I have a lot of insecurities and self doubt
There are a lot of things that I don’t particularly love about myself

The way that I would second guess most of the decisions I made
The way that I used to prowl about,
and devour every man that made me feel like a ******* without pay
I often times sit and ponder about how insufferably
rich I could have been, if only I had been using my ****** head

These insecurities and self doubt,
They live in me like the blood that pumps through my veins

It’s not as though I've lost my pride
Or the emptiness I feel deep inside
It’s like a blade, without the sharp tip
plunging into my heart
And the tears swirl beautifully down the drain
disappearing, and turning into a drought
A river bled dry, of all it's renowned glory
and distasteful self perpetuating doubt

The fruits of my labor are not regrets that I wish to take back
Rather lessons that I've learned
While stumbling along the wrong side of the tracks
© 2013 Christina Jackson