if i woke up this morning and decided to off myself
for the first time in my life
i'd be putting myself first.

my heart got fat

i won't
be able to get anywhere at the last moment
jump into arms
fall in love
crash against compromise

from now on
i'll be always in advance
                                            at waiting rooms

Love has always been my greatest Passion
Expressing it in many ways to support everything and everyone around me.
I've always felt that I needed
to be strong, to be consistent, to be right and.. to be okay
Specially in front of my love ones.
But there are nights when i'm alone
Sitting or laying in bed
Staring at the walls or at the ceiling of a room
Its as if all the insecurities, worries and fear
comes crushing down my mind
Like a rushing waves that strikes my heart
Its eating me alive
--------------------------------------
Many says, "it's okay not to be okay"
But they don't know the struggles within
Those awful moments, that you just couldn't bear
You want it to stop,
you kept on doing things, just to keep your mind off of it.
But in the verge of everything going right, you feel empty yet full of regrets and pain that you don't even know where it comes from.

In my night
terror,
I hear the pounding
of
your wings, ripping and
tearing
at my feeble heart.
It's beating,
but
barely;
bomb blasted by your
attack.
Your love is like
a stroke;
like a bloated toad.
I'm road weary,
teary eyed, like a
sunflower.
And you scream in
the darkness like a
lamb.

I long to *** in
you.
I'm like dentures
chewed on by a stray dog;
teeth missing,
jagged like a
jack-o-lantern.

Damage control is
your best bet.
I let you way too
far in.
No turning back now.
I'm like a dumb
cow led to slaughter.

I'm miles away.
You're on a
different
island.

Stars whispered,
As if divulging a secret:

'I'm but a scintilla in the universe'

Every time she
kicks me out,
she throws my stuff
away:
my clothes
my books
my poetry.
I'm broke like
a toad.
I can't afford it.
No bother--she just
throws it all away.
No apologies.
I come back, and
ask, "Where's my stuff?"
Away...
Far away.