As I walk along the beach rubbing my belly
Remembering that it felt like jelly

Anticipating how handsome you are going to be
I prayed for you to be healthy and strong like me

Everyday I would talk and sing to you
Knowing that you was listening and singing with me too

Feeling every kick and tumble
Brought joy to my heart which made my heartbeat rumble

I always protected you with all my might
Even when I was in danger and about to fight

I knew you was going to be so cute
I couldn't hardly wait for that birthday suit

The day finally came December 7th 1994
Out you came almost in the store

You was a fighter a perfect little boy as perfect as a sparkling diamond
Your eyes was brighter then the sunshine that shined around the island

I was the happiest mommy there ever was I was so blessed
As you grew and got older I was always amazed by your finesse

You have grown into the perfect son,and an amazing man
I never could have asked for anything better as if it was all planned

Happy Birthday my son
You shine so bright like the sun

I love you with all my heart
My love is off the chart

Passing the sheets over his eyes,
"Boo!" Met with laughter beyond reprise.
Passing the sheets over his eyes,
"Boo!" Gazing through the stars that shine at night.
Passing the sheets over his eyes,
"Boo!" Soaking up little moments That are gifted, with the boy.
Passing the sheets over his eyes,
"Boo!" Wondering how long I can keep this up,

you know?...
Passing the sheets over his eyes,

"Boo!"

Afraid to blink, afraid to miss time.

For years I've been building my nest
Stick after stick nice and pressed

I finally get my nest built with small repairs on the way
Watching my little naked birds growing and gaining adult feathers everyday

As time goes my little birds are ready for Eagle Academy
They have their ups and downs what can I say they are boys guaranteed

Soon my little feathery birdies are growing like weeds
They begin to find mates some good and some not to proceed

I soon teach my little ball of feathers how to fly
They start catching their own food flying high

Soon my beautiful nest has become smaller
I start to lose my falter

My little birdies have grown into perfect eagles
I just sit and shake my head how can all of this be legal

Now that little nest I built stick by stick
Is so empty that it feels extinct

I continue to keep the nest cozy and warm
Just incase they run into a bad storm

My beautiful birdies have grown up and started a nest of their own
Now I feel all alone

your touch
your love
the laughter
we share
feels safe

As I was chasing the stars
I stood up on my handlebars

I jumped grabbing the most shinyist star that was so beautiful
The best star that was suitable

When my eyes met yours
I was hitting all chords

Watching you grow
All systems was a go

As you grew you liked to explore
You always have the best inner core

I grew more and more proud
I was always wowed

You was the best thing I ever  planned
You are my baby grand

You are my baby boy blue
You'll always be my everlasting jewel

When it comes to me I'll be ready,
I'll have a crib and a bassinet,
I'll have a picket fence and the teddies,
When it comes, it'll take a whole of me,

When it comes,
it'l be my chance,
To unravel my world and show it in the out,
Be that brave man I am inside,
Step on fear when my life's in the dark,
When it comes, it'll be a reason for every single thing I decide,

When you come,
You will never feel alone,
I know how hard it is to be stranded in the eye of a storm,
Most importantly,
I want you to know the truth,
About my ways and all my youth,
Its hard to live in a lie and learn to be good,
Whether its a son or daughter, Im waiting
I hope you come meet me soon.

  -Doc. Benn W.K

born 1900
when Austria was still a monarchy
    that did not know
    it was approaching its end

growing up as the daughter
of the mayor of a little district town
    big fish in a small pond
educated accordingly
as a ‘higher daughter’

   be a home decorator
   do needlework
   be a gourmet cook
   play the piano
   be a respectable member
       of the community and the parish

when she turned 18
after the end of world war I
the social order for which she had been prepared
simply disappeared

her father became a disillusioned monarchist
the town’s republicans elected a new mayor

she married a railway engineer
who left her after her daughter
    my mother
was born
she managed to survive world war II
as a single mother

watched her daughter
    fall in love with, at Christmas 1946,
    and marry in April 1947
a guy who had just escaped
from a Soviet POW camp
looked like a walking skeleton
       my father
AND
was the son of a communist
who  had survived  world war I
as a POW in Siberia

strange bedfellows

     they used to play cards together
     once a week
     with great gusto

     class warfare
     morphed into social entertainment

both my parents were working
grandmother  led the household
on the side did bookkeeping for local businesses
     to bring in some money
practically raised me and my brother
cared for us when we were sick
taught me to play the piano

was always afraid we would not get
enough to eat

for a while, as a little child,
I slept in the same room with her
and  learned that she had
a wondrously melodious snore
    going over an octave & some such

when, after grade school,
I had to leave at 5.45 am
to catch the train
    pulled by a sturdy steam engine
that took me to the high school  
    50km down the road
she was concerned when I
   rushing out the door
just grabbed parts of the breakfast
she had so lovingly prepared

when I left home for university
she was not happy
when I went to the USA for a whole year
she was disconsolate

she did enjoy her great-grandkids
when they visited, though

too much distance for too long
from the place of her birth
made her uncomfortable
in her later years
she needed a familiar place
that came with its familiar things
to do and know

she lived to be 87

I saw her last
after a second stroke
had mostly incapacitated her

a tiny woman
curled up
waiting to leave us
for a world that finally might heal
the pain and disappointment
she had so bravely mastered
throughout her life

our grandchildren are the reward
for not strangling our teenagers

the day you went
   into that other world
the day spring began
is etched into my memory

I know
thousands of mothers die
every day

but this time
it was you

my mother

to bend
to the limits
of our life

hurts

almost beyond words