i know recovery isn't a straight line
and i'd be lying if i said i wasn’t scared
when i look at my reflection.
life doesn’t get easier.
the desperate tone of your voice
explained that.

Trace these fingers
On the scars etched into skin
This past
Is now a work of art
Its the mystery
That leads to
An interesting conversation
These are survival wounds
The rough bumps like medals
Worth more than bronze silver or gold
It's a Bafta
The lifetime achievement
And each story
Is the best-seller
Worn with honour and pride
Each stitch represents
Bravery and strength
You stand
Tall and powerful
Undefeated
Meet the gazes head on
And use your past
As the exciting build up
To the ******
Be the idol
To create your own unique blend
Of perfection
Perfection with an art of scars

You could be so pretty
if
your hair was straight
or at least neat 
and not fire engine red

You could look so lovely
If 
you didn't insist on wearing
tatty jeans
Yellow Dr Marten boots
Dropkick Murphys tees
and you weren't covered in tattoos

You could have a better life
If
You hadn't married
that blue eyed
empty pocket
*** smoking
dreamer

You could have more time to clean
If 
you didn't waste it
writing pointless poems
with your head in the clouds
listening to that awful racket

You could be more ladylike
If 
you didn't attend protests
railing against politics
didn't smoke, drink,
swear like a sailor
and stayed away from mosh pits.

You could be better
If 
you were a lot more me
and a hell of a lot less you
After all I've done
You were not what I was expecting..

Well, it was good talking to you
I love you mum
I love you too..
Lets do this again soon!

You stabbed me 24 times and slit my throat
then dropped me to the ***** floor
as I watched, you walk away from me
You stabbed the man who tried to help me twice more,

You left me drowning in a pool of my blood
and never once looked back to see
you just kept walking out the door
as my lifes blood pour out of me,

There was a young Sergeant
who came running to my aid
ripping the shirt right off his back
pressing it to my neck to stop the spray,

He saved the life you meant to take
you didn't even ask if I'd died
my heart stopped twice that night
Oh how those Surgeons tried

I'm the one left in a prison
while now your'e walking free
"No Remorse" I was told
for what you did to me

But Know this My Dear Leo
if I ever see you, you better run
no one will have to wonder Why
You'll answer to my Gun.

Hot summer nights have come around again.
With them my memories of you.
The way you squeeze me close
The smell of your clean sweat and aftershave
The way you look after a hard day at the office
The way you forget to get a haircut
The way you run your hand through your hair
The way you twist your fingers in my curls
The way you taste after a beer
The way you howled in pain at putting our dog to sleep
The way you always know I'm feeling bad
The way you calm me after my rage has taken hold
The way you never argue
The way you dress me, wash me, love me
The way you deal with me, my moods, my MS
The  way you'll stay with me until the end
This I'll know, even when I start to forget

You lean over me,
Reaching for some product
That makes you either

Taste, feel, look or smell like
Things hanging from
Trees in warm countries, or

Nails pink, black or back to
Natural. Upper arm so
Close to my face

I can't resist
Leaning into it;
Mouth and eyelid

First. You shift in
Confirmation. I feel and
Smell; find myself

More than six feet under
This divine concept
Of Woman. Girl. Other

Half. God in Man.
Buried and blissful.
Breathing with ease in

The sweet soil that
Covers
Me.

I just feel that the only way  
I can release my pain is through writing
I write my heart out in hopes
That it will bring me closure
Maybe some answers
Like why ?
Why is life so cruel to me ?
Why is it that when I lay in bed all I want to do is cry ?
Why is that I seem to mess up everything ?
Why is that everything seems to go wrong?
**Why ? Why ? Why ?

~
Violet moons
in lavender skies
Whispers on raindrops
and twilight kissed sighs
Buttercup daydreams
in rose petal white
Define my thoughts
of you on this night

Pine cone aromas,
and cool morning dew
Mountain top moments,
a beautiful view
Snow flurry sonnets
and orchids at play
Define my love
for you on this day

Butterfly wishes,
blue oceans a' dance
Porcelain passions
and springtime romance
Sweet chocolate visions
of everything new
Define this man
*the day he found you

⠀            there is one girl i know.
⠀            her voice is of angels,
⠀            too perfect for this earth.

⠀            her voice could make
⠀            even the most stubborn
⠀            flowers bloom early.

⠀            her voice is the rising sun
⠀            and i can’t wait to wake up.

⠀   yes i do like music and catchy tunes
⠀         but the song that is your voice
⠀              is my favourite one yet.

⠀                          - BZQ

The constellation of the night sky
Dotted with Asterism
Calling our attention to the mystical lights
Plotting an image on our minds
The celestial space is where minds wander*





© Amitav (Radiance)