I know you're up, it's 3am
and still you won't answer me.
otm.

He will

Kiss me hard
Touch me where I am scarred
Throw me out
Scream; shout
Remind me I am worthless
Make me wordless
Use
Abuse

But he will

Love me softly
Come home promptly
Take me out
Ask what I am all about
Remind me that he needs me
Compare me to a beautiful sea
Find me when I am afraid
Give me aide

And he will

*Always cry himself to sleep

ever since you left
i've replaced water with *****
it's dripping through my fingers
and is falling to the floor
it's coursing through my veins
still i drink a bit more

the flowers in my stomach
died the same day
i forgot you can't water them
with alcohol, anyway

so here i am still trying to escape
this is it, this is goodbye
i hope this time i forget your name.

Sophia sits
on the end
of Mr Haff's bed
as I am at the sink
tidying his towel

shouldn't you
be cleaning
the other rooms?
I ask her

she looks at me
with her icy blue eyes

przelec mnie
she utters in Polish

I look uninformed

**** me
she translates

I cough and look
at the sink
a stain
by one
of the taps

this sink
needs a good rub down
I say

you not fancy me?
she says
ignoring my statement
about the sink

sure I do
but not here
not now
I say
wanting her
to move
so I can make up
and tidy
the old man's bed

why not now?
we should live
for the now

I am busy now
and this is not
the place

she pouts
pushes a hand
through her blonde hair

you take me
to pictures?
see film?

maybe
if you go
clean elsewhere
I say
hoping she'll move
from the bed

good film on
we can go see
she says

ok we can see it
but now
can I have
the bed clear?

she gets off the bed
slowly making sure
I see plenty of leg
in the process

there is your bed
she says

thank you

I go clean
other rooms?

yes
go clean
I say

tonight
after picture show
we have ***?

I wanted to stay in
to wash my hair
but sure ok
I say
wishing her to go

she smiles seductively
and wags her behind
as she leaves
the bedroom
of Mr Haff

silence and peace
and the impression
on the blue cover
of the bed
where she had sat
on the bed

I brush it away
smoothing it out
but the image
is stuck
in my head.