I've been chasing something that cannot be found.
I've been searching for something that's never been there
I've been waiting for someone, who's already gone
I've been dying to meet you for some time
I've been holding on for simply too long
© 2012 Christina Jackson

And I'm suffering now-
The sunrise seeps slowly
through my curtains
in disguise.
I cannot blame the sun for
appearing everyday I have
not closed my eyes.
However, the moon is so
lovely. I cannot help but
form a smile.
© 2014 Christina Jackson

You are, as tender as the night
The freshly painted black sky could reach down and brush your lips
In the center of this masterpiece called life
I have but only one wish
The wish to see you smile
You would make a beautiful picture
And light up the whole ****** sky
Turn night into day, with the rays
radiating from your eyes
You could summon all the angels and demons alike
But nothing could compare to the beauty of the way
My eyes light up when you make a subtle sly
Remark, about the way that I look
Or the way that I am
You hold the very best and worst parts of me
In the palm of your hands
© 2014 Christina Jackson

Where has love gone?
Into sunset, through dawn
to oceans astray, albeit
just one more day

my journey
has only just begun.
To the ends of the earth
I shall run

out into the vast galaxies beyond
just one more day
I’ll wonder away
into your arms

© 2012 Christina Jackson

An object of fire
Is much to be desired
The heart is an *****
with multiple disorders.
The head and the heart-
are not so smart;
When *** and lust,
play a key part.

No one is safe
everyone's a target

I'm glued to you
like a magnet.

Our bodies intertwine,
resulting in pent up
magic.

Fantasies we've come up
within our heads.

Oh ***, ***; a dreadful
yet delightful sin.

© 2014 Christina Jackson*.

Sign your name upon my lips
I'll sing you a lullaby
Nighttime closes around you
Filling you with lovers bliss
Until you've drunk the poison
L**eave me shaken not stirred
© 2014 Christina Jackson

I want to eat you-
Devour you whole
Remind you of your
primal goal.

The essence of self and soul

Skin on skin
Animalistic in nature

Nature vs Nurture
I nurture all of my
****** roles

Sweat dripping off of my chest
Sliding across yours

In hopes of healing-
our empty molds

Skin on skin
Animalistic to the core

I want to keep you-
under me, beside me
behind me.

Until we've forgotten the whole world
© 2015 Christina Jackson

She was a morning bird upon waking.
The most beautiful songs were sung
form her luscious soft lips.
You had never quite heard
songs such as this
She's a mockingbird
Repeating the worlds distress
Uncovering the ugliness
of life's unrest
Coping with the world was a
concept she couldn't quite grasp
All the loveliness that once
filled her chest
Turned to ash and dust
The morning bird and
the mockingbird were
two creatures she knew best
Now flying high above the trees
without purpose or direction
Fluttering those little wings
Until she found a place to build
her nest.
© 2014 Christina Jackson

I saw a ghost the other day
His eyes hollow, haunting me
from afar
The years spent picking up
every broken piece of my heart
Every scar, inside and out
is only bandaged over
not repaired
I'm afraid the ghost of you
will never disappear
My shoulders do not have room
for one more
© 2014 Christina Jackson

And she loved him-
With all that she was and
all that she ever could be.

And in one fell swoop-
He shattered her heart
into a million tiny shards
© 2014 Christina Jackson

I've often thought

Of the way your breath
would feel upon my neck.

A wondrous sensation,
I desire your hands to caress.

Every single crevice of my body

I long to know of,
the way your eyes would slowly raise,
gaze, and lock upon mine  

That moment, where time and space cease to exist.

The kiss before the kiss.

A coming together of the beauty between thy heaving breaths.
A small fraction of a second, before our lips have finally met.

© 2013 Christina Jackson

I hear the tick
and the click
and the beat of the drum

the sound of thudding
within my ear drums

It beats loudly
as the music strums
Softly and slowly
your voice hums

a beautiful tune

I must have assumed
that beautiful tune
was your heart beat
making music for me

You must have been amused

Now all the chords have been broken
The violin plays the saddest song tonight
Forever entwined within the notes
radiating from your subtle lies

This is the part in the chorus
where I fall to my knees
and plea for a different reprise

Kindly ask my heart
for the sense and sensibility
To start a new life

Those masterful musical notes
you wrote, are deeply embedded
Within a monstrosity of tangled
windpipes and heart valves
© 2013 Christina Jackson

The drunkenness of my mind
Saturated in liquid form
Exasperates the indigenous
parts of my fleeting eyes
Covering the smoke filled
screens of my life
Leaving me hopeless in this
state of uncovered lies.
© 2014 Christina Jackson

I would beg on bent knee
for all the gods to bring you
back to me

We were giants once
Do you remember?
The days we basked in
the sunlight
On the rocks, where the waves
crashed down upon us
Skin warmed and kissed
by the dying rays

I would beg on bent knee
for all the gods to bring you
back to me

When we became shrunken
like the voodoo heads
That hang in car windows
Do you remember?
You smiled back at me
Crookedly, lovingly

Your tender heart could
not bear the darkness
As I have welcomed it in
Easily, like an old friend

And I'd rip these trees
Root and stem
Beg on bent knee
For you, back again

And where will I stand?
When the earth opens up
and swallows me whole
Like the hole in my heart

Back in the place I left you
is where you'll find me
Down on bent knee

Earth rumbling with anger

I'll never be free
©2020 Christina Jackson

I have a lot of insecurities and self doubt
There are a lot of things that I don’t particularly love about myself

The way that I would second guess most of the decisions I made
The way that I used to prowl about,
and devour every man that made me feel like a ******* without pay
I often times sit and ponder about how insufferably
rich I could have been, if only I had been using my ****** head

These insecurities and self doubt,
They live in me like the blood that pumps through my veins

It’s not as though I've lost my pride
Or the emptiness I feel deep inside
It’s like a blade, without the sharp tip
plunging into my heart
And the tears swirl beautifully down the drain
disappearing, and turning into a drought
A river bled dry, of all it's renowned glory
and distasteful self perpetuating doubt

The fruits of my labor are not regrets that I wish to take back
Rather lessons that I've learned
While stumbling along the wrong side of the tracks
© 2013 Christina Jackson

And I'll write your name in ink
and pen
Over and over again

Until it smears and spreads-

Dripping from my blood
stained fingertips

© 2014 Christina Jackson

We all have demons-

The difference between,
you and me-

I choose to feed them.

They live rent-free,
unwanted guests trapped
in the abyss of my memories

I cannot hide
it's all in my mind

separation of church and
state
There is no redemption

Last call, fist fight-
getting over the words
inside of my mind

I must be dreaming
it's all deceiving
©2020 Christina Jackson

You stood there starring at me, with those cold dead eyes
and you wouldn't let me leave. I begged and begged.
They called and called for me, but I couldn't answer
My voice was muffled, trailing off into the distance
The wet dirt felt like home to me, I curled up in a ball
wept and wept, but you wouldn't let go of me
You shut me out of my paradise. Years and years
passed, but you would let me in. Was it too much
to ask? That all I wanted, was my life back.
© 2014 Christina Jackson

I tried- with comprising eyes
Yet you loved her with all that was
beautiful and wise.

My inevitable demise-

I was an afterthought;  I couldn't
keep what was brooding inside.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
Blowing in the wind, are the
remnants of "us".
© 2015 Christina Jackson

The tide rolling near
the soldiers stood
at attention
saluting the rise
of the eyes of the
oceans salty clear
arms as she
plummets into sand
ripping apart
the grains
taking them with her
as she expands
her encompassing mouth
into it she swallows
all the little soldiers
standing at attention
saluting the ocean
waiting for her
beautiful
return
© 2013 Christina Jackson

The spring that wouldn’t end

We locked ourselves in
Sunlight became
Fluorescent bulbs and
candlelight for some

And we couldn’t breathe
airways became sirens
and the world fell silent

Out of the storm
We have united-
A shift in consciousness

It was the spring
that wouldn’t end

We thought we were
Invincible
But found out how
dispensable we had become

And becoming became a
part of our daily ritual
and our guns became
masks and bleach

We thought we were safe

The lies spilled out
over the news station
radio waves

Official orders became
streetlights
As if we were all grounded
for staying out after dark

We weren’t smart
playing dead was
no longer a game
Sunday morning cartoons
became one thousand people dead
and all before 8 a.m!

We the people disobeyed
the chief in command
A murderer
The 1% will never understand

Nurses and doctors
suddenly became war
heroes
We cheered them on and
though they tried
Thousands started dropping
like flies

They called it mismanagement
I call it a crime

The spring that wouldn’t end
bleeds into summer
and the traffic lights are
blinking warning signs

We are moving too fast
it will never end

And the tyrants started
to look like giants
We’ve drawn back
the curtain
between love and hate

Division of lives
we conquered divided lines
and we drew lines in the sand
S.O.S
Screaming at the top
of our lungs

Lungs that have grown
vulnerable, to an invisible enemy

Picking its victims at random
And our answers to
questions unanswered
lie at the bottom of Petri dishes

And our kitchen cabinets
became locked targets

People hoarded the markets
of supplies, ripped out
root and stem
We bought all the wrong things
and we’re surprised when
it didn’t keep us safe

And those megaphones
turned into noise
canceling headphones

Your words don’t matter

But hey, take solace in
knowing we still have each other

Hugs turned into construction
barricades

Don’t stand so close to me
When coughs and holding
hands became the most
dangerous weapons to wield

So we used soap as shields
Kept each other in our
“thoughts and prayers”

Still believing something
invisible could cure us
When the very thing was
killing us

They called you a martyr
for leaving your home
in plain clothes

Menacing eyes follow you,
remember
Stay six feet apart
Because “droplets won’t spread
that far” -we promise!

And to the man who
led the command
you didn’t keep us safe
Your words became
bioweapons
terrorizing the land

And it didn’t matter
if you turned off the t.v
you were still there
spreading lies
spewing hateful
rhetoric

And the history books
won’t forget about us
Not again

We will always remember
the spring that
wouldn’t end

Our news feeds
were filled up
The grids became slower
We didn’t plan for this
[oh but we did, I tell ya!]

There are some who
are thriving
Finding their way in
the darkness

Pardon me, could you be
a little more quiet?
You’re disrupting the
regularly scheduled
program on war and
violence

And some became so
blinded by hate that
country of origin
was more important
than a human life

And how did they report it?

We became experts
in the art of hard targets
We had more
coffins than nails
and hammers

Virtual funerals
became a thing
When family and
friends “Party of 20”
didn’t mean the
same thing

Quickly, hide your children
hide the old and the wise
“They are most vulnerable”
lock them up inside

And we tried to
save the college
graduate
Who had no known
preexisting conditions
and as he gasped
for air

He blamed the politicians
for sending them down
the wrong path to
righteousness

And he became
just another number
on any given day

During the spring
that wouldn’t end

So we partied on
live streams-
danced in virtual
clubs
Made friends with
strangers
learned how to love

There were those
who logged
hundreds of hours
building their fantasy
worlds
Where Tim and Tom became
just as prolific as Jack and Jill

And somehow through
it all
We found love in the
time of COVID-19

During the spring
that wouldn’t end
© 2020 Christina Jackson

By all accounts, he was everything one could dream a lover to be.
By no account, was he what she was seeking in her delusional reality.
A trustworthy advocate that would suffice for a suitable and comfortable life.
None of what she wanted, was everything he was.
The eloquence in his words, echoed volumes in her head
She wrote of fantastical fairy-tales
All that was and ever will be
Shattered, broken
and dead.
© 2014 Christina Jackson

Beyond the strokes of time
awaits a mystery far too great
for human kind to currently relate

The grains in the hourglass are speaking to me
They're reciting a wondrous story
Each and every grain withholds its own destiny
A mystifying glimpse of distant miseries

If you listen, you will not hear
Once you feel, the grains of sand
magically become a reel
Through the shutters of time
a blurry vision appears

If you search, you will not find
Once you listen, its rhymes will unwind
Within the compass of time
hides a secret only the divine have been able to rewind

So join me my friend
On this never ending ride
I should like to warn you though
the end is always the same as the beginning
© 2013 Christina Jackson

I can feel the sadness in your bones
Lovely, dark and deep
Your heart needs a home
But I've got miles to go before I sleep
Those eyes that stare up at me are increasingly bleak
But I've got promises to keep

And miles to go before I'm at peace
© 2015 Christina Jackson

Death does not wait;
Nor does life.

I fight and I fight
With no end in sight

Death does not wait;
Nor does life.

I wither in pain
hollow inside and out

my flame does not burn
It’s been snuffed out.

In Death and Life

There is no end,
no end in sight.
© 2016 Christina Jackson

And suddenly, without warning-
A fire ignited inside of her

Years of dormancy
Emerging from her slumber

Starting over is some kind
of wonderful
©2020 Christina Jackson

Time is a such a sweet commodity-
Brief in it's essence, I'm drowning
in you.
Mind, body, soul-
The night fades away, at hearts will.
Those baby blues are like a sea all
woman dare to dive in.

Years of secrets and lies, lie beyond
your eyes- The years pass us by
and our love has yet to falter in the vast
and empty loneliness of life.

The passion of your heavy heart weighs
down on me and your naked skin
brushes against mine-
In a wave of unspoken release.

And the years have not been kind-
To your gentle, and fragile mind.
Temptation grabs you, like the hands
that wrap around your waist.
Pulling you closer and closer.
Sin pummels you, like the wave
crashes on sand and shell.

You want to let go, but you hold
on tighter as the passion in your
eyes grows and grows.

A boundless and sinful reminder-
of two lovers, hiding their deepest
fears and sorrows, between the sheets.
© 2014 Christina Jackson

Getting drunk
and staring at the wall-
I'm an expert
and this will not rhyme

The slur of words
I can't even comprehend
right now are incredibly
asinine

Drinking life from a bottle
is a sure fire way
to get knocked down

But that's life-
isn't it so divine?
© 2015 Christina Jackson

I can't put this any other way, other than the thoughts I've been having as of late.
You are so far away, like a disconnected cord that once connected us through fate.
We exceeded the laws of time and space
Knew of no other worlds, except the world we lived in when we were free
to be ourselves
No hiding behind the masks, or lying about our pasts
Please don't forget what we had
© 2014 Christina Jackson