I will always be too much for some people.
I will always be too emotional.
Too affectionate.
Too clingy.
Too needy.

I will always not be enough for some people.
I don't emote enough.
I don't display enough affection.
I don't touch enough.
I don't articulate enough.

I will always be too much.
Too damaged.
Too guarded.
Too cold.
Too paranoid.

I will always be too much.
Too strong.
Too opinionated.
Too passionate.
Too forgiving.

I will always be too much for some people,
But I'd like to think that maybe
For you,
I am just enough.

I realize
That not all men
****

That not all men
Beat

That not all men
Brutalize

That not all men
Leave

That not all men
Are destructive

But it's enough men
For me to be scared
Of all men

A new species still being studied-

They have a compulsive obsession with mutilating their bodies
They yank out hairs in the place on their face made for expression
Daily they scrape off natural hairs from their limbs
And from under them, considering the act as simple hygiene practice

Some will even lay in a chamber of radiation to cook skin browner
And smear a smelly cream to make the skin look slimy shiny and '****'
They scorch their head hair to change the texture for a day
And they draw on their faces with crayons made from wax and oils

They prioritize displaying of the body shape over movement
With their tight denim body coverings and waist clinchers
They wear coverings of their feet with a stick replacing the heel
To look physically attractive, despite the injuries and lesions

They're expected to keep a casing over their chest tissues in public
They hide their pheromones with alcohol and fake smell of plants
They keep private and hidden that they perform excretory acts
And they're never content with the meat casing they're trapped inside

Only (almost) satisfied looking at their reflection and seeing a lie

Darkness is what you will see
When you follow the wrong crowd
Life will sadly pass you by
No one will want to come around
Your issues with substance abuse
Will put you on a path of nowhere
Reach out and ask for help
And remove yourself from the bad air

The misunderstood
The kind beautiful souls
That care too much
Love too deeply
Laying in bed
With monsters
And demons
And devils
Holding their hearts
Hiding in their arms
Crying
Because everything hurts
Seeing the world as it is
Watching nothing change
It's painful just to inhale
And exhale
The simple act of breathing
Hurts
Nearly unbearable
And they breathe
And live
And survive
Through the pain
And heartache
Day after day
Stronger and more
Beautiful
For the happiness
They sacrfice
From themselves
By caring and loving
Too much
They see beauty
In the world
In other people
Sometimes real
Sometimes illusion
But rarely do they
See that in all our world
In all our truth
And all our faults
That it is from their
Own hearts
That the purest
Beauty shines
Feeling trapped
And chained
And lost
To darkness
Never knowing
Never trusting
Never loving
Their own light
Often not being able
To see it themselves
No one stopping
To say

It's ok...

I'm here with you...

Its ok to hurt
It's ok to sleep
With sadness
Buried deep in
Your marrow
It's ok
To be depressed
To crawl under
Your bed and hide
With your monsters
It's ok to dance
With your pain
Dance and dance
Until your feet bleed
And your whole being
Aches
Dance until the pain
Is part of you
Because
It is part of you

It's ok to be you

No one is free
Of suffering
Of sickness
Of death
But not everyone
Really feels
It's the misunderstood
The kind
The beautiful
Caring too much
Loving too deeply
That feel
Everything
And to feel
Everything
You have to hurt
Hurt down to when
Your soul was pulled out
Of the void
And into existence
Hurt back to when
Your heart took its first beat
Back to your unbearable
First breath
All alone in the void
Rushing into this life
Unknown...

Hurting

So feel everything
For those that hurt the most
Also love the most
And it is the purest love
Everything about you
The pain and hurt and heartache and depression and suffering and love...

Everything...

Everything makes you beautiful

There's nothing more romantic
          in my eyes
        Than holding your hand
   And talking about our lives
          Because in my mind
The only thing better than the fantasy
        Is the intimacy I feel
  When it's just you and me
            *connecting

I am from Bangle, the tiger
Believing he’d come alive and
Scare away my bad dreams.

I am from listening quietly
To chirping crickets on a starry
Summer night.

I am from being a military brat,
Climbing trees and scraping knees.

I am from musty, old basements
And farm chores at six in the morning

I am from a messy bedroom
And horse camp.

I am from candy corn, m+m’s,
And my grandmother’s funeral.

I am from exploring new houses,
Quickly running around
And playing hide and seek

I am from Christmas in Florida
And steaming strawberry rhubarb pie.

I am from my dad singing “My Maria”
To me as we cuddle on the couch.

That ***** Named Desire
I had a succubus try to take my seed
in a dream today   
I broke the connection and said
***** you gotta pay to playyyyyyy

You so used to controlling my desires
well, NOT ANYMORE
Best get on your knees and call me sire
“Sir you have the floor”

I wage war on the empire
of the realm of desire
So if you conspire to be in my line of fire
Don’t say I didn’t tell you,
    You’ve earned my Ire.

The rhythm of my war drum goes:
BOOM BOOM KAT TiS KAT
OHHHHM
Mah heart  BEATS ta da Rhythm of the
BOOM BOOM KAT TiS KAT
Dreeeeeiiim
We illuminate truth, or sooo it seeeeeeeeeeeeim
But still.....
The rhythm of my war drum BEATS:
BOOM BOOM KAT TiS KAT
OHHHHM



So I wage war on the realm of the evil fae
Ima PURIFY da demons until  
dey take me away (screamed)

Bleed out into LIFE;
  reverse the vampire effect
place succubi in a hearse
  and drive them straight ta deaph


cause lately You been drivin me crazy
and making my will, focus, an determination
sooo haeeezzzzy

But NO MORE
cause now Its time to
Settle DA SKORE


Ritually open my wounds
and bleed acid on you
Don’t worry theres enough
cause your hackneyed and few

Ima chase the Daemons off
Smoke my dreads to their lungs
and make dem young cough
so offten I put em in a hot-boxed coffin
Now your outta breath
But im just not stoppin

huh (echo(
whats this? whats this....(echo(  
Claws,
talons,
teeth,
and  uh oh
Blood barrels stacked Its a wierd supply depot,

for that army growin
and growlin behind your eye, see though....
They Perma-
        on your shoulders,
   and now mine, Truth Show





!!!!!!1111RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!!!!!!!11
So my wings tear free of my back
For so long they’ve been bound and compact
I look to my lovers and brothers and CRy
Stand!
Pick up your weapons,
Humanity,
Its time to act


A TRUMPET BLOWS,
   BEATING WINGS
THE DRUMS CONTINUE INTO THE DISTANCE


The rhythm of my war drum goes:
BOOM BOOM KAT TiS KAT
OHHHHM
Mah heart  BEATS ta da Rhythm of the
BOOM BOOM KAT TiS KAT
Dreeeeeiiim
We illuminate truth, or sooo it seeeeeeeeeeeeim
But still.....
The rhythm of my war drum BEATS:
BOOM BOOM KAT TiS KAT
OHHHHM

I read my body like a road map
My ******* become mountains
My hips are flowing bodies of water
Here's to the not-so-lean lines
That tell me where the highways are
The railroad is the predominant form of transportation
In the quaint little town I depict on my skin
Train tracks cover inch by inch of me
From wrist to chest to thigh
Smothered in scars
That tell you where I've been
And where I hope to move away from.
Every good map has a starting point
For me, that was ****** abuse
Was verbal aggression
Was gas lighting
Then the extra distance in the middle
Was suicidal thoughts
Was bulimia
Was starting therapy
Was never being good enough for anyone
I'm not quite to where I want to be yet
But I'm progressing to the city of
I am good enough for me
Now I worship these train tracks
No more fresh blood
But I can kiss the scars
I find myself in love with my existence
Rather than ashamed of my past
I will handle my map like ancient scrolls
Like a golden altar
Not settling for any silly lover
Who does not exalt this sacred land, this body
And to love where I am going,
You must honor each and every place
I have been.