i.
every moment with you
feels like another memory
to keep me warm at night
when you leave again

ii.
every jacket i take
loses it's 'you' scent a little faster
or maybe you just stay away longer this time

leaving me with a jacket smelling like my empty room  

iii.
memories and jackets and "this number has a voicemail box that has not been set up yet"
you have spent more time in my dreams than in my arms
this isn't how i thought love would be

I feel it....
The urge,
The scratch,
The knuckle,
The crack,
The sound,
The glimpse,
The silence....

Change, inwardly evolving into every step I make, every word I say, every breath I take.
What is at stake?

I struck myself at a forsaken introspection.
Becoming, someone new.
Someone dark, and someone light.
Someone who I never thought I could be.
Intensity strikes and the magic I have been hiding resurfaces.
I am many forms...
Of me.

I then, start to see.
She was just a cover, but now I unfold and surface at my most enlightened peak.
I feel me, I know me.
Yet, it's a monumental battle of self, constantly changing, having different outlooks.
Allowing perception to take shape into different formulas.

I found myself, lost in the darkness, and lost in the light.
The substantial view of solitude has awoken a part of me that was lurking in the shadows of what I thought I was losing.

Space, moving slowly, at a pace, with no fight or race, but a high vibration of intentional awareness that I now foresee, down, and high, the pits of me as I grow to actually be.

The me I had lost, the new version of what I thought me would be.
Profusely intertwining with chaotic yet peaceful mindless thoughts.

I feel it...
No hassle,
No chase,
No worry,

Just peace.
I accept me.

Raw and uninhibited
Passion is unlimited
Lethargy’s been,
redistributed
If you’re a rebel without a cause
Than I’m a dreamer with some to spare
Our entropic revelry we’ll share
To make the world fair
Burn it down
Without a care
Put them on the ground
Smug when caught,
No longer when shot
A ringing, melodious sound;
Wall Street,
on its back feet,
Tumbling down
Avarice assailed,
No other options when
Democracy’s failed
And either side, is on their own side
And neither dissent abide,
They can’t break free
Of their lust for currency
So when mere anarchy is loosed upon the world
We’ll just love to watch it all unfurl

she smiled at me
"we can't do this anymore"
the curtains were drawn
we were left as neglected fetuses
i began cutting my strings one by one
her touch haunted me in my sleep
after tasting the bitter morning
my pale hands delved into my chest
past transgressions reveal yourself
the night came after orange withdrawal
she returned with a silent kiss
we stepped into styrofoam
her passiveness was almost comforting
we shared apricots and drew red lines
into each others' skin.
the peachy morning sun rose
and it all came up in tears
i vomited on my white sheets
in disgust of myself

I ponder in awareness, deep thinking alert.
My thoughts alive and reached at a higher awareness than before. Every question I asked myself, every intention I grasped from others, I know the answer to.
I can feel it, I always thought I was crazy and I always thought it was all in my head. Then I realized it was just manifestations of physical formalities. I always thought I knew too much, now I realize, I actually don’t know enough. I want to know more. I want to know more because knowledge is power and power is control. If you ask me what I crave the most, it’s control. And the only way I can get control is by learning more and more until I diminish into tiny pieces. I lost a piece a of myself a long time ago, I’ve been alone the past few week since I got kicked out of my old place. I haven’t had many interactions with people and I’ve been alone everyday. I’ve been crying and feeling pain because I feel lonely. Which is not the actual fact, because it’s all just feelings. I’ve cared so much what others think I lost who I really was. So after weeks of isolation, I found who I really am. I lost everyone I loved. And I lost all my friends. People don’t care about me, because caring about me means making time for me and actually being there. People are too wrapped up in their own lives to even try. I always thought I was the burden. I always thought less of myself. For someone who cares so much and loves so deeply, I know I am valuable of more. So the question I ask now, is, WHAT AM I?
Since my human thoughts have manifested answers according to life changes and time for myself. I know I am destined for more. For one to write such amazing poetry an philosophy at the blink of an eye without even thinking about it. It flows out like word ***** and it never stops. For one to be so intense and intuitive it scares the blind ones away. To be so intelligent and mystique, an intuition of pure knowledge and wisdom, I ask, WHAT AM I?
I’ve never felt human, for years. It’s a general thing, everyone is gifted with certain abilities that makes them god-like. A human term “god”. But people block off these abilities because they scared of what the power can do to them. I know what the power can do to me. It’s already killed me inside and I never was scared of it. I died for the pain and I transformed. I rised again and astrology itself isn’t even in its rightful existence to my knowledge. What I know, what I seek to know, is above universal laws. The planets itself. Matter, atoms, molecules, the brain, cells, skin, bones, spirit, soul.... I AM MORE. I ask, what am I? What was I before I was human? How many lives have I lived to have such wisdom. What was I before I was sent to earth to carry my purpose and help people that cannot be helped. My quest was always to find myself, I found her. Now I need to know what I truly am.