How are you?
I'm alright I guess...

Where do we begin?
Maybe at the start of this mess.

Are you uncomfortable?
I can't say that I'm not.

Is it your past?
Well it's all I've got.

Do you still get nightmares?
Well I used to...

Will you let them show?
Depends on you...

What do you hope to accomplish?
I don't know... Peace of mind?

Would you have done things differently?
Everyone wants the chance to push "rewind".

Care to elaborate?
Let's just say I would've liked to be braver.

What do you mean?
I should've stood up to my father...

Did he abuse your trust?
He did more than just that...

Rob you of your freedom?
Let's see... His belt, cigarettes and also boiling water out of a vat.

Do you wish him ill?
I wished him dead.

"Wished"?
Yeah...in his bed.

Why "wished"?
Because I wanted that then...

For how long?
Since I was ten.

What about now?
(Maniacal smile) I am now... At peace.

"At peace"?
I have found release.

You have?
Yes... I couldn't resist the urge.

Urge to do what?
To comply with the voice... "Freedom...lies in the purge..."

You left your father?
Yes but not before...

Go on...*
Not before I slit his throat with a smile on my face as I shut the door...

Find me a calm
In a place warm
Away from harm

Walked across storm

Silent place still
A gentle breeze to fill
High above a hill

A pain doth ****

Peace In the heart
Life a gentle start
Past to be forgot

Oh goodness did stop

None to hate
Not by fate
Calmness be the state

Still waters not too late

Answer my destinys call
Where doth my future fall
looking deep in the crystall ball
my journeys step stall

fear of failure fear to fail
eludes the victory heart frail
broken dreams in lifes trail
a ruderless ship broken sail

conjure thy magic crystal ball
Show my way in summer and fall
let not fail the hearts call
Courage to walk tall

Through the misty glass I seek
thunder storm lighting streak
Shining sun brightening souls weak
Whispered pains in ears doth speak

show my way let not fall
hold my hand hear my call
give me strength good for all
conjure thy magic oh crystall ball

The year hath begun
Storms may rage
hearts may break
disasters bringeth pain

yet love to prevail
happiness be a song
Doors doth open
pain doth ease

tis a life lived once
a journey to share
a heart to beat
a hope to live

Days swift hath flown
As a long storm blown
pain and joy few hath drown
even kings lost their crown

fortune and fame eludes few
sucess and love adorned new
Life for few lost without clue
Many a dreams lost as morning dew

Wars and terror held hearts in fear
Natures fury hath torn loved dear
limping hearts burden doth bear
failed ventures seeking dreams near

though many with us not
thank be to life we got
pain on gain love be not lost
Life lived a beating hearts cost

a time around the sun gone
Ups and down lifes song
though our way right or wrong
Lived and living a blessing in the year gone

Share to tis world
care untold word
spare a space in heart
Share the joy thou got
Care to the innocent lot
spare a few thought
Share a beat of heart
care doth cost not
spare the hearts love
share the days joy
care to give a smile
spare a space in heart
share what thou have
care for them doth not have
spare a smile to hearts sad

Sometimes words just can't say what you feel
And the most beautiful poetry is

the tears sliding down your cheeks

the memory of being too small to understand anything but a smile

holding someone's hand for the first time

the pain no one can really put into words, when you lose the most important person in the world

The daydreams and nightdreams and everything else inbetween

And knowing you are loved

I couldn't go forward
I couldn't move on
The day you left me
All alone

I cried all night
And looked at myself
It was all my fault
It was my mistake

I was imperfect
I was full of flaws
No wonder you left me
For another girl

Then someone knocked me
Into my senses
Telling me all the beautiful things
I've never heard before

I didn't know
I thought all over
The good things I had in me
Surpassed all my errors

I couldn't be happier
The moment I realized
The culprit wasn't me
It was you

i want to be with you
whether it is loud
or in silence
i want to be with you
in the evening, in the morning
and in between times

i want to be with you
whether evidently
or in between lines
i want to be with you
to speak, to think
to cry,  to laugh, to live

i want to be with you
no matter if it rains
or the sun is shining
i want to be with you
whether sitting, standing
or lying

i want to be with you
and experience much
taking and giving a lot
i want to be with you
in all times, in all places
for every reason

Drama is always on our tails;
Thank God I never learned to look behind me.

wisdom. love
of logic does never presume, dear heart.
Regressive thoughts are justifications for psychic visions.
follow a chain a progression into axioms into infinity,
it could revolve forever, and get to where?
I state, for I am, I know the thought.
For what I know is a circular statement.
I build rational, I reason, look more at the past, then the future,
I still have more probability, philosophically,
of predicting, or becoming my hope,
eternal.

She bore no children of her own, because her insides
Were turned to stone.
She had been abused so much before, till she walked out the door.
A woman who was as timid as a mouse, beaten and abused by her spouse.
How much more can you take, before it becomes much too late?
He was abusive in every way and she knew she could not stay.
She recalled the threat that he had said
If you leave I’ll hunt you down and bury your bones in the ground
She had to beat him at his own game; otherwise her life would stay the same
And she had to put a plan in action that would meet her satisfaction.
No one believed that she was being beaten for he was able
To leave her with no scars or black and blues, and she knew just what to do.
She saved her money and had camcorders put all around that
Could record every move and sound
When he came home drunk that night and started to abuse her and fight
All the recorders were at work recording every punch and ****.
When he left for work the next day, she took it to the police
So they could watch it play.
That was all that they needed to arrest him on site
With the news she jumped with delight’
She filed for divorce and started a new life
Remarried and is living a good life.
© L. RAMS 120614