Fifty years of heart and soul
Sweeping back the ocean.
And what was my reward
A cardboard house in a redneck state
And memories I can’t remember.

Fifty years of heart and soul
Climbing every mountain
Reaching for a prize
Tied to a string
That every time ****** it away.

Fifty years of heart and soul
Giving and not getting
Being first to lend a hand
And last when hands were lended
All the while pretending not to notice.

Fifty Years of heart and soul;
Could it have been an error?
Should I have walked the crooked road
Instead of down the righteous path
That left me stranded in this desert.
               ljm

We're all stuck in this web,
judging eachother's struggling.

Hoping that,
when we die,
our threshing will resonate
with some meaning.

Hoping that,
when the maker finds us,
we will feel
fulfilled
despite our emptied
coffers of time spent here,
thrashing,

looking forward

in some backwards way

for justification

to explain

why we never broke these lines

that held us all so tightly together,

numbing us to feeling and

blinding us to pain.

It only hurts for a while
the cuts that bleed will heal
the bruises that blossom
will fade in time,

can you feel
it now?

Feel?
the way,
they told me it's long
and I thought they were wrong and they were,
it's even longer and takes a strongman to get there,
many are stronger than me, but the way that it was,
it was the way that chose me.

Whatever way is any way when you're not going
my way.

Being alone
or being a being alone, being alone?

I
play
make
friends
it gets serious
and the playing ends.

I had to grow old.
and
fortune favours
cold dice on
hot tables.

It only hurts for a while
the smoke
the smoke
the smile
when my heart broke
more smoke

It only hurts when she flirts
for a while, I will bleed,

she fuels me
I feed her
she murders
I murmur.

The way
is a long way and more

I breathe a sigh of relief
As I hear you let out a deep
And raspy breath -
The day has conquered your mind
And finally
You are asleep

I have sealed my life
Into yours
A promise to serve and cherish
To nurture and care

As you are content
As am I
As you suffer
So must I

Content in your presence
And inspired by your life
Your treasured soul

Sleep

The unknowing of you
Will take a lifetime
Sea salt and sage
Music in the mornings
Softness of skin
Roughness of hands
Coffee cold and sweet
Like loving you
Like losing you

Honestly,

I broke apart last night.

I broke

Over broken promises,
Failed friendships,
Innocence undone.

I broke
Over this last lost year
With all its fear.

I broke
After losing you,
And learning
Where you now are.

I broke.
I simply broke
Apart.

I was missing you a lot
So I went near the river and recalled our old memories
And there as I slept on the river bank
I dreamt of heaven and earth
I dreamt of you by my side
Birds chirping
Sun shining
The serene sound of the river flowing
Greenary all around
I dreamt of the mysterious galaxy
I saw the playful and evocative moon
I felt the power of the sun
I experienced the magic of the stars
I felt the black river that flows from your head playing with my face
I felt the warmth of your love
I dreamt that we were flying with the birds
Flapping our wings of love
I dreamt that we were travelling on clouds
Changing hues.. Watching the sun set and sometimes raining love
I dreamt that we were floating in space
Discovering the light of love in the midst of darkness
I felt safe with you in my dreams
I felt blessed and peaceful
My heart felt a happiness it had never felt before
I wish you'd come back wherever you are
Missing you terribly....