Thought I saw you today
But I was wrong
Was the hair that got me,
Chestnut, so long
Almost followed at first but
Good sense came along
And I knew within my heart
That you were gone.
It would be awkward anyway
Talking again,
I would lose my voice after
"How have you been?"
So much has transpired
'Tween now and then,
I'm a different man
Since you've been gone.
I thought I saw you again
But I let it go.
In spite of what it looked like
At heart I know,
I never saw you leave, but
come ebb and flow,
Time keeps telling me
That you're still gone.
Maybe it's some stress-based
Hallucination.
A figment of an exhausted
Imagination.
Anxiety tied to this old
Separation.
But I know it's not you, here,
I know you're gone.
I thought I saw you, again,
In flesh and bone,
Didn't look a bit different since
You left me alone.
The world keeps on changing
So much is unknown,
But I know I couldn't see you, now,
The dead stay gone.
She's frozen in my mind the way she was 16 years ago. Now I'm ten years older than she ever got to be, and this big part of my heart still skips from time to time, convinced that it just saw my big sister again.