My son always surprises me...
and is way more brilliant
than I ever was... especially at that age.
Out of nowhere the other night he says
"You know we are all connected" and I say
"How do you mean?"
I can see the wheel just a turning in his pretty
little head and he says "we are related...all brothers
and sisters in this world." I agree with him and say "so
why do you think everyone fights so much?" and
without missing a beat he says "because they haven't
figured it out yet" <3

Too many shattered Mirrors
Mirroring my sins.

Too many walls
Hindering my wings.

My growth remains
  still
as silence Kills.

How do you love the
Unloved?

Honestly
You make me numb
Like I don't know whether I should scream or cry
Do I walk away?
I feel like I am going to die
You bring out the worst of me, dear
Despite everything, even when I'm numb
Even when I am colder and harder than ice
You manage to break through the surface and hurt me
Even through this lethargy and dull ache
You hurt me so good, it aches so well
And yet I just want it to stop
You make me numb, but you break through it too
Honestly
I just wish you'd stop.

Stop acting like you care.
Stop pretending I matter.
Just let me go numb.
Your beautiful words scatter in your absence
And there's nothing I can do to protect against their sharp fragments.
So just stop, why don't you?
Let me go, allow me to stop feeling
For anything would be better than constant aches and pains when you're not around.
After all of this, our time has been short
And somehow it feels as though I've known you for years.
Why can't I numb myself against your smiles and laughter? Why can't I harden my heart against your soft reassurances that you care?
You don't act like you do.
You ignore me for days, without a single explanation or word
Then pop up out of the blue, with maybe one word
You don't answer me when I ask if you're okay
And when I say that I'm not,
You don't even bat an eye.
Let's face it, dear:
Even though it was never me
It was always you.

“Some people are never far away...”

I am thinking this--
bouncing tipsy on pool floaty
at my daughter's new home
in 'burbs of Philly
Sipping wine
on a pool floaty
thinking this--
  
abstractly

Sipping wine
in odd peace
on a pool floaty
cool and soft, the water
Cicadas scour the air

...Knowing it's not true....

I had watched them from my porch
leaving –
since the day they came
They –
and the robins too, headed south now
tumbling in their groups
that garble time
that sketch horizon
with a maze of staggered lines
Watching
geese--
their backs and wings gleam
in golden V
across the sunset

They are honking as they rise, raucous
from river in their flight
My daughters do the same  
Migrating south from Scranton
waving, honking til their cars have turned the corner
out of sight

...on a pool floaty
fully clothed
I watch them
drenched in the darkening sky
tasting salty streams

Intoxicating sounds
their laughter
their voices--
How I love....

cicada droning
in the lush of background green

I will keep this moment clutched
to me
all I have of them
between these moments

I live between moments
of nothing and everything