It’s raining red letters
And it’s not slowing down
Hitting the pavement
Draining the color in the earth
And it reminds me of my reflection in your eyes
Because you were the thorn in the side of my heart,
You were a rose with teeth
And your bite stung like a scraped knee
You locked me out as I banged on your door
The sound pierced the air
And I wish I was strong enough to rip through
To get to you
But I’m left out in the cold with a broken umbrella
I’m drenched, swallowed whole
And part of me wants to stay here forever
Standing on your porch
Because I feel like I can breathe when I’m actually suffocating
In raining red letters

Dazzlingly radiant as a whole,
electric eyes piercing my soul.

I try to hard for happiness in others, and in me.
I try to hard to rid the pain in others, and in me.

I try to hard to make others laugh at me.
I try to hard to make others look at me.

I try to hard to make others like me.
I try to hard to portray an image that's not me.

I try to hard to disconnect the me,
I became.
I try to hard to find the me,
I once was.

I try to hard for happiness in me, and in others.
I try to hard to rid the pain in me, and in others.

*I guess I'm not trying hard enough

My mind is like a clock
One that is maybe 4 minutes slow
(A good enough guess, I mean who really cares about 4 minutes?)
The hands are a bit wonky, pointing haphazardly at the number like its unsure
The numbers themselves are looking a bit rusty
But people know the basic layout of a clock
It's similar enough
It still makes the tick tock sound, albeit a quiet tick tock
One you'd have to strain to hear
But it's there, trust me
I am still useful
Someone will still need me
Someone will still choose me

A maul is not an axe;
an axe is not a maul.

One is for splitting,
the other for felling.

Of course to trees
such distinctions
are immaterial.

Walnut rounds
scattered on grass
stare into juniper
scratching the sky—

tall pallbearers
shiver in wind,
whisper above
dead medallions,
unblinking eyes.

The handle I hold
like a divining rod;

metal blade forged
by inchoate words,

honed on grinding
letters of precision.

I'm embarrassed to tell you
It's not something I'm proud of
I burn because it makes me feel better
until it doesn't
I know you don't get it
It's okay
I've been alone this whole time anyways

Ladies and Gentlemen, Today I am Taking You to an Amusement Park.
You Know It? It’s right between Bastardville and LonelyTown.


My favorite ride is depression, it goes so far down!
Abuse is like a Kiddie Ride.
The Bully Stand has the best Food imaginable.


Oooooooo, or have you been to The Freak Show?
It’s by the Broken Home Balloon Stand.
Ooooo, The tension on insecurity, and G-Force on Divorce will drive you WILD.


I love the Rejection food stand, they have some delicacies like the slit wrist salad bar, or even the starvation sandwich.


Shall I Go On?
The final ride is called SUICIDE, often times it breaks down, but when you ride it you won’t want to leave....

There was a road of broken glass leading to my paradise
With every step another cut that dripped
It twists and turns up into a mountain
On the way up there were goblins, dragons, rats and snakes
In the dark I'd use my lantern
Yesterday the goblins tried to consume me
After the snake told them where I wander
I was not unprepared
Which led to their despair
Onward I walked with bloddied feet until I had to climb
The rats scurried about*
Swaying across my feet
And that led to their defeat
My hardest battle was still to come
And I was not unprepared
So I walked proudly into the dragons lair
He waited there
And used every last breath
Until there wasn't a single one left

-Jennifer DeAngelo
Copyright 2016