Clara Oswin

Clara Oswin May 2014

-

Is it funny that i miss my demons?

Surrendering is so seductive

Clara Oswin May 2014

**** this constant pointless battle
Because all that i ever hear
No matter what i'm doing right or wrong is:

Stupid coward weak and selfish

And at least while i surrendered to the obsession
With ribs and love and hope, perfection
There was a way to win.

But **** this endless battle

I know that i will never be good enough. Not good enough to recover. Not strong enough to be thin. Nothing will ever work so why the **** do i keep trying? **** this. **** it all.

#ednos #edrecovery

Clara Oswin May 2014

Please, stop

You told me you still loved him-
after everything he did to you
And i wanted to scream and cry
because that is absolutely insane
And hold you because i know it's hard
To let go of everything holding you down
And how easy it is to surrender to sadness
please, i don't want to see you drown
In depression and *** and falsettos
Of love.

But please baby.
I may not be able to hold you like he did
And i cant kiss away your demons
But i am here
And i love you.

Let me in and i swear, i will give you everything

She deserves more and i wish to whatever ******* god there may be that she could see it

Clara Oswin May 2014

Can you hear me yet?

Hold me while i yank at this sorry thing i called a body
I will tear the flesh from muscle
And scream until he hears me.

He hurt me and used me and left me to bleed.

So now how do you like it that i'm bleeding from my arms and from my throat?
Now that everything is gone, will you still say you loved me most?

Let me go let me scream
Until the emptiness draws me in
Weightless but heavy like a black hole

#lonely

Mar 2014

Xyns

The Way {Extended}

It's nice
The way you run your hands over me
Moving almost desperately
It's like a flood of truth
Bathed with destiny

I'll admit it used to scare me
But now it's only right..
Because you're mine

No other hand could caress me
So perfectly

Smoothly, a hold so soothing

It's cute
The way you explore my body
Trying to learn my everything
It's like a moment of love
Caked with honesty

I fell in love with your curiosity
Aching to know..
Exactly what we could be

No other eyes could look onto me
So loving

Flawless, our imperfections seem

It's great
The way you move inside of me
Pleasing every single fantasy
It's a motion of wonder..
Sprinkled with amazing

It's a love too real to be used
The truth is honestly..
I wouldn't make it without you

No other body could fit with me
So wonderfully

Passionate, moving so beautifully

#love #passion #lust #beautiful #fallen #together #forever #amazing #destiny

Clara Oswin Mar 2014

Simply am

I am made of coffee and cigarettes
Empty and serene
Standing on street corners
Clutching coffee stained pages
Of dull, beautiful poetry

I am the girl at the back of the bus
Staring out the window as
Thick trees spin back
Wishing i could be them
Spin back and change the past

I am lost in a world that is webbed
With spotty blackness
Burning across my vision
It is dull and grey

I run until my muscles throb
And let fat come back up
My raw black throat
And when i arise
The darkness sets in again
But i must not collapse

I don't want to eat, i need to starve
I don't want to be, i need to stop
I don't want-
It doesn't matter what i want
What i need, what i feel

Because i am empty and dark and sad
And i do not matter

#cutting #words #sad #depression #me #anorexia #bulimia #ednos #starve #serene

Clara Oswin Mar 2014

Rising

This watery moon reflected by the sky
Is a clearer image as it gets high
(Funny how that works)

The sky looks different when it's drowning
In the sea, waves engulfing the stars
Leaving only black with wobbling white

We're all suffocating
Under the weight of this world
Drowning in a sea of inadequacy

But head up, above things are clearer.
No more or less beautiful but
Higher,, less lonely, and infinite, full of possibilities