"I can see my door, my bed, my window, my chair, and my table.

"I can feel my spine against the wall, my feet against the floor, my jaw tightly shut, and my fingernails buried in my arms.

"I can hear the wind coming in from the open window, my heartbeat rapidly thumping, and that familiar voice in my head, shouting once again.

"I can smell the dampness of the ground outside as the breeze carries it to my room, and the sickly sweet odor from the soap used on my hands.

"I can ******* blood spilling from the bite in my lip; my last harsh reminder that
        I
        am      
        still
        alive.

**** the witch
hogtied to this
thin-skinned wagon
packed with privilege
call me wicked
if it makes it easier
view my plight
as one of my own making
I should have done
as I was told

Brand me traitor
as dust obscures
this timeworn scene
I know what it means
to be a whole divided
drawn and quartered
dragged to all four corners
left for buzzards
along the walled
deserted borders

scattered limbs
seeking unity
I reach for what’s mine
only to find
healing hands
too tightly praying
too busy manufacturing
high ground
in this time
of righteousness

Label me other
as I diverge
light the skies
with fireworks red
belt patriot songs
I will not mouth
empty words
to an anthem
I no longer
believe in

Have you ever wondered if this world is the actual
hell we live in and if we are being tested
by how well we deal?
We are living in a place where pain, suffering,
and then ultimately death are of everyday existence
I understand that perception is everything here
and this world is an illusion generated by our perception
I am not trying to be a downer but the more I live
in this world the more I see it as a nightmare
that some days I just want to wake up from

This is not coming from my religious beliefs and I am
not saying that I am not grateful for everything I do have
Compared to a lot of other people in this world I do not
have it so bad and I know this.  This is coming from
a thought process I have been trying to come to terms with

Is there a bright light at the end of this very dark tunnel?
Of course we all have different journey's to take to get us
to that tunnel but while we are here our paths do cross from
time to time and we all have some of the same pains
sufferings and even death to overcome

My point is this...
We are all living in this hell together
Let's get through this hell together
This thought has become a shining
Ray of light in this dark
Find some comfort in this
and
Perhaps there is hope for us all

My pen is broken
My watch is broken
My heart is broken

The ink is soaked
The watch is choked
The heart is stroked

My pen strapped
My watch tapped
My heart wrapped

Pen was cleaned
Watch was whined
Heart was bandaged

Hand began to write
Watch turned the hour right
Heart sank with plight

I capped the pen
When the hour turned ten
I let my heart learn

©sim

Now the hard part begins
Living with a hole in our hearts
While digging a hole in the yard

"Just a dog” some would say
But if he liked you ten years ago
He’d be happy to see you yesterday

Buddy boy endured five different cats
They bugged him as they loved him
Their fierce protector in Freshwater

6AM and 6PM
He didn’t understand daylight savings
His stomach kept time

Happy to see us
Worried when we‘d leave
Of that now, we are bereft

Sweet boy, we will miss you
Biggie boy, you biggered us
With your unconditional love

In a midwinter night’s dream
  i found myself lost again,   
  or was it even this year ?
  It may even go back farther
  than yesterdays out of reach,  
  older than an ancient pyramid stone
 
Before the rebirth of past life deposits,
  unborn orphaned motherless sediment,
  flotsam of the ages adrift,
  unknown for more than a thousand years

... waiting for so long to see beyond the bounds

High atop a slippery edge-cliff
  i clung  ―            
Searching for a deeper understanding
  of who i am;

Roosting like a starving bird of prey
  with a broken wing
  born alone ... holding on
  With a fear in his eyes
that only i could comprehend
  
  Staring way down deep in the pith,       
into an internal pitch black abyss,
  just begging to see beyond ―
  Mindful it's so hard looking
  into the eye of a storm

Intimately parsing the recurrent source
  of reigning pain
Where the perpetual fog of isolation dwells;
an inversion,     preventing dispersion
  of the nimbus  cold  and  dark

In the darkness, there bides a suffocating
  emptiness,  
  A swelling silence what loudly knells,
  leeching through a perennial ache

An abating voice within hollers unheard,
  invisible as a bitter cold wind howling
  relentlessly through the hollow pang;
  Echoing the subsiding say
(squeezed out) ... of an orphaned soul
  deep beneath the light

Awakening to realize  ―  once i was alive
  and
i could feel me holding on to you



//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

That exchange of words fills a void.
A void of which one realises when contact happens.
Without those vibrations and pings a sense of being incomplete takes over.
The mind is engaged in attempts to prolong those moments, to stay away from silence.
It’s difficult to explain how elated one feels just by a presence virtual.
The exhilaration is not lost irrespective of discussions mundane.
Time and again there is a feeling evanescent, how beautiful it would be if together we were ever forever.

I Wish
I Wish I may
I wish I might
I wish upon every candle stick tonight.
I wish I was happy,
I wish I was bright,
I wish I was normal,
I wish I could put up this fight.
I wish I was able to have my mother hold me tight.
I wish I may
I wish I might
I wish to much in this fight.