got delayed

Later, the flow got stopped - because I got clogged
All pain, all emptiness, all doubt
Frozen inside, fetters outside - caught up
I decided to retreat because I could not be
yet I thought I was striving to be freed
Had no certainties at all, so my mouth I shut
so my power I shunned - I was blocked

So I can never shut up
without shutting down
And my words came back at me
as soon as I entered again the scene
I am here because my pen never sleeps
Therapy can be expensive but notebooks
are cheap

Yet now sometimes I feel so full
My pen is bloated in it too.
And we lie happy, satisfied,
just seeing things go by,
just wanting to be by your side...

something big
goes on when I don't write

Your friend Aitor's laugh.
Your blue eyes.
Sushi at night.
It's not true, it's not right.
But it feels nice.

Woody Allen's movies
The backseat of your car,
you grinding on me to reggaeton beats,
tonight it's you yeah, but it's also him

Look at me,
I am lost but I get some
I loved you in a twisted form
I need to get outta here, but in a sudden shift
you got inside of me
it was never you, it was him

Bitter chinese food,
the night I realized it wasn't you.
I came in your arms, yes, I can do that,
but my heart collapsed because I knew
it had to die, it never got born

He didn't save me
but I saved myself
close to him

I don't need him
but everyday is sweeter
when we are near

He's vital like fun
He's candy for the soul

I am the **** in love
And I just can't get enough!
He feeds me thirst for life
"Is is too real for ya?"
Sometimes he drives me mad
but our love is thicker than that

I don't need him
but he turns pitch black into bright pink
he's a spell I don't want to ignore
this man I do love

I will go into the cold, lonely night
With you on my side, with you on my mind
If we have to go through this again,
still we won't ever die.

My friend Brad said to get ready
for the coming storm
that's why I am kissing you so hard
that's why this night shouldn't end
that's why
I gleam like a demi Sun today

I wake up and I’m in fear
Last night I could not either sleep
I can’t sleep and I can’t live
This guilty tremor never leaves
Everything speaks about sin

And there is darkness everywhere
There is a darkness in myself
From the light bulbs gathered
The light bulbs, that make me scared
The light bulbs, they are so fake!
I fall further staring at them
So smothering they choke me every day
it's all me, it's all them

My head is mush, all mashed force
I can’t tell right from wrong
I am all emptiness and God
He is sickly – this I know but won’t show
Who is him, though?
I see the light bulbs - never the Sun

I call out the angels I’ve been told
Nothing higher than my beloved yoke
A light – it’s just another torture, another bulb
I am afraid to my core! So I can't get out
You can see pretty easy - I drown
I am beautiful because I'm dying

What’s wrong with pink?
With being girly,
loving the pretty or needing a kiss
With all the things I was taught
I was wrong to feel

I’m all pink – but you can’t handle me
And I do take pride on this
because I am not weak

Pink and fluffy – and it’s all okay
we want this - but you make us ashamed
I am pink but I still can be fierce!
I am pink, like flowers, like sunset,
like skin, I hold a world within
Let my quirky cute self be.
I am sweet but not a toy, you see?
I give my candy when, and to who I wish.