You're so amazing
Always adorable for me
When you move,
It always makes me smile
When you talk,
It always touches my heart
Looking at your angelic face
Makes me happy all the time
My adorable angel,
In this lifetime, would you be mine?

You ask me,
Do I miss you?
How can I miss you?
You are always with me,
Your face behind my eyes,
Your soul sleeping in my heart,
The essence of you dances for me,
Sinuous curves shimmy within shadows.

You ask me,
Do I love you?
You should be asking,
How much you love me?
Then measure that feeling,
Holding it tightly deep inside,
Knowing that I feel just the same,
With every single fibre of my being.

You ask me,
Do I miss you?
Perhaps, I might sigh,
The very truth, though,
Is that I miss you terribly,
Is that part of me aches for you,
Though we are intrinsically entwined,
Sometimes, such closeness is not enough.

You ask me,
Do I love you?
Do you need to ask?
I live and breathe you,
As you live and breathe me,
Your roads lead to me, woman,
I am by your side, holding your hand,
One day, we will surely arrive together.

You ask me,
Do I miss you?
Everyday baby,
Never doubt it is so,
My pain is like your own,
Insomnia, numbing, yearning,
Hiding tears in the soft darkness,
But knowing, we will be free, one day.

©Paul M Chafer 2015

She sat
Cross legged
Tea in her hands
And just begged
That today would be a good day

Where do I fall into your life?
or is that all
do I just fall?

I struggle to have a good life and by this I do not mean a happy one, I am happy, I simply mean I want to live a life I can be proud of and lately my mind has been caught in a fishing net with every corner having loose truths and conned dispositions, I dream of a life with nirvana, with such a profound amount overwhelming peace you can hardly stand it.
I have a special skill of feeling a lot when I probably shouldn't and feeling nothing when I should.
I still mix up left from right and often forget where I am going while trying to figure out where to turn next
I still mix up my rights from my wrongs
But I am writing my wrongs and hoping that doing so will help in the process of correcting them, forgiving myself for them
I am a hopeless romantic with the absolute potential to be alone the rest of my life
When love finds me, I am terrified
Staring in the face of commitment is beautiful but a risk I am often not willing to take
It thrills me when people say they do not love me anymore, it burns like a fire in my stomach and I sometimes confuse the likely possibility that other people are not thrilled by this
I think a breeze could feel like a hurricane if it hits you at the right time
I am learning to control myself and taking only what I need from the world
I am still baffled by the fact and also completely terrified at how when I look him in the eyes I never fail to be reminded of you
I will sometimes lay out to watch the stars at night but regretfully I do not even do this for my own enjoyment anymore I do it to think of you, I ask myself if you look at the sky for the same reasons
I have been told I am an open book, running through pages as if a strong breeze was rolling by, emptying all of the things carved into my skin, from by passers, best friends, ex lovers, strangers, blowing each syllable off the page
My mother has always been right and I always knew she was
I am stubborn and have a hard time moving my opinions or motives
I am slowly learning why natural disasters are given human names
I find myself wanting to catch your thoughts like raindrops on my hands and watch them dissolve, your words are a hurricane in themselves
I like flushed red cheeks and cold fingers warned by a fire
I enjoy watching attempted sweet talk however I am never sure how to respond to it
And no I do not drink to forget about other people's mistakes, I drink to forget about my own
I sometimes scream at the mirror, it is one of the safest ways I could think of to take out anger on myself
There is a pen connected to my mind and I often wish the people in books were real
And I love this world with all of my heart and I love life, I want to crawl under every tree, dance on every mountain, swim in waterfalls, drown myself in this world's excellence
Paint my body with it's colors, wash my skin in it's prayers, listen to it's music and let is resonate in my mind until it reigns in my brain when silence is too loud
I like opening doors more than closing them, I open too many and twist my mind into patterns I am alice trying to find her wonderland but there are no maps for the unknown
We have no yet crafted directions in desolate places because no one visits but I do
I need adventure to grow
And I am growing

I dont care about signing the divorce,
I've already told you that.
All I want is my kids,
more than just a few measly weekends,
I want them to not call her mommy,
I want my kids to learn from me,
I want my kids to know that I love them,
I want my kids to not be used as pawns
in your battle to hurt me.
I want my kids to not get hurt by this war
that you are starting with your arrogance
and inflated ego,
I want my kids to not be emotionally abused by you.
**I WANT MY KIDS TO HAVE THEIR MOTHER

She is beauty, she is grace

She is the wonder of the day

She is whispered on the wind

Spoken highly of by men

The very talk of the town

She is the thought that comes around

She is the hope in all of this

She's at the top of every list

She is the dream you can't escape

Although you don't look for a way

She is the light to a man's path

Showing where it is all at

She's the cause and the effect

Over everything there is

After all is done and said

She is all that there is left

She is the fulfillment to man's need

All the best that's gone to seed

Out of all of this and that

She is woman at her best

~~
I am not writing any poetry
Not a huff,
Not even a romantic mood,
I talked to a distress

Unto thee of say my friend:

The suffering of pain is more than a pain
Words of distress
No longer I can't say either

The story of that night
That is longer than a long night
That night, my love had died before the dawn

How do I tell thee

The suffering of love is unforgettable
Than the love you never achieved  
Middle of the night to about chest pain

When I could not bear it no longer
Then at late night I call a friend to awake
No longer I can't say either

My friend
O' my friend!
My dearest friend!

How do I tell thee
My soul grew dry that is more than a wither petals
No longer I can't say either

When the sudden stopped of time
I stood, Saw the closed distant door
No longer I can't say either

To be alone in everybody
Within a moment a known seems to be unknown
No longer I can't say either

The last thing to understand who she is constant
The story of the lost bright Star
No longer I can't say either

The door is closed
Maybe someone has locked
Alone, The sleepless nights of choking

One's that hard
Many pale faces in the crowd of strangers
Love is lost within too many hopes

How do I tell thee
No longer I can't say either
~~
@ Musfiq us shaleheen

"I don't care if I don't look pretty
Big girls cry when their hearts are breaking"*

They wouldn’t let me cry, they could have felt the tender lies decomposing.  But this pain knows nothing of the theft of day, of how lemon tastes for you, of predicaments of truth.( The arrow of meaning goes backwards and forwards when it doesn’t get stuck.) Silence is nailed against every word. This old story: they are speaking in the corners: look at her. But this is not a poetic novela if you care to know, only misery exposed. This vital flaw of violins, of not being composed.  Not everybody knows to transmute pain into a bridge of light. Like Jarrett did. This pain doesn’t need words, images, metaphors, brutal as it is, like a mating season. The echo rests in stone.  This pain is a wall breaker. The taboo of words. I won’t say more. I would let myself live inside this large momentum, this much I can save for today. The magnitude of tears takes me there, so close to the one I love.