How can you embrace these icy lips
Knowing that they've kissed razors
And how can you trace my hips
With the tips of your fingers

When you see the bones begin to show
And red lines crisscross this skin again
When my skin both feels and looks like snow
Ugly and cold like the beast inside

And how can you scream
"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?"
While i'm sobbing on my knees
Crushed by the pain inside and out

I CANT STOP. Cant you see i ******* try?
Fighting to finish dinner, to keep it down
So i'll try and try and scream and lie
Because i don't want you to see

You love the girl who gives eskimo kisses
Who lies awake with you for hours
And ***** you and loves this
Silly bittersweet game we play

But not this sick, tormented ghoul
Who's slowly committing suicide
Whose wretched twisted soul
Is rotting her body from the inside out

I need you i want you i love you
But i need to push you away
Because the dark and wrenching truth?
I'm a grenade, about to explode.

Your words left me shattered
And i bled out alone

You,
You think that you are alone
And you do not understand
Why i call you beautiful
But galaxies spin, contained
Behind your perfect hazel eyes
And if you could gaze into them
You would understand why
A simple touch,
Or a whisper from your lips
Can set my soul aflame
Because
You are so sad,
Yet so beautiful
And full of love and passion
That i cannot help but
Clasp your hands in mine
And kiss your lips like
I would give anything to take away
The dark you feel within you
Because when our bodies touch
Even my cells are replenished
Drinking in happiness and love
You're my impossible boy

From inside myself i can hear
Shrieking, roaring voices
Telling me what i am not
Stating what i will never be
And screaming at me the worst
Which is what i am
NOTHING
    WORTHLESS
           STUPID/FAT/UGLY/*****/****
And i want to fight back
Rebel, scream, cry, cut until
They've seeped out of my blood
I don't rebel, i
Obey their every word because i know
That those words are true
And i deserve this

Music is my oxygen.
As I am stepping into the sunlight my
Body immersed in the deep, clear symphonies.
Drum beats steady; the breaths that I take
Piano keys dance: the blood of my veins
Immersed, this song is a part of me
Sometimes I forget this, as I dip below sea
Heart beats faster, mind struggling to hold on
Then, rushing to the surface, I realize
I can breathe again.