handplucked, stared at, silence.
examined front-to-back, indifferent,
and dropped in a cylindrical hell
unlike any other you'd ever know.
subject, object, experiment.
a constant mire of hate, sin,
fear, death, lust. hate.
anything and everything adjacent
to violet highlights in calming sunsets,
a love for what can be despite what is.
inked by the growing bead in your chest
that pulsates when you dream of better,
more, the minimum. pure existence.
the bliss of firing off one round
of expression that might shift the world
and free you.
something you can't know
while others hold the jar and shake you.

Can you make a friend— like a craft project?
I know, I hear this parental voice, “just be yourself.”

All of my classes this semester will be in one building, but I’m a control freak, I wanted to walk my schedule, go class to class, like I will on my first day. I have a locker too—this is so high school—but I wanted to find it, try the combination and plan what I’ll carry. I have questions too, like how’s the wi-fi, are there charging outlets, and where can I get coffee?

Orientation is Tuesday—but who can wait until Tuesday? Classes start Wednesday.  I’d never sleep this weekend with so many questions. I’m already having dreams where I’m lost, late and embarrassed.

So there I was, this morning, dressed for class with my green messenger bag—doing it—schedule in hand. I went into a small auditorium with cushioned, crimson, theater seating—where my first class will be—and there’s this other girl, dressed for class, schedule in hand.

We were like twins, except she’s tall and black and I’m not. Right off she commanded me, handing me her phone, no preamble, no “How do you do,” to “Take my picture.”
Of course, I obeyed, I’m not from outer space. I burst 50 quick frames, as she slightly varied her pose and she did likewise for me.

Her name is Chella and she graduated from Yale last week too, with a ‘Bachelor of Science in Global Affairs.’ I think I saw her on campus once or twice but our paths had never directly crossed.
“But IS "Global Affairs" a science degree?” I asked skeptically.
“Probably not,” she answered, “but some of us can live with ambiguity.”
Her first direct, commanding phrase limns her personality perfectly.
Yeah, we hit it right off.
.
.
Songs for this:
Cruel To Be Kind by Letters to Cleo
Perfect Day by Povo
Are You Trying to Be Funny? by Everything But the Girl

A new boy named Peter came to our school,
A son of a billionaire,
But simple, polite and good at studies,
He sat next to me and we sometimes shared notes.
One day he asked me to go to his place,
I declined as it was dad's birthday,
Instead I invited him to our home,
Eagerly he agreed.
We are a close relative family with my grandparents and an orphan cousin,
Mum and granny are great,
They shate a close bond.
Our home is never quiet,
Full of fun, laughter ,debates,
Arguments and differences,
And lots of love, hugs and kisses,
Granny and mum plops kisses on my cheeks,
And will do so till they pass away,
With frequent visits from friends,
Neighbours who come to borrow eggs, tea or sugar or pop in for a meal.
On weekends sometimes we have outdoor barbecues,
My friend was amazed at the love, warmth and banter we shared.
After that he mostly came to our place and became one of us,
He told my family once,
I  have a mansion, not a home,
I have a gorgeous woman full of herself,
Busy with parties, meetings and her philanthropic work to make an impact on society
Not a warm loving mother,
I have a billionaire tycoon who is mostly is  not at home,
Not a father who has time to play football,
To talk to them I need an appointment,
My grandparents too are high society people,
I am rich put poor,
Thirsting for strong family relations like yours,
I am happy I got you.
24/5/2025

The World waits and waits
Enduring like honey's fate
Whence cometh the bread and wine
Steering the promise divine
Love with its naked body
Bewilders the devil of mental study
Tomorrows survive come what may
Yesterdays thrive in history's play
Patience may feel atomic and hollow
Testing the tightness of bow
Haste may seem trapping the Sun
Neglecting the brink of Rubicon
I always thought I could escape the night
Whether through fantasy or fresh fight
Little did I know that my peacock pride
Was but a ripple in the river of ride
Some States reach a modus vivendi
Even though roles may not be friendly
Other States ride out in crime's corner
Simulating the secret order of disorder
What was design of Life and then Death
First Yes, then this No to timeless breath
Mankind has stood the whips of Time
Swimming in inherited sin of Adam
God devised the celestial congregation
Enforcing the laws of derivation
Satan dissatisfied with being a minion
Rebelled against the restraining Union
And how about us searching for power
That frees our hearts with pearly shower.

Sometimes empty, sometimes full of feeling
Escaping from fear, yet, hesitant of the freedom
Looking away from the glaring light
That flows through the soulless skies

Outside there's rain
Pouring till the warm fear-ridden skies run dry
There's rain that can't be let inside the crevices
It'll flood prairies to drench a paltry mind full of vice

The heart doesn't respond to the warm smile
That kind, beady eyes and an understanding nature offer
On a cold, dead Tuesday night
It doesn't catch on fire in the damp air

It is paper thin, a fragile, brittle being that sways
To the light breeze that blows out the fire
Deep inside, whose warmth
It was never accustomed to, long ago

This twisted vessel with its worn sails
Buoyed toward the ocean for too long
I've been through these preternatural waters
Countless times, always turning back in vain

Sailing into the unknown amid the heavy gales
Hurtling into the distance where water turns into vapor
Levered by every wave that pushes along with the tide
I'm tethered by a thin thread, I turn to my heart

Now wait, from day to dusk
Come night, the stars will disappear
As more questions haunted me
They'll burn the battlements of your mind

Time often harrows those with the will to live
It brings with it profound sadness
And that's the narrow strait pushing us ahead
The oceans aren't meant for us

The mind ought to pour itself into logic
Against all notions, challenging the hindrances
Beyond all reasonable doubt
Building faith forever and ignoring the emotion

Despite having little hope left inside
Drowned in the oceanic scapes of blue and white
I'm washed by the distant sunset
Where the sun draws a line through blood red skies

Where one world ends, maybe another begins
To some the horizon may be worth reaching
But this is beyond the reach of my mortal vessel
And the mind can't fathom the distance

Yet it can take on raging storms
There is no moments of stillness for war-torn ships
So many have retreated into the night
Abandoning the journey

Hesitant on returning
Remaining blind to the brilliant sight
The piety disappears soon after
Only leaving behind a disturbed mind

Benign, hapless skies look upon the fierce eddies
That once threatened to carry them underneath
The way back takes with it the lilt of song
Only leaving behind a disturbed mind

The mind can take the beating of an arduous voyage
So show courage
In the face of utter defeat
Revealing the Achilles' heel of your spirit

You'll never hear the surface crack
But there are screams within the fiery depths
And I fear Death will take what I love most
When the structure falls, the rest won't hold

Still suspended in time
Still seeking an eternal sleep for the mind
So many times, the divine sages wander away
Into a dark copse of patterned leaves and interwoven roots

That the mildew has bowered the empty house
As gargoyles lay dry in a vast garden of vacant roses
Now barren, the thorns stick out
Scarring a mind in a state of constant fugue

It isn't my fault that this mind is ravaged by demons
It is shackled to the past when we waged destruction
It isn't my fault that the soul is a dusty tomb
It is at the mercy of time - a brief life of its own

Death will see the parts of your life
That you once held dear as memories
All as part of the incinerated earth
These possessions will become complete strangers to you

Erasing a fraying mind with pain
You'll spend years shifting mountains
So that swelling waves can fill the deserts once again
The sullied spirit can cleanse itself

Your dormant mind will never recover
From a lifelong journey of seeking forgiveness
The jagged ridges of rocky shores will hold back the tide
And soon, the dam will break unable to contain the past

Letting the waves of passion turn into violet roses
A violent desire turn into bruises
As virulent streams settle into the ocean
You'll be left with the remains of your soul

With every skipping heartbeat
There's are pauses echoing into the unknown
But like everything else, it is made of ether
And you carry it now for the rest of the way

If it means a glimpse of eternity
A moment of beauty
Then I've elevated myself in this love
It is a sinking feeling to be weightless, at times

Back into the unknown
Kicking, screaming, and tearing at the seams
The soul has fallen into an endless void
That the heart calls darkness

That the mind calls folly
That the world calls faith
That the memory calls love
And some of us call it an ocean

My daughter's friend in masjid,
She greeted me ,
I asked her how she was,
And about her cute daughter,
She was triste for not visiting me,
And promised to do so.
Actually I don't blame her or her good intentions,
I blame time,
It flies on autopilot
Flick of a finger morning becomes night,
Monday zooms to Friday,
And presto!
It's  the end of the month,
It seems just the other day was the beginning of 2025,
And it's already middle of the year.
22/5/2025