As  broken  and hurt as I might feel
I'm holding myself together
No matter how hard it may seem
-holding back my every tear that wants to slither
learning to be strong, knowing this will pass-  and
Sometimes I end up with more pieces
Than my own
Realizing I'm carrying yours as well
Helping you feel whole again
As I hold myself too
*Simultaneously

Don't approach a dog unknown to you
Holding out your hand, making eye contact
You may frighten him
Let him come to you

Don't write a poem uninspired
It won't work out
In good time
Let it come to you

Don't go out there seeking love
Like a child with a butterfly net
Live your life
Let it come to you

It was spaghettios
When they were good
It wasn't the hood
But broke country with Tom Pettios

Kickin' it like depression
Domestic abuse in a
High rise

No money for bills
Daddy's gonna rob a bank
Make it alright
Two parents, one fight

Only one makes it alive
Courts decide

Oatmeal, daily
There's no surprise
Except fifth birthday
Last time Daddy sings

Now I'll get married
But I don't want
No diamond ring

Oh, to give my girl a hug,
She is 7 already, heavens above,
we spent long days together
before the split,so now
we make the best of it

The seconds, the minutes that
have been taken away,
24 hours soon make a day
all this lost time cannot
be replaced,I look were she slept ,
now an empty space

her brother and sister
still live with me,two children is fine
but it should be three,my daughter now lives
with my wife and her lover,
the one losing time should be her mother
,

you asked me why I smoke
as frequent as I do
but what do you do
to satisfy
a longing
that could never
be expressed?
there are many things
I wish I could tell you
but
I inhale
my
every
intention
to speak

why do most want a
love that is detrimental?
a love that shatters
your teeth
as you try to speak
a love that inflicts
a stream of butterflies
or makes you appear
as if you've had
too much caffeine
by the way your
delicate
being
shakes

I have shaken
and clamped
my tongue this time
to stop the promises
from leaking out
I decline to drink coffee
so you don't believe
I'm quivering with words
unspoken

I decline to mention
that I dream of your face
in the future looking worn
from every obstacle
we have hurdled through
in our years
I decline to mention
every morning that
you're softly breathing sleep
I hold your face
and softly mumble
"mine"
I decline to mention
my excess of
"I love you's"
is caused by an
unshakable longing
to promise a forever.
but why?
why does it seem so
unattainable
why do I reject the thought of
a promise to you
for
something
so
precious?

I am tired of shaking
I am tired of a placebo
I'm tired of over used
empty apologies
I'm tired of reminiscing
remembering
" I will always love you"
"forever"
I am tired of my lovers thoughts
being elsewhere
I am tired
I am worn
my butterflies have turned
into the
ash
I flick
off
my
cigarettes

I used to write novels
for the people in my life  
I've loved until I saw how
empty
others were
while doing the same
I used to whisper "I love you"
and sweet meanings.
I have experienced
the truly empty
of this world
I have loved
the damaged
the angry
the sad
and
the broken

they spoke a hollow shell
of the same words
i purred with meaning
Suddenly
I lost
my appetite
for

forever

Let's finally see what helps
One pill, Two pill, Three pill, Four
Many colours for every mood
An injection here or there
A puff of smoke for you too
Lets grab that razor blade
See to that pain
No? Still not working?
Lets cut into your head shall we
Take out your brain and shred it into a million red pieces
And stare at yourself in the mirror for hours
Until a smile appears
A taunted simper
A thoughtless tear
No? Still not working?
Lets grab ourselves some Janola
A bit o' bleach and methylated spirits,
Ought a do the trick!
Gulp it back and listen to it gurgle
With a tentative ear of suicidal tendency
No? Still not working?
Pop every pill, swig every spirit,
Cut every main artery and mutilate your lungs
See to that pain
Now tell me,
Is it working?

I'm not sure who was more dishonest.

Me: who pretended everything was okay because it had to be,
There was no other way;
Or You: who built the person you needed to be on
A foundation of snow.

When our time came it wasn't okay
And the snow had long since melted.

Me: who ran to fall apart and begin picking up pieces as best I could -
I'm not whole, but there are things I'm learning;
Or You: who crumbled to the world, clutching at redemption -
Your fear was always your best friend.

Of all the scattered fragments,
Was it enough to salvage our own?

Me: who gets through the day by day with steady paces and guilt;
**Or You: