Death is but the beginning
of our never ending lives.

Fear not you sweet soul
We all live but a thousand times.

Death is insidious
Death is wise
But Death,
death is not kind.

We all face our death
before our demise.

Each and every day we swallow our pride,
we all die a little inside.

Yet

Do not mistake death
for end of life.
For its not but
the giver of time.

© 2012 Christina Jackson

I'm going to eat
so many chips
and cookies

THE END.

© 2016 Christina Jackson

Sometimes;
You are like a cave to me

Dark; mysterious
Often times dreary

But I love you all the same
that'll never change

I promise
That'll never change

Cause I love you all the same...

© 2013 Christina Jackson

It was easy to say you were
all that I needed in this life.

No one I had ever connected with,
came close to the way you
made me feel, in a different sense.

Never did I ever expect to
fall so madly in love
with a man I had never met.

A spiritual connection between
you and I, that could never
be a replicate.

We live in between worlds,
a place where no one else
but you and I visit.

Only in my dreams can I feel
you. Nothing will ever make
this emptiness in my heart
right.

No matter how hard I try.
I won't give up
You are worth every breath,
as I grasp on to the present moment-
I won't give up.
© 2015 Christina Jackson

The difference between
you and I

You'll sleep just fine tonight

And sleep for me won't come
until fall

The most unfortunate occurrence of
them all

Is leading someone on..
© 2014 Christina Jackson

There is a certain amount of misery and sadness that emanates from within when two lovers part ways. Unmistakably so, a feeling permeating like the tails of a comet leaving trails of white hot light in its destructive path; Through the darkest parts of a hearts grieving wrath. The circumstances of separation are usually unimportant when viewed through the kaleidoscope like lens of a comets looking glass. If you blink right on time, you'll miss the haunted look blankly staring out in to the starry dark night sky. Yet all that was right and whole, in one fell swoop seems to disintegrate in to a mysterious black hole. It leaves your innards laughing devilishly scattering like asteroids on earths inevitable impact, scarred and ******. A state of unrest travels throughout the body as though anesthetics have been administered without fair warning.  

You have not the faintest clue there is a storm brewing on the horizon, yet your first instinct begs further investigation. It is not the clouds or rain that moves you, rather the lightning that strikes you down; Turning all that you are in to a fragile piece of glass. The subtlety of the shatter gives way like a **** breaking leaving no room for second guesses. Pure catastrophe heeds in the foreseeable path one travels upon. I cannot stress as much as I can detest a lighthouses warning to an incoming ship. Those waters need carefully charted and calculated maps. However, with or without, one is sure enough to hit the rocky shores and crash.
© 2014 Christina Jackson

At night I sit and ponder
It leaves my mind only to wander
I miss you, how I miss you so
I don’t know where you went
Or where you’ve roamed
These days just don’t seem as bright
Without you by my side
Deep down I’m crying, dying
I miss you oh how I miss that smile
Time and space exceeds this place
Bless your troubled soul
I’m with you wherever you go
If you’re out there
I hope you can hear me
As the day’s fade on
Don’t worry
I won’t forget our wrongs
I'll always remember our rights
I won’t forget those alcohol-induced nights
Forever I'll remember the laughs we shared
I miss you, oh how I miss you so
How I wish I could make things right
I’m so sorry about that night
You never even knew
What it is you had coming to you
Your heart slowly stopped
And so graciously you went
I think a part of me died
When you left us here that night
I’m so sorry I couldn’t help you
I’m so sorry I couldn’t fix your strife
The world was just too much
For you to face
Each and every day
Oh how I wish I could see you
Just one last time
Always at odds
You couldn't handle all your flaws
Can you hear me? can you hear my calls?
I wish you didn’t have to go
So many things you've missed
Numerous memories I'll never know
We didn't get to celebrate
I'm finally an adult
I can order a drink and toast my love to you
I just know you'll be so proud
When you see me in my cap and gown
Don't you worry dear
You have nothing to fear
I hope you see Jerry and Jim
Both smirking with a devious grin
I miss you, oh how I miss you so
I'll keep you locked within my heart
Until the day I part

In loving memory of my wonderful cousin Josh
© 2012 Christina Jackson

You cannot lose what was never yours to begin with

No one owns anyone

You belong to one another

Freely and unconditionally

I lost what we had

And there was no room for self doubt

Yet I doubted all the was and all that could have been

Now my life is a mess

Without you, I haven't the faintest clue how to move ahead

I grew too comfortable of the thought that what we had would last



It didn't



Now all my walls have been built back up

and I'm afraid to love again.
© 2014 Christina Jackson

I think about you all the time
I think of you always
I can't get you out of my head
Would you politely excuse yourself?
Do me a favor and stop
I can't do this
I can't not be with you
I can't not hold you
I could kiss you forever
if you'd let me
and I don't why
I just wish you would open your eyes
but who am I kidding ?
You'll always be blind
Why you?
Why me?
Why can't we be?
My heart is breaking
and I need you
I need you here always
Always next to me
Never leave me
Just don't walk away again
I don't think I could bear to watch
My heart is screaming for you
and I think it lost its voice
Months and months ago
From the day we met
I knew I wanted to be yours
and I don't think I can do this
Anymore..

© 2012 Christina Jackson

We are all passing ships in this life
Guided by misguided compasses

Floating along rocky shores
of ignorance and bitter distaste

But it doesn't have to be that way

We can adjust our sails
Reset our compasses
to love and peace

It's not to late
It's never too late
to change our journey

However, no matter
which sea we choose
to sail

In the end;

We all succumb
to the same fate

It's not too late..

© 2013 Christina Jackson

I will always be waiting in between
worlds-

The moment within the moment

Where your arms were once wrapped
around me.

I can still feel you there, next to me.
©2020 Christina Jackson

When the wind blows loosely across
my sun-kissed skin
I can feel you-
Running through the veins of my
hallowed out hopes and dreams.

When I close my eyes in the dark of night
I can see you-
Running through my littered distraught
mind.

You wake me from my dreams
Bolt upright, lungs feel airtight
I'm gripping my sheets, gasping for air

I can still feel you here
In spirit and soul

I never truly understood the
nature of suffering, until you
left me here.
© 2017 Christina Jackson

There is a ghost that follows me where I walk and wander. The ghost has a name and I should like to call it "The Wanderer". It follows me like my shadow follows my soul. Wherever I go, it goes. A loyal ghost at that, and one could assume that it must be a professional at haunting. For it has been with me so long as I could remember, it doesn't falter nor fade away. You would think the abyss might swallow it whole after so many years of stumbling through many a puddle and ghastly broken and tattered roads. It does not leave my side, it's occupation I consider to be the ghost that fills the empty side of my life. Never leaving me alone in the dark, but staying with me when the dark is too much and all the stars I have wished upon pleading "stop wishing for a better life". And so, often do I ponder upon the thought that if my ghost would ever leave me rusted and scented of must. I can personally detest that so far it has not. My ghost "The Wanderer" doesn't have the guts nor gall to leave me broken, trembling in the dusty valves of my heart nor let me wither when you and I part hearts.  
© 2014 Christina Jackson

The window creaked like old shaky bones

Narrowing the top, where the crevices of glass
close like a safe full of gold and treasure
Yet, never breaks

All along I believed- His heart was immortal
The most graceful heart was held in he.

I admired him as though church goers do,
the stained remnants of stories we hold

So delicately- Do we hold on to the beautiful
in life
Yet, not the broken

All the broken pieces and shards lost
throughout the years of history-
I'd ought keep them all

Deliver them to the glass-man
and he'd have returned every
last piece of history
Place them in the palm of my
hands

Where they so beautifully belong-
forever with me
© 2014 Christina Jackson

The rain pours heavy on my windowpanes; it is only through the darkness that I realize what pain truly means. The sorrow, the lack of luster in everyday that has changed and I fear for those who do not yet know what madness life brings. It is nothing yet everything to understand what suffering brings. The state of darkness looming upon wake, and when the dreams of your subconscious mind come to life and haunt you day by day, I fear for those who do not yet know real pain. The loss of someone you love being ripped away, so abruptly; worse than a Band-Aid on fresh wounds, so terribly worse than seeing someone you love fall deeper and deeper into the chasm of their own demons, like a well you’re drowning and eventually succumb to frightening disdain. One realizes that everything in life isn't truly the same, change is the only constant in this delirious world of contradicting facsimiles.

You have nothing but hope and faith in this world of detriment. And I hope someday you find what you're truly looking for, whether it be love or the meaning to life. But never forget who you truly are, regardless of the pain and the tears that washed away the innocence of your years and fears. I am truly sorry for what you have endured, but I cannot look back anymore, nor ponder upon those heart wrenching fears you called my own, of which I cannot call my own. You must own them like cheap records, and let them die in the night like the decades of musical loss and dying discords.  You must find yourself in this beautiful world, never give up on everything wonderful. For you are worth much more than words, much more than anything I could ever endure.
© 2014 Christina Jackson

We silently weep
You wouldn't know it
under the covers we keep-
All the tears saved away

We silently weep
Beneath the pale skies of night

Where no one can see-
The tears welling up inside

We walk like giants in the day
Show no fear, or bottled up pain

We silently weep
as the white horses
roll towards the rocks

Crashing down, the waves
envelop us, drowning out
our muttered cries.

We silently weep
into ancient depths
of oceans lost-
Where our tears go
but are never forgotten
© 2017 Christina Jackson

Oh world, you are so beautiful
So beautiful the world you are
Forever amazed by your sweet company
Your company I'm forever amazed
Your wind whistles and blows
Blows and whistles your wind
You long to feel our hair
Hair you long to feel
Dance against your whims
Your whims you dance against

© 2012 Christina Jackson

Not finished with it yet, I still want to add more to it, but it's a start!

My heart's ablaze
I'm so amazed
cluttered in clichés
in a daze
I'm dismayed
too many long driveways
Life's fortes
as we graze
upon the gaze
in a haze of haze
trapped inside this maze
our voices phase
into the next of days
Oh did we raise
with utter rephrase
glancing sideways
into stairways
how I hate your ways
as much as I hate causeways
too much decay
along the edgeways
inside the hallways
roadways
screenplays
my heart strays
on into Sundays
and Tuesdays
I hate the weekdays
they're gateways
into other days.
© 2012 Christina Jackson

So? How about it now?
Just one look

Don't cry

There's that look again in your eyes

So? How about it now?
Just one look

Don't cry

That pain you feel inside?
It's eating away at you inner light

Promise me, hand in hand
We'll see each other again

Closed eyes, short of breath
Is your heart beating lightning fast?

Cause I'm trembling here, without you

So? How about it now?
One last goodbye

Please, I'm begging you

Don't cry

I'm always here

Through the depths of time and space
I can feel you here, reaching out for me

It's not impossible

It's only a holographic world
Space and time and distance,
are limiting your mind

So? How about it now?
Can you feel your hand in mine

Reaching out for you
from limitless dimensions

Please, I'm begging you

Don't cry

It was just an illusionary device
You conjured up in your head

So? How about it now?

The demons won again
© 2017 Christina Jackson

I used to think I wanted to live in the city
high above with all those grand lights a glow
I used to be afraid of the dark, until I
realized it was the darkness that I held.
Black as night, no shadows were cast
I feared nothing anymore, finally, at last.

I used to think the stars visible in the city
were the grandest gifts known to man
Until I traveled Into the darkness of
tightly winding trails. I found myself
gazing into infinity, looking back through
time. Millions of light-years away
the stars I now see are opposite images
of the black that once filled my life.  

I used to think a lot of things, but now, I know.
I used to fear a lot of things, but now, I don't.
If you don't step into the darkness from time
to time. You may risk never finding yourself.
© 2013 Christina Jackson

Many a tear has shed from these eyes-

Through the years of loving you,
My life hasn't been the same
You have chemically altered the cells
in my heart and brain.
The love and care you've showed me-
knows no bounds.
It’s limitless in shape and form-
spanning thousands of lifetimes.

It is said, you only truly love once
And I have loved you with everything
I am, and everything I aspire to be,
springs from the gratitude and appreciation
I have had of knowing you, of loving you-
Of longing for you, night after night
With no end in sight, I have loved you
With everything I am
And everything I will ever be
My love, my life, my destiny.
© 2014 Christina Jackson