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 May 2015
Eve Lastnamehere
"Stop talking like that."
"You're too young to feel that sad."
"Where's your mother?"
"Oh shut up, you don't have anxiety, it's just part of being your age."

**** those people.
I haven't spent hours upon hours sitting with a therapist trying to get over the trauma of my childhood and the **** being flung around me, to listen to ******* like that.

I refuse to watch my mouth around people I do not respect.
I'm not to young to feel.
My mother is to busy with her newest husband and his spawn.
Most days I'm too fearful to get out of bed because I might see people and most of the time I have to hide in my therapists bathroom because I don't want the ******* secretary to look at me.

15 isn't that young, really it's not considering kids like me grow up a lot faster than those around us.  My mental illnesses are no less real than someone in their 30s. I'm human. Not a senseless animal.
 May 2015
namii
He smells of nothing
sometimes of trees, salt, rain, and everything pure
like moonlight
he is the colour grey under flesh, muscle and cloth
like rain; fresh, gentle yet violent
a silhouette
elusive but perhaps far more beautiful

The paths have fallen in love with your footsteps
there are cracks in the asphalt where flowers bloom
I swear they are trying to wrap themselves
around your ankles when you walk

I stopped counting
while the mountains stopped screaming
and Sohrab, you are beautiful and breathing

On mountaintops these echoes
are hollow and empty as they should be
exactly how I feel when I look at you
and how I feel when I don’t

It’s a battle of sorts
I need the reminder that there exists
the ability to feel so hard the cold will not win this war
but I know that in the end it will

I know that you are scared to breathe so deep
your ribs scrape the underside of your chest
tell me, who wants to be reminded of their ability to feel so hard?

It’s a tremor under your bones,
you’ve plunged your hand into your chest
to stop the heaving, the hurling, the surging
but everything is fading violently,
spiralling
in a decadent whirl of stubborn silence,
clenched teeth
and eyes that refuse to meet

Nothing, I am nothing
 May 2015
Danna
Never
Will you ever
Have me back
But I know you wish you did
I was your first everything
I showed you
What love was about
I taught you pain
And ache as well
But you know I was well **** worth it
And even though you act
As if you are over me
Deep down
You know good as ******* aren't
You may kiss her lips
And hold her waist
But don't dare deny
You wish it was me every time
 May 2015
Miira
Tick tock
        Tick tock
                 Tick tock

It's already 5am
And here I am
Wide awake

As thoughts run
Through my head
Like a bullet train

Am I relapsing again?
Or I'm just on the edge
Waiting for a helping hand?

Or maybe I'm letting it be
For I've missed
Insanity to seep inside of me

Seeing that I am able to write
Shows clearly that
Hypomania has arrived.

Welcome back,
                 My frenemy.
Frenemy: An enemy disguised as a friend.
 May 2015
Chris
~

Dark clouded skies rest heavily
atop a slow motion morning
The faintest of breezes finds me
gazing upon this grey flannel dawn

The ash and chalk dust horizon
pulls my vision across a weary field,
as even the trees still slumber,
glistening dew dripping from each new leaf

Yet inside my heart is warmed
by the sunshine that glows brightly
because of your illuminating love,
cascading upon me in blue sky affection

And I say good morning beautiful
in soft whispers floating far beyond
the ominous heavens hoping to bring
*as wondrous a day to you as you do for me
Good morning Beautiful
 May 2015
Xyns
My life would be so much easier
If you would drop dead.
I was laying in bed last night thinking
And that thought just popped in my head.
 May 2015
Reshnia crimson
This poor old bear
Tag torn and tattered
Only a voice in my head
But you told me I mattered

Once snowy white
You've darkened with time
You've been through so much
And become covered in grime

Your fur soft and worn
You gathered my tears
A voice in my head
But you drove away fears

They can call me insane
But they never cared
I didn't let go of my mind
I simply shared

Poor old bear
You've been through so much
And even after so many years
You're still calming to touch.
 May 2015
writer
it's hard to not feel sad
when the same world
used to shine so bright
like you lived in a fairytale
now looks so dark
 May 2015
Astrid Ember
I floated in you as
we ran and you held me
against the wall
and I was very inside
your arms, I was
in you.

He came down as we got
high. You had me on
lock down because I
ran through the basement
and you couldn't keep up
very well. As they questioned
my ability to keep running
as my lips stuck to my teeth.

Staring at you across the room
your eyes raked my body
and your knees shaked.
I'm pretty sure you bit your
lip and stared at me
for awhile.

I was tripping in the hallway when
you came out.
The wall was liquid
and I was painting
with it.
I'm friends with your kind
of ex girlfriend
and I want to feel her
skin against mine.
I want her bones to
grind with me.
And I know I'm very ******
up right now.
But I'm floating in a crowd
and somehow I'm holding
my bladder down.
I am air
and nothing can touch me.

I have to be the image of
perfection soon.
So help me god,
I am no where near
having a halo.
I was very ****** up at a party when I wrote this at 3:40 A.M
 May 2015
Astrid Ember
My skin crawls
with the broken
promises you keep
picking out of your
teeth.

But I have my share
of those underneath my
fingernails so I guess
I shouldn't open my mouth.

We all have lies tucked
under our tongue
like the pills of a stubborn
mental patient.

My spine shivers
with the fact
you probably moaned
in her ear like
you do mine
and I feel needles
***** my skin
as I think of you
saying I'm no longer
needed.
But the way you
pushed me against
a brick wall, and
balled your hand in
my hair and held
me like I was
the only safety you had
during a hurricane
had me a bit dizzy.

You didn't know what
you were doing without
me, and then wished
you had never talked
to me.

But the way you
smirked as I moaned
your name
and the way you
inched your way
through my brick walls
has me obsessed
with you again.

You're a dark knight
and your armour
doesn't exist.
The only protection
you have is your
******* attitude.

I once said your
eyes were lassos
around my waist
and I never realized
how true that was.

Because it doesn't
matter what you do.
For some reason I
keep going back to you.
Rob
 May 2015
Astrid Ember
Like worms in the pit of
apples there are maggots
in the pit of my veins.

I am fossil fuel and
I'll run out eventually.
You can't depend on me.
   My skin is a monument
   and I am slowly chipping
   away.

Every lake is Elaura's
but they're still puddles
grass as tall as trees.
   Vines digging through
my cochlea, swishing the
liquid and I swear I
hear god coming.

The nineteenth you kissed
me. She was in your mind
all night and you stayed with
the man who declared me
"Mine."

My skin is crawling of nightmares.
and my eyes have spiderwebs
in them. Cobwebs of dead love
growing on my eyelashes.
   Don't expect me to cry.
   My tears are just dew
   on the grass above my
   grave.
     My tears are just acid
     rain decaying my memory.

The sharpie we swear
will stay decays under
my nails.

"I didn't try to **** myself."
    I'm out in four days.
"I was just ******."
    And these burns mean nothing.
I lie so often I don't know
what honesty means.
    I read it backwards
    spell it with an "A"
and now honesty just means
    a complicated puzzle and
    a kindergarten mind.

My veins are so twisted
I don't even know if they
pump blood right.

I don't really think I'm
alive.

He said he no longer knows
the person who wears my
mask of a face.
   The bones are ripping through,
   and I feel Jekyll coming out
   of Hyde.

I'll fall off cliffs and land
in lava before you work out
the knots of tree branches
in my joints.

   My tendons are worms
and my bones are cracked concrete
that you can't fix by pouring
more in me.

It tastes worse than brick
going into my lungs but I
stick it there
like a lock and moan
as it pierces my heart
and breaks a few ribs.
   Because it's smoke.
   I asked for the pain
   and enjoyed all three
   ****** of sharks puncturing
my arteries.
  
My heart is metal
but you still short
circuit
my mother board and
I swear this ship is
going down.

Let's make it the Titanic.
or maybe Romeo and Juliet.
Have people romanticize our
tragedy.

Then I'll smile through
my tears.
   Maybe we can bow during
   the standing ovation too.
I was really high when I wrote this too.
 May 2015
Chalsey Wilder
Oh, no!
          Let us
Rush from your hips
And grab your attention
Let us not mention
What you need
Let us not
Grab bowls full of greed
The tremors will come one day
That'll rock your world into something greater
Just you wait
She'll give you her everything
The everything she claims you can't handle
The everything she claims is limitless and **** near timeless from beginning with no definite end
It can last from hours to days
The sweetness she'll be milking from the shadows between your legs...
Girl, it's so enticing
The way we'll be speaking
In the nightly hours into the days
The way we'll be kissing till we're completely breathless
The way you'll lay your passion down on me, it'll be your little piece of cake
It's something to dream for and more
It's something to yearn for and beg for between bed sheets of my heat and your passion
The collision of our worlds becoming one, will be a magnificent one
Don't you dare hold back
I'll be welcoming your attack
I'll take you in till I can't anymore and then some,
I want you fully pleased till I'm beyond exhausted
Hopefully, your passion won't break me
And if it does, I'll be the loveliest of broken things
Maybe not a little piece of cake but the whole thing.
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