21 days
They say for the end of withdrawals
And it's out of your system
But my mind didn't listen
Because it's still enthralled

21 days
In ways I wish you were a drug
To explain this craving
I surely need saving
From the hole that I've dug

21 days
In a haze searching for a cure
Your infection is spreading
Tears over my bedding
How much more can I endure?

21 days
Here I lay still thinking about you
I must confess
I'm still a mess
But I'm starting to pull through

21 days
It pays to find someone new
When I heard his voice
My new drug of choice
To get me over you.

I try to hold my tears as long as I can,
So that I can drown out the world in front of me.

last night i found out
there is no such thing
as running out of tears
laying in bed
i realized
i won't get over you
this feeling won't end
it may die down
i might stop crying every night before i go to sleep
but there will always be a stab in my chest when i see you
i will always lose my appetite when i think of you
and my dreams of you
will always leave me in agony
when i wake up
~Tatieonna Destiny

You were an alcoholic,
And I was just another bottle.

Maybe you won't break
The next bottle you drink from.

I doubt it, though.
You will drink and break until you wobble.

You are an alcoholic,
And I let myself forget it.

As the days go by
as the months go by
as the years go by
picture of us fleet back into my mind
dreams about you conquer my mind
and I know I want to see you
I know I want you
maybe it was wrong timing
maybe I was young and stupid
maybe I gave up too easily
I did it
I ruined us
and now 'we' can never happen
'us' is a term used and done
long gone before I can forget about it
and I miss you
but I can't tell you
you drifted into the wind
with many significant others of your own
and I have mine
but I am not happy
my mind wanders and stops
right at the thought of you
I can't stop remembering
reminiscing
and loving
you

the open field before us
was a tall grass of a butternut yellow
it swayed in the breeze liquid almost alive
she lead me forward
calling back to me over her shoulder
with a broad smile
the sun caught in her hair
but her smile overwhelms the sunlight
and she remained to me within sight
as the rest of the world fell to the amusements of the stars
the air full of a false summer
she laughed at such an idea
and told me it was but yet mid-winter
and soon the snow will fly
gentle on its own goodnight path
of histories fallen and left obscured
in a single torn photograph
she leads me on
casting glances and bittersweet smiles back at me
this is your last road she calls out
and she is the gentle soul come to bring me to rapture
she is the love i never knew
the one that fell by the wayside one terrible night
so long ago its very fragments are nearly forgotten to me
but those fragments cherished
in a single time battered photograph
her blue grey eyes haunting
this is my last road
she is heaven
i am home

I think I
need to accept
that we're
not meant for
"facebook official"

We were hidden
behind locked
doors, whispers
in ears, hidden
under covers
with a substance
we could blame
our actions on.

We weren't meant
to hang on each other
in front of people who
could tell.
I'm good at keeping
secrets, I promise.
But I've never fallen
In love with one.

I don't think you intended
that to happen.
I don't think you
intended to fall
in love with it
either.

But your legs have
always been
ready to run.
So when it
became clear
that we could
happen.
That the curtain
would be pulled,
you wanted no part
of it.

And I think I
need to accept
that we weren't
meant to be
known.

i shouldn't have to clench my jaws when my feelings get hurt. my teeth are shattering at every fake smile i give when i have to look into your eyes and watch you look away. you touch my spine and you say 'have a good one'

i keep scraping my elbows for you.

band aids don't fix broken hearts. i peel them off but my wrists still bleed. i have a bad habit of scratching and scratching and reopening the cuts that you have made and trying to close them up trying to love myself.
how much of your life have you dedicated to leaving?

to the point where i rather have you than pass all my classes

you can't put a ring on it if my fingers are broken.
just because you like the idea of my hands doesn't mean your heart is attached also.
would you care if i broke my arms

i hope you rip your gloves again
i hope you cry over me

how are you doing without me?
how long do i have to be gone for you to finally miss me

i love and don't lie



you've become another story.

that day,
i wanted to break the glass in front you i wanted to scream in your face and beat your chest i was literally going crazy for you i walk out and i will never understand why you don't just understand that
'you can't break a girls heart and not expect her to go crazy about you'
why is time moving so slowly...

and i was wearing bandaids on my wrists and i peeled them off and put more on and peeled those off too and put gloves on and tore them and threw them away and put more gloves on and i couldn't stand and couldn't sit and couldn't keep working and couldn't...
the same song keeps replaying in my head.

i'm fine until i think about it. i hate you
you make me want to throw everything away

nice men don't cheat
and nice men don't lie

at nights i set my alarm to 3:30 to see if you will text back
it's 5:45
tuesday september 22, 8:30 a.m. i almost called you.
10:16
10:35
10:49
10:58
11:02
11:10
11:12
12:31
and then i lost track
i don't want to talk to you anymore


i haven't forgotten your birthday. i'm sorry for not memorizing your number.
i still have your pictures on my phone. i still get nauseous when i miss you
how could i let go of something so precious
i can still hear your accent.
i find myself saying the same things you used to tell me back when you still loved me the same song keeps replaying in my head
when i think of you my body hurts.



she only likes me cause we're not together
tell her i knew before you knew

sometimes i never want to see you again
i hurt you by leaving.



here's to pay your bills:


i'll forget about you one day. i promised i wouldn't

'text me when you make it home safely'



now i don't dress when i get home from work
now i sleep with my guitar
i wear my hair different

this is the closure we never had
from today on, every angel i will ever come to know will have a memory of you attached to it.

it takes two weeks for my wounds to heal. by the time i am done with this, it would have been two weeks. and this won't hurt anymore. and i will stop bleeding. and the cuts on my wrists will finally close. you were not a bandaid. you could never be a bandaid. i am sorry you couldn't close the same wounds you caused. i am sorry that it is hard to swallow. and i am sorry for apologizing for things you haven't done.
by the time you get this i would have listened to your voicemail 33 times
i do this for revenge
and i will never say goodbye


this poem is not incomplete. i just like to leave you uneasy. have a great life.


p.s. everything that i have written in here has been subject to what i felt at the moment. please do not think that i hate you.

p.s.s. it took me days to write this and i love you

p.s.s.s i wanted to get you a watch today

p.s.s.s.s you don't wear watches

p.s.s.s.s.s happy birthday



i love you

i love you