I just nodded my head
Gave him the gracias he
Wanted, went off to bed
I felt dead
Unwanted.

Vital signs inviting death
Take my last breath
I want to be free
Take this life from me
Thoughts of you in my head
Just leave me for dead
Watching this time accrue
I'm sorry, I love you

I never meant to live with you,
And certainly not at twenty-two;
Now I've lived to sixty-two,
And ready
Just to die near you.

I tried to fit in
I tried to be responsible
I tried to do what had to be done to make a living
And all the trying brings me to a phone call asking
to let me walk out the most painless way possible
I tried too ******* hard

lost myself
on the edge
so close to the
tempting death

loving eyes
overlook my
vulnerable heart
exhausted life

If only
if only it were. ...
       If only. ...
if only I held the same gleam in your eyes as you do in mine,
if only it were our common place to meet in a beautiful silence
Where the look in my eyes automatically told you the story of my
irrefutable love story,  starring. ..you!  
If only it were. ..
       If only. .....
if only I held your heart as you hold mine,  yearning in the
palm of your hand for your desirable love.  If only it were. .
if only it were me,  just this one flawed, delicate, woman.
  Saturated in past pain, marinated in present fear but
loving so strongly. ..that was solely the one you desired
above the rest.
If only it were. ..
         If only. .....
if only you understood,  that the moon is much closer
than you think.  If only you knew that it was I who speared
my soul just to bring you the brightest being in the sky
to help light your path to walk with me by your side. ...
if only it were. ....simply you, shamelessly loving me with
the same energy I exude while walking over broken glass
just to simply be noticed by you as others perfectly are.
If only it were. ...

It's like all the time you were gone I was holding my breath and though I didn't know it at the time, I held it out of hope.
The hope it was all a dream.
That I could grow stronger in the lack of backbone that you were to me, tangled beneath my skin and the blood I bled each day.
I held my breath because you took it away.
My soul deprived of love from you.
My lungs learning to breathe alone.
But I can't breathe without you.
I might die without you.
Deprived without you.
No reason to survive without you.
I live for you, love for you.
Get by each day, week and month for you.
For you.
It's all for you.
I work for you, awaken for you, I'd travel day and night for you.
I am you.
I'm here for you.
I'll support every decision you make for you.
Because I make mine for you too.
And we are one though we look like two.
Maybe one day you'll say you love me too.
Again and again.
And I'll love you again.
I'll love you forever.
I'll be your best friend.
Because you are mine.
I'm forever yours.
And my love for you will never be forced.
It's lasted all this time for you.
Don't ever doubt that my love isn't true.

If you were broken, and i had the parts to fix you
i would work on you both night and day
but, i'm afraid the parts that i use would mix you
and take the best parts of you away

Remembering the fires we stoked in each other's hearts ~
Mine still burning wildly ~
Yours but a gentle flame ~
As the autumn afternoon folds her arms around me ~
Won't you let me come inside love ~
And warm me from this chill ~


Copyright Tia Jane Fajardo

Weak I was and weak I am
My heart breaks for her once more
I play the game of love when I can,
But I cannot even score

Cry I did and cry I do
I cry to sleep every night
On my cheeks the tears they go
Oh what a terrible sight

Loved I tried and love I try
But I'll always end up hurt
Once again my poor heart tries
And the blood, out if it, spurts