History too holds space in the present

We kiss at a party just as everyone else does but it's as if two people had never touched before

We sit at a local coffee shop and it's like half the people speaking have something to prove, the other half deadly silence

Much like our dead reflections in the newspaper. None of this ever talked about but we know

Nothing is queeer than quiet understanding

Except maybe survival

Still We wake up beside eachother and find I've stolen the blanket again in our uncluttered apartment

This is enough to forget about our existence

For awhile

The air feels cold again
Like it did when we walked across the curved crossroad leaving winding footprints buried in the snow

When the earth seemed to be peeling off her color folding the summer back into her suitcase

the good thing about being lied
is you'll learn how
to cry
in silhouetted corner
of your room
that once
was your world—

the good thing about being lied
is you'll know how
to smoke
that piece of cigarette
hiding in your closet
to get rid of his kisses
that still linger
in your breath—

the good thing about being lied
is you'll get hurt so bad
that you'll realize
the feeling
of how it excites you
to be alone again

my eyes betrayed
me again,
unshed tears
engraved
on my face
with pain
and longing,
i've missed you

I pressed my head against the cool glass
My hand imprints the humidity that lingers there

The could that never would dances in the reflection of my bloodshot eyes

I was so close.

I carry around the
body of someone
that should have
died

I've been dancing on telephone wires hoping you'll call me again just to hear  my name sound like a ballet as it floats off your tongue

Lets dance in the ignorant nostalgia

I wanted her
She wanted me
We both wanted each other
But......

Am
I
Always
Going to
Feel
So
L
  O
     S
       T
?